Looking For Happiness

Efter at Jack slår op med Jennifer, finder Jennifer det umuligt at komme videre med sit liv. Hun prøver at finde livsglæden frem igen, ved at gå forskellige veje som hendes liv fører hende hen ad.


1. Chapter 1

“Jack, please tell me you’re not actually serious?” I forced out a laughter to hide the fact that I was falling apart inside. “I’m sorry, Jen. It’s not gonna work out.” He seemed annoyingly calm when he talked. As if the situation didn’t affect him at all. I wanted to punch him in his stupid and ugly face. I was trying my hardest not to breakdown and cry. “Fine. I don’t give a shit anyway.” That was, of course, a lie. I turned around and started walking. For every step I took, I raised my hopes for him to run after me and say “Jen! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” He never did. As I continued walking, the tears started to stream down. “Goddammit,” I said and wiped them away with the back of my hand. I started regretting that I walked away. Maybe he had more to say? Oh, it wouldn’t matter. He had said enough. I had heard enough. Just as I had managed to convince myself of that, I still turned around, as stupid as I am. Jack was nowhere to be seen. I fell to my knees, in the middle of the freaking park, and started crying my eyes out. “Fuck you!” I yelled out, obviously expecting him to hear me. An elder woman who was out walking her little French bulldog gave me a confused look as she passed me. “Watch out, lady” I said to her. “You wouldn’t wanna mess with a person who’s just had their heart broken.” She speeded up a bit, dragging her dog along.                                                

 I smacked my face down on the ground, and turned around so I faced the sky. Thank god for the fact that the park was as good as empty, or I would probably end up in the next morning paper. I could just see the headline. “Pathetic girl won’t stop crying. A witness in the form of an old confused woman says that she “didn’t know what to do,” and that she “was just out walking her dog when she found the girl.” I’m sorry you had to see that, old confused woman. Also, I’m sorry I yelled at you. You’re probably a very nice person. Sometimes the people we love just make us do weird things, that’s all. I couldn’t help but notice how some of the clouds formed the shape of a heart. Typical. I turned myself around on the ground. There, now the heart looks like a butt. That’s better. I started laughing. Then I started crying again. Oh god, how long will this last?  Suddenly, Jack’s face appeared in the sky. Well, not literally of course. The clouds formed his face. Either that, or I was going crazy.                                                                                  

“Excuse me, are you alright?” I was snapped back to reality by a mother who had little girl hiding behind her leg. “.. Not really.” I said, still looking at the sky. There’s no reason to lie now. Why would I lie to a stranger, anyway? It was pretty obvious that I needed help. “Do you want me to call someone? Your mom? Your dad? Anyone?” She kind of reminded me of Reba McEntire, both in looks and the way she talked as if she lived in the wild west. “No it’s alright. Perhaps if you could just help me off the ground...”  I quickly took a hand up for her to pull me up, which she did. “Thank you” I smiled at her first, and then at the little girl who was still hiding. The little girl blushed and smiled back. “You’re very welcome. You should probably head home and get some rest. You look like a mess.” She wiped off a tear that was on the way down my cheek. “I will. Thank you, again.” I turned around and started walking. While I walked, I tried to think of things that I could do when I got home. Play cards? That’s gonna be a little difficult, because of the fact that I am alone. Go for a walk? Sure, why not. Perhaps the squirrels, flowers and deer will come and sing to me about how everything will be alright. I sighed and turned around. I could still see the Reba look-a-like. I walked after her, almost running, and poked her on the shoulder. “Hey, could I walk with you for a bit? I just need to get my mind off things, you know.” She looked at me, obviously surprised. Then she started smiling. “Of course. Come along.” I caught myself thinking about how weird it was that a stranger was nicer to me than the person I had once loved more than everything was.

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