The blaring of my alarm pulls me out of my dreams. I hurriedly fumble around for my phone to turn it off before it wakes everyone else up. Once the blaring stops I relax again and burrow further into my bed.
No I need to get up. I throw the duvet of the bed and a wave of cold air hits me sending goosebumps up my legs and a shiver down my spine. Well, at least I'm awake now I guess.
I put a jumper on and grab my phone, checking the time. 6:03 am. I know what your thinking early for the summer holidays, right? But I'd much rather get up at this time than waste half the day in bed like pretty much everyone else.
I undress and jump in the shower.
Afterwards I stand staring at my naked body in the mirror, a look of disgust on my face. How could I ever think that a boy like Luke would want to be with me? I'm fat, spotty faced and disgusting and he is handsome, god-like and perfect in every way.
My fingers trace from my jaw line across my breast and down to my hip where a huge scar grasps at my skin. As my fingers scan across it foggy images of dad's lifeless, deformed body penetrate my mind. Shards of glass are dug into the soft flesh on his face. A bone is protruding out of one of his arms and the other is thrown in between me and the bloody air bag that is trying to engulf me. There is blood everywhere. I look down and see a huge piece of glass burrowing into my hip, where a few seconds ago I saw a scar, blood is gushing out of the wound adding to the gruesome scene before me.
I stumble away from the mirror and shake the image from my mind. Tears rapidly fall down my cheeks as I collapse to the floor. My body rocks itself back and forth smashing my pelvis against the hard tiles but I don't stop; the pain feels good.
I drag my shaking body over to the cabinet and take out a razor blade. For what felt like hours I sat with the blade in the palm of my hand hoping my stare would burn through it and make it disappear.
Doing this wouldn't bring dad back, it wouldn't make the memories go away. It would just hurt me and everyone I care about.
I resit the urge to add to the swarm of scars I already have across my hips and put the blade back in the cabinet with tears still streaming down my face.
I must have been sat on the hard bathroom floor for at least 20 minutes trying to calm down before I finally feel stable enough to finish getting ready. I force myself to get up and stumble back into my room.
I feel a bit better after I put on clothes and make up, covering all my insecurities (A/N: Outfit below!)
I collapse onto my bed, turn on my phone and start scrolling through Instagram. A picture of me and Jasmine when we were 5 shows up on my timeline with the caption 'Miss you already @DillJacobss xxxx Hope you like OZ but plz don't forget about me love!'. "Shit.." I whisper as I realise I forgot to text her about last night's events. I quickly send her a text.
Dillon: Sorry, I forgot to text you last night but I need to tell you something ;) text me when your up love xx
I know she won't be up yet, she's not much of an early bird. (A/N: I'm ignoring the time difference btw because it would get kind of confusing...)
An unexpected tapping at my window makes me look up from my phone. A pebble flies up and hits the glass making the same sound again. My eyebrows knit together and I walk over to the window to see Luke in my garden searching for another pebble on the ground.
I open my window and the noise startles him, he stands up and his eyes meet mine. Smiles immediately spread across both our faces. "Morning! I wouldn't expect you to be up this early" I beam down at him, "I couldn't sleep and Ash probably won't be up for another 4 hours", he chuckles, "so I thought we could go for a walk or something?". He bites his lip and looks up at me hopefully. "Sure, I'll be down in a minute."
"So where are we going?"
"Do you want to go in the forest? I bet you will love it" he starts towards the back of the garden and I follow his lead.
As we walk through the gate at the bottom of the garden the view takes my breath away. I have never seen trees so big, I feel like an ant standing next to a skyscraper. The sun is battling to get through the leaves high above us, only a few rays have broken through giving a shimmery light to the forest. Acres of flowers cover the floor with the exception of the windy dirt path we're standing on.
The reality of the bustling city seems to disappear as we step through the gate replaced by the tranquil sounds of the forest.
I stand in awe taking in my surroundings, a small chuckle brings me out of my trance.
I turn around to see Luke gazing at me with a grin on his face; "I knew you'd like it".
I turn to look at the forest again, "I love it".
"Come on I want to show you something" he takes my hand and leads me down the path.
After quite a while of walking he finally stops and turns to me "do you trust me?" he ask, his sparkly blue eyes burning into mine. "Well, that depends, have you brought me out here to kill me?" he chuckles and walks behind me covering my eyes with his soft hands. "Luke you didn't answer me!" I exclaim.
"I could never hurt you" he whispers; his lips right next to my ear. I feel his breath on my neck and my stomach flutters.
We start walking forward with Luke guiding me down the rocky terrain. "Ready?" he asks, "yep" I squeak.
His hands uncover my eyes revealing a pool of blue water in a clearing of the forest, it is so clear you can see every detail of the floor. A small waterfall runs of the cliff face into the depths of the lake creating a filmy mystique above the water, dazzling me with it's beauty.
Luke pulls his shirt over his head, throws it on the ground and jogs towards the water. My eyes widen as I gaze at the newly revealed skin, the muscles in his torso contract every time he takes a step. He turns to me and I blush as I realise I am staring. "Come on Dillon!" he shouts over to me "Oh...um...I don't know.." I stutter.
He frowns at me and comes back to my side "pweasee" he says in a baby voice. He juts out his lip and uses puppy dog eyes. "But-" Luke interrupts "Dillon you're beautiful, every single inch of you is perfect. I wish you weren't so self conscious. I wish you would see yourself how I see you..." he bites his lip and his cheeks go rosy but his gaze doesn't leave mine.
I'm speechless. I can't believe he actually likes me. My whole body feels completely weightless and I, for once, feel truly happy. For what felt like forever I stare into his eyes grinning like an idiot.
He once again leaves me alone and runs to the waters edge. He discards his jeans and is now standing just in his boxers. I bite my lip and let out a small giggle. He turns to me and gestures for me to come before cannon balling, not very gracefully, into the water creating a huge splash.
"Screw it" I mumble to myself. I remove my shoes, jeans and top and run over to the water. Luckily I am emerged from my ribs down so none of my scars are visible.
Luke cheers and starts swimming towards me "you're in, was it really that bad?"
"It's fucking freezing Luke!" I shout, my teeth chattering
"Oh yeah, forgot to tell you about that" He smirks. I gently punch his chest, he pretends to be really hurt and clasps his hands over where I hit him. "Right, that's it!" his hands move from his chest to my sides and he starts tickling me. I squeal and try to get out of his grip but he is too strong so I tickle him back. His grip loosens for a second while he is laughing and I mange to wiggle away from him. I start swimming deeper into the water but I'm not a very fast swimmer so Luke soon catches up to me.
I spin around and splash water at him, he lets out a high pitched squeal and I crack up. But I'm too busy laughing to notice the huge wave of water coming towards me, it completely drenches my hair and face and knocks me off balance causing me to fall into the water.
Luke's hands grab me from under my arms and he lifts me up out of the water spinning me around. I giggle and fling my head back like a little girl. But my smile fades when I realise Luke is staring in horror at all the scars across my hips covering my body that came into show when he lifted me out of the water.
He puts me back down, "w-what happened?", a look of concern, sympathy and anger on his face. My stomach drops, what if he doesn't like me after this? After he realises how weak and broken I am? I reluctantly tell him the whole story about dad, the depression and the self - harm and he stays silent the whole way through, an unreadable expression on his face.
Once I have finished Luke has tears brimming his eyes; "Dillon I'm so sorry...". His arms wrap around my waist and he lifts me up again. I cling onto his body, bury my head in his neck and let out a stifled sob. Tears soak my cheeks and Luke's neck.
He places me on a nearby rock making me the same height as his shoulders. He places his hand on my cheek and wipes away my tears then moves it down to my hip and traces patterns across the gathering of scars. He crouches down and gently kisses all the scars across my hips, every time his lips connect with my skin my whole body tingles.
He stands back up and I look up at him, his arms are wrapped around my waist and mine are around his neck. A single tear has escaped his eye leaving a streak down his face another one starts to follow the same path but I wipe it away, leaving my hand on his cheek.
I lean my head on his bare chest and he rubs his hand up and down my back in an attempt to get me to calm down. "Do you promise you won't do it again?" he asks me; his voice breaking part way through. I nod my head against his chest, "I promise."
After a while he takes his arms off my waist and lies down on the rock he holds out his arms inviting me to lie with him. I place my head on his chest and hold one of his hands, the other is wrapped around me. We are both silent; intently listening to the sounds of the waterfall hitting the lake.
"LUKE! THERE YOU ARE I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE!" a shout echoes across the clearing. My body bolts upright to see Ash walking out of the trees. "Shit, Luke he's going to see my scars" I move my hands to my hips in an pathetic attempt to cover them up. I look at Luke with a desperate expression on my face. He sits up too and holds my hand again. "Why don't you just tell him?" the idea makes my stomach sink, I was fine with telling Luke but I don't want everyone to find out. He might think I'm just attention seeking. "But I don't want everyone to find out - what if he tells someone? Or he might think I'm attention seeking and-" Luke butts in "Dillon, Ash isn't like that he will understand. I can tell him if you want?" He rubs circles on the back of my hand. I look down at our intertwined hands to think. I see Ash waiting at the edge of the water for us to come over and Luke is looking down at me waiting for me to tell him what to do. I feel like the whole world is closing in on me.
My breathing starts speeding up as all the possible scenarios run through my head. It might get out then nobody at school would want anything to do with me; what chance would an attention seeking new girl have? Then I would get bullied. Then Luke wouldn't want to be with me. And Logan might hate me. Mum might disown me. I would have to live in a foster home. Nobody would want to adopt a broken 16 year old girl. I would turn 18, leave and live a pathetic life on the streets and sell my body for a can of dog food. I know this is ridiculous and it would never happen but I can't help it running through my head over and over again. My breathing gets faster and tears start falling down my cheeks. I have never told anyone before I have no idea what is going to happen.
The images in my mind fade as Luke's voice bring my back to reality. His hands are on either side of my head and he is repeating my name again and again, his face is inches away from mine and I can smell his minty breath. "Dillon what's wrong?" he asks as my eyes finally meet his. "Just tell him" I mumble. I'm probably going to regret this. He jumps off the rock and kisses my hand before letting go and walking over to Ash.
A few minutes later I hear someone wading through the water and before I know it a pair of arms are wrapped around me. "Dillon, that's so awful, I'm sorry that happened to you", it's Ash, "I promise I will never tell anyone unless you want me too; you have nothing to worry about." He smiles at me and hugs me again, I hug back. "Thanks Ash." He jumps down and helps me off the rock and blush when I realise both of us are only wearing underwear. I swim to the bank and run over to Luke, "is it OK if I borrow your shirt?" I ask "it might get a little wet". He agrees anyway so I pick it up off the floor and pull it over my head, it goes down to just above my knees. The smell of Luke fills my lungs and my whole body feels warm.
I sit down next to Luke and lean my head on his shoulder. "It looks good on you, you should keep it" he says while smiling at the oversized shirt on my small body. "I like it; it smells like you" I say making him blush.
Suddenly we both get soaked with water, I wipe my eyes revealing Ash in the lake laughing at us. My new outfit is now completely soaked.
Me and Luke exchange a glance and we both jump into the lake at the same time making a splash 3 times the size of Ash's. We laugh and high-five as ash spits tons of water out of his mouth, an annoyed expression on his face.
Ash attempts to splash us again but Luke tackles him and they both fall under the water, there is a struggle for a few seconds but then to my relief they both surface, still laughing.
Luke runs over to me and I smile at him, not realising what he is going to do. He picks me up by my waist and holds me up in front of him face forwards. A huge burst of water hits me and I squeal trying to get out of Luke's grip but he won't let go. He's using me as a shield; that little bastard. I start shouting his name as more waves hit me and he just laughs.
2 HOURS LATER...
"OK, I bet you $10 that you can't stay under the water fall for 2 minutes" Luke smiles at me, proud of his new challenge. "$10? I got you Hemmings" I swim over to the waterfall and surface right underneath it. The water is so much colder than in the pool and the force of it hits me like a million icicles sending cold shudders throughout my whole body. My back stings and I can't stay there for another second. I swim back to the warmth of the lake which now feels like a Jacuzzi to me.
"Oh, you've got me have you?" Luke says with a smirk on his face. "Hey! Shut up how about you try t-" I'm cut off by Ash yelling across the water, he has his phone in his hand. "LUKE WE HAVE TO GO, WE HAVE BAND PRACTICE, MIKEY AND CAL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 10 MINUTES ALREADY". Luke mumbles something to himself and we both clamber onto the bank to quickly get dressed; Luke missing a shirt which I am not complaining about at all.
"Dill, you can come if you want? I mean to listen to us play. Only if you want to, you don't have to if you don't want to." Luke stutters nervously rubbing the back of his neck. I take his massive hand in mine, "I would love to Lukey" I say smiling at the nicknames we just gave each other. We head back to Ashton's, mine and Luke's hands intertwined the whole way.
A/N: Hellooo, I just wanted to say thank you so much for reading and liking and all that stuff, it makes me so happy! Also sorry I'm so shit at updating I just want to make the story as good as I can so it takes me agess to write plus I hardly have any time to write anyways. I hope you liked the chapter and I'll try to write the next one as quickly as possible -Becca xx (It screwed up the paragraphs again -___-)