once upon a cold rainy Tuesday morning mister badger wished his name was Alphred Winniden, it would be Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. he thought that sounded precocious. of course darling. that was camp.
tents in a sunny green garden. with gnomes and fairies annoying people by stealing their hair for nests and peoples children mainly for eating and stealing teeth. basically they are kleptomaniacs in the broadest sense of the word. this badger lived in a hole in the ground. not a dirty wet hole filled with the ends of worms and oozy smells. this was a badger hole and that means comfort. if you think a sandy, clean, warmish hole is pure luxury and that is frankly not my view as I like a plush sofa and a good book. the area however was peaceful, safe, despite the fey constantly prattling about, and the forest was rich with bluebells and foxglove flowers.
Mister B. Adger had a cream scone with his afternoon tea and waited. he was waiting for his bet suit to be returned from the drycleaners. It had red wine poured down it by a jealous sprite. he was apparently not free but had slept in her brothers, dogs, friends, owners, friends bedroom. anyway long story short she was cross, actually quite pissed. ok furious but luckily she wasn't powerfully magical or a fire sprite. his fur had never quite recovered from his last 'experience' with one. another long story.
anyway, where was his suit? he had become very irritated in a very British way. the door bell stayed silent for the next four hours. in a fury now he wondered whether the sprite had eaten the dry cleaner in revenge or set fire to his hair and the washing river. he picked up a brick and left for the sprites house with revenge on his mind. he stood on the threshold of his mushroom cap home. it was red and dotted. he reached back to shut the door, thinking to himself that he would need a bigger brick if he wanted to smash as much as he could of her stupid things.
so he went outside to look for a big rock instead to cause more damage, possibly to her but only if she was responsible for the suit and the washing cleaner however just in case she wasn't he rushed back into the house to get the brick he had left from it's place on his shelf of other large bricks and bricks of cheese.
It was a cold rainy day so badger decided it might be best to stay in tonight and wait and maybe ask her if she had time to think about things since they were last speaking or otherwise and maybe she had changed her mind about the drink throwing incident and would consider patching things up and not eating quite so many dry cleaners just after they have been given his wine stained suit or any other of his numerous damn sexy suits even if he slept in her nightdress one time or even her ball gown but that was another long long story too.
another one seriously, his life was a long story and very complicated, isn't everyone life if they sleep and if they dally with affections they get hurt can't be helped it can if both wish it and if you are careful with your heart by never giving it away to anyone which was lonely but free and somewhat safer than the rest of the pitfalls of the rest of so called affection and this thing that changes the fate of the mind and spirit drifting through life like so many all of us