227. Unfortunate Circumstances
It's too much for me. I can't take all of this at once.
This year was off to a good start—new goals, new achievements, and recent reconciliation.
But it always happens. Death. Death of a loved one. My abuelita (grandma in Spanish) is on her death bed, and I have no way to be there for her in her final hours. It sounds like my hope is drained, but let's face it. She might give up the fight for her life.
Years ago, when I was just a little girl, my abuelita was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately, it was detected early. Unfortunately, she was struck with bone cancer last year and has been struggling to recover ever since. Along the way she lost the ability to walk, stomach down any food, or move the slightest of movements. Now she lays in my cousin's bed in Mexico, her body trying to fight off pneumonia.
I wanted to go so bad. To see her one last time. But it just always happens. When I am at the peak of my most stressful time in school, a family member dies. Last year as a senior in high school, my abuelita on my mom's side passed away just when I started school in August. Years prior, my abuelitos (grandpa in Spanish) from both sides of my family have passed away. And my aunt. And my uncle.
Now that I'm in college, I have no way of going to Mexico. If I go, I lose a semester of school and would have to make it up, resulting in a waste of thousands of dollars that I have to pay to go to college.
So there's my rant for today. I'm just so mad at the world for this happening to me again. No, I do not enjoy going to funerals. But I love my abuelita and I wanted to be there for her.