A Walk on the Beach..

You know how people say, (quote) "Life isn't a walk in the park", well, my life isn't exactly a walk on the beach.


5. Exaplanation..


I know this is an interruption tot the story but i just have to say this. Ive decided to put this on some of my stories now since i posted the original on " A Trip to Paris"..


I want to tell y'all about some stuff, I owe it to all of y'all. So first off i know this was supposed to be done long ago but on my old laptop i had chapters for different books saved on there but it crashed and then we got it to open back up again but everything was lost and had to clean it and reset it all. Then one of my uncles friends had a daughter and wanted to buy her a laptop and i hadn't used it in so long it had dust on it (& yes it was working fine then i just had no time) so he sold it for $80. Then school started up this year and at my High school we get issued MacBook Airs, so that is what I'm using to write right now. I got a new one because the disk crashed on the other one, but they are very old ones indeed. So to go on with the story and get more into topic i have this one bio teacher and she is the greatest ever (not naming any personal names) she has helped me with so much throughout the year! So one day i accidentally left my journal in her class under my desk because it fell out so just set it down there. (it was a fir day, so she basically had the whole weekend to read what i had written) So i go in on Monday and ask if i had left anything there and she said yes i believe you did so she got in her desk and unlocked one door and pulled out my journal with a heart with some french words on it saying "I love you" or something. (it was the only one they had at Walmart then but i love it anyways) That night before i had written about 10 pages, back and front, about stuff that had happened to me before and was still going on. I wrote to help deal with stuff, i have many journals at least 10 filled with writing and drawings about different important stuff. but the ironic thing is at the end i wrote i hope somebody finds this one day and realizes that I'm not okay and its all a cover up story and helps me or is able to help. So the day after i wrote it all down in that new journal she found it and read it all, page by page, sentence by sentence and word by word. It was about self harming and my mom passing and where i live now and how i live here. So i get help now but not so much anymore. The school found out because we have a school website where you can message a teacher and we did that but it got flagged one day so the school found out and i had to talk to the counselor then body checks and stuff. Then i hah a new Best Friend who found out as well and helped me  (which is a guy BTW and everyone thinks its more but lets get back to the point haha). I also had a friend who did the same thing and we always talked about it but it was self harming and some stuff happened with other people and guys and friends and stuff.  But when the school found out i HAD to STOP i was FORCED too or they would call my guardians and then i would probably sent away and forced to get help at other places. The principal always gives me looks now and counselor and other faculty as well but counselor doesn't do checks anymore really or talking wihch makes me happy because it was always so uncomfortable in her room talking  about everything then she would ask to see my arms and stuff then get our nurse called over (which is at one of the other schools across the street past other school) (& also is a person i go to school with who i talk to only sometimes mother) So now I'm getting over it I've been clean for maybe I'm thinking about 2 months no cutting and i almost slipped up last night but didn't luckily. & my best friend always asks me if I'm okay and if i want to be alone and then he doesn't want me to and asks me if i need hugs all the time and to meet him and stuff because he wants a hug and wants to talk and everything is just great and he's the best person i could ever ask for in my life!! So this is where i am in life stuck with battle scars and he asked me about them last night too. Scars show what we have gone through i told him about them because he asked me too because he really wanted to know so i told him and said they make me ugly and he said I'm beautiful anyways my mistakes don't define who i am holy as a person. People make mistakes and bad choices but they get through them. & ill be here every step of the way and you have me and ill always be here fro you. & no judging and he won't ever do that to me because either things happened and i said you probably look at me differently now and he said no ill always look at you the same none of your past defines you!! Take this into consideration please!! Im begging you. If you have every had trouble with harming or life at home or anything and need somebody to talk to, maybe you've lost a parent, well i can help with that I've lost both and am living in hell right now. Please just contact me and i can help ill talk to you and Kik message me at ""Emilynn97""!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I'm free to talk whenever ill see your message and i will reply. Im not available as much on sundays though but sunday nights i am available to talk. Please  anything that you are going through i can help i promise and i will be available to. Anything , relationships, harming, bullying ,peer pressure or anything its fine!! Thank you all remember Message me on KIK at   Emilynn97. !!! Love you all thank you

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