Mocha the Bear

The origin of my username, plus random thoughts and more! Warning! Yellow–may contain some mature content. Cursing is not censored. © Copyright 2014-2016. All rights reserved. I created the cover myself.

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241. Snow White the Psychic

Snow White, the Psychic by Alondra Fernandez

(Currently in the “Big Apple”, SNOW WHITE is attending one of her regular clients in the psychic shop. BELLE has always ended up with men that turn out to be absolute beasts. The setting is in SNOW WHITE’S office, around the 1980’s, and it’s during the summer.)

 

BELLE

(Starts to cry) That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you Madame White. I always end up with horrible men. They are absolute beasts! (Wipes tears with tissue from purse)

 

SNOW WHITE

No my child! Do not cry. I see something in my crystal ball, something incredible. Do you want to know what I see? (Moves hands slowly above crystal ball)

 

BELLE

What on earth could you see? Oh, I know. Another beast.

 

SNOW WHITE

Not quite. (Closes eyes) I see, I see… I see a beast.

 

BELLE

What do you know? I freaking called it.

 

SNOW WHITE

However! If you learn to love that beast for who he is, he will surely become a prince in the end.

 

BELLE

Really? You think there’s still hope for me Madame White?

 

SNOW WHITE

Of course dear! Would a psychic ever lie to you? (Checks watch) Oh, would you look at the time! It looks like this reading is done for today.

 

(SNOW WHITE gets up from her chair, and stands by the door)

 

SNOW WHITE

You don’t mind showing yourself out right? Oh, and be a dear and pay Dopey at the front desk what you owe for today’s visit. Au Revoir miss Belle!

 

(BELLE quietly gets up and exits. She goes to pay her friend EVIL QUEEN a visit in her condominium. EVIL QUEEN greets her in and offers her an iced tea. She is standing by the large window in her living room, while BELLE is pouring her heart out.)

 

BELLE

I just don’t know what to do Grimhilde! Madame White keeps saying that I’m going to find a beast who turns out to not be a beast after all. I just keep going in circles. (Sips iced tea)

 

EVIL QUEEN           

Who’s Madame White?

 

(BELLE spits out her iced tea in reply.)

 

BELLE

What? You don’t know who Madame White is? Snow White is totally the best psychic in all of New York City! She has a little shop near Broadway.

 

(EVIL QUEEN is embarrassed that her friend could be so gullible. She began to tighten the grip on her glass of tea.)

 

EVIL QUEEN

Belle darling, is she even helping you at all in your relationships?

 

BELLE

Well, no but-

 

EVIL QUEEN

Who was the one who broke that spell on that Adam guy…what was her name? Oh! I remember! But you didn’t see how much of a jerk he was and I had to take care of Adam. Permanently. Who was the one who warned you about giving scumbags like Gaston a chance? Sweet heart, don’t go out wasting time and money on someone who is feeding you lies. Trust me.

                                   

BELLE

But Snow White is an actual psychic, Grimhilde. What should I do? I already made an appointment for next week. She is said to be the fairest of them all.

 

EVIL QUEEN

(Breaks glass in her hand) What did you say?

 

BELLE

The Psychic shop’s flyers say, “Let the fairest of them all answer your call”. Look, I even have a business card of their shop.

 

EVIL QUEEN

Could I see that? If you want, I could call the place for you. Think about it, maybe you’re better off not dating right now.

 

BELLE

Hmm… I guess you’re right. I got to book. Literally. I’m going home for some much needed reading.

 

(As soon as BELLE left, EVIL QUEEN decided to call the shop. But instead of cancelling Belle’s appointment, she had other plans. On the third ring, DOPEY, the secretary, answered.)

 

DOPEY

(On the phone) S&D Psychic shop, let the fairest of them all answer your call. Dopey speaking.

                                               

EVIL QUEEN

(Speaks into phone) Yes, my name is Evil Queen. I’d like to make an appointment with Snow White. As soon as possible please.

 

DOPEY

I can squeeze you in at 3:15. Does that work out?

 

EVIL QUEEN

Perfect.

 

(EVIL QUEEN  ends the call and hangs up. At the psychic shop, SNOW WHITE enters the break room. HAPPY, GRUMPY, SLEEPY and DOC are on their lunch breaks.)

 

HAPPY

And there she is! The fairest of them all and the best in the business.

 

SNOW WHITE

Oh stop it! (Blushes) I’m pretty sure we can all thank Doc for making this psychic shop happen.

 

DOC

Oh thank you Snow. But I feel that the people who should truly be recognized are the suckers in this city who believe this psychic bologna.

 

SLEEPY

Yeah, but Snow can really tell the future. (Yawns loudly) Right Snow?

 

SNOW WHITE

Can’t say. It’s been years since I’ve been able to really look into the future. I just wing it when it comes to desperate idiots who look for advice.

 

DOC

Yeah like that one regular. She seems smart at first, but then you see what an airhead she is. Frenchy tries to change these so called “beasts” she dates. Ha! What do you think Grumpy?

 

(GRUMPY is sitting down at the round table in the break room. His expression was stern as always.)

 

DOC

Grumpy? You okay? (Pushes glasses up from nose) You’ve been awfully quiet. What’s the matter?

 

GRUMPY

We’re all going down. There’s someone out there who’s going to find out we are frauds.

 

HAPPY

Not even! Don’t be lame Grumpy. As long as we’re making money, there’s nothing to worry about.

 

GRUMPY

(Gets angered) You dipsticks! Can you see? Belle is a regular here. She’ll figure it out eventually. We better quit now; before it gets out of hand.

 

(DOPEY calls SNOW WHITE because she has another client for today: EVIL QUEEN.)

 

SNOW WHITE

Sorry guys. Looks like we’ve have another customer to satisfy.

 

(SNOW WHITE bites into an apple and walks out of the break room. She goes into the reading room, finding EVIL QUEEN already sitting down)

 

SNOW WHITE

Hello. You must be Evil Queen. (Extends hand) I’m Snow White, the psychic.

 

(EVIL QUEEN does not shake her hand at all. SNOW WHITE sits down, places the bitten apple on the table, and starts asking her simple questions to get her “predictions” going.)

 

EVIL QUEEN

(Shyly says) I’ve been after the fairest of them all, but to my avail, I haven’t found her. New York City is such a big place. My friend Belle told me this was a good place to be. You can totally help me see who the fairest is, right? (Makes eye contact with SNOW WHITE)

 

SNOW WHITE

(Becomes interested) Who is this fairest of them all? Oh, I think I see something.

 

EVIL QUEEN

(Begins to smile) Oh really? What do you see Snow White?

 

SNOW WHITE

I see… I see… I s-

 

(SNOW WHITE has an actual vision that shows her who “the fairest of them all” truly is. She is trembling with fear as to what she just saw.)

 

SNOW WHITE

(Whispers) Grimhilde.

 

EVIL QUEEN
Is something the matter, Madame White? (Raises an eyebrow, slightly amused by SNOW WHITE’S reaction.)

 

SNOW WHITE

(Stares at unfinished apple) I…uh. Will you please excuse me for a minute? I will be right back.

 

(SNOW WHITE grabs her belongings. She runs out of the reading room, past the break room, and into the waiting room. She goes up to DOPEY’S desk.)

 

SNOW WHITE

Dopey. Can you please cancel Belle’s appointment set for next week?

 

DOPEY

Mhmm. Why?

 

SNOW WHITE

(Looks around) I need to leave town for a while.

 

DOPEY

Okay. I’ll tell Sneezy to come in and take your place.

 

(SNOW WHITE calls PRINCE FLORIAN and tells him to pick her up to take her to the airport. Time passes and SNOW WHITE’S ride arrives. She turns back from the door to tell DOPEY one last thing.)

 

SNOW WHITE

One more thing before I go for a while, Dopey.

 

DOPEY

What is it Snow?

 

SNOW WHITE

Tell Doc to quit printing on our flyers “let the fairest of them all answer your call”. I don’t think it’s accurate.

 

DOPEY

But why? What about Evil Queen? What ha-

 

SNOW WHITE

(Yells while walking out the door) And don’t eat the apples!

 

(SNOW WHITE exits the psychic shop, heads to the airport, and is now on a plane with PRINCE FLORIAN. She is looking out an airplane window)

 

PRINCE FLORIAN

Hey Snow, are you alright? You’re acting like you seen a ghost or something.

 

(SNOW WHITE ignores PRINCE FLORIAN)

 

PRINCE FLORIAN

Hey, I bought you the damn ticket. The least you could do is tell me what happened.

 

SNOW WHITE

Florian, I had a vision. A real one this time. You remember a while back when that Grimhilde tricked me into eating an apple and almost killed me in Beverly Hills, Michigan? She calls herself Evil Queen now. (Turns away from window) Florian, it was the same woman. Grumpy was right. If I didn’t make up my predictions at all, no one would have suspected me and the dwarfs. Florian, I saw it! I saw the change that Grimhilde made so she would appear different. She knew that we had moved to New York City! I should have known someone as stupid as Belle would help lead Evil Queen to me.

 

(SNOW WHITE put her head in her hands while PRINCE FLORIAN tried to comfort her.)

 

PRINCE FLORIAN

Hey, are you down with living in Las Vegas for a while? I know a guy who can help us get a place. Don’t cry Snow. Everything is going to be alright. Can you tell me what you saw in the vision?

                                   

SNOW WHITE

I saw a flashback of what happened in Michigan with Grimhilde. Then I saw her slowly transform into what she looks like now and how she changed her name. She works for a company that delivers Apples! Oh God! And at the end, I saw a clock strike four and everything getting dark.

           

PRINCE FLORIAN

Don’t worry Snow. You’re save with m-

 

(SNOW WHITE began to get drowsy. In a matter of minutes, she was out cold. PRINCE FLORIAN, not knowing what to do, nonchalantly sat in his seat. Ignoring the probably dead SNOW WHITE.)

 

PRINCE FLORIAN

I guess you aren’t the fairest of them all.

                       

(PRINCE FLORIAN gets up and moves to another seat. END.)

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