I heard that the cell phone rang but I couldn't answer. I knew it was Niall, but the truth was that I had changed my mind. I didn't know what to say to him. I felt just like the loser and maybe it was just as well that I didn't care about him? I still made myself to a fool and I behaved like an idiot. Okay, a little was his fault, but still. Niall tried to reach me ten times and then fell the mobile phone silent. I started to cry and I felt like a little child. I cried because I had been so stupid and gone home to me. I cried just because he certainly was now even more angry at me. I cried because I was me and that I only could blame myself.
An hour later Niall was outside my door. I lay still in bed. I know! I behaved like a little kid who wanted to defy her mother. Still, it felt wrong to open the door.
"Jenny, you are at home, are you there?"
I put a pillow over my face. I didn't want more and I was tired. I was tired of myself.
"Please, Jenny. Are you home?"
I cried, I was shaking and I went through the last few days over and over again. I realized that we had done everything quickly. I almost had already moved into his home and we were planning a Christmas together. I also realized that I would have to stay in London. I had no money to buy a ticket, and in a way maybe it was just as good? Still, I had just cried and been sorry. My mother had certainly grown tired of me and in the end she had paid, so I could go home to London again.
In the afternoon, I was surprised when there was a knock on the door but I heard Louis's voice.
I hesitated, but at the same time it wasn't Louis I would be afraid of. I took myself away from the bed and I opened for him. He looked worried and he saw that I had cried half the day.
I nodded and I let him in. Louis looked at me for a long time and he actually seemed to care.
"Niall's back at Harrys house and he's crying rivers. What happened?"
I blushed and I looked down at the floor.
"I don't know!" I whispered quickly. I closed the door and I sat down on the couch. Louis followed me with his eyes and he didn't believe me.
"Niall told me about your questions and he didn't mean to get angry." he said quickly. I blushed and I had no idea what I would say.
"It was wrong of me." I said quickly. "But I..."
Louis smiled and he sat down beside me.
"We just have a lot of directives from the management and that question's one of the most sensitive."
I frowned and I avoided his eyes.
"Sorry I asked and it was wrong of me."
Louis laughed a little bit.
"Imagine that Larry was the reason you was teasing?"
"He was angry for everything yesterday." I looked at Louis. "He was so angry at me and he stopped talking to me."
Louis nodded and he raised his eyebrows.
"The truth is that there has been a lot around Niall." he said kindly. "He's not used to having a girlfriend and he doesn't know how to behave all times."
"He didn't need to be so cold."
Louis seemed to understand and he took his arm around my shoulder.
"He repents!" he whispered. "He's so sad that I haven't seen him so sad before, and that means he loves you and he repents."
"I didn't dare open the door before." I said honestly. "I was afraid he would be more mad at me."
Louis shook his head.
"Right now, he understands that he did wrong. That's all, and we all need to mess sometimes?"
I agreed and I smiled weakly at him.
"But I wasn't prepared."
Louis looked at me for a long time and he pondered a few extra seconds. He was in a good mood and I understood that he wanted to reconcile me and Niall.
"Do you know one thing?"
He blushed a little bit.
He laughed and he looked resolute out.
"Yes, I have and I had and I will have a special relationship with Harry."
"You don't need to tell me this?"
Louis disagreed with me and he laughed a little bit.
"I like both guys and girls and I love Harry." he laughed uncertainly. "Harry likes guys and I hope he loves me, but the truth's that management doesn't want to bet on us if we go out with the truth."
Okay? Was it now as I would say something nice or what? Louis knew I was flabbergasted.
"And we once said to everyone in the band that they couldn't tell a single person about that, not even for you." He looked at me. "Niall felt as betrayer yesterday. He wanted to tell but he knew he couldn't. He panicked because he hadn't expected that you would recorded the details."
"So it was my fault?"
Louis shook his head.
"No, no way! It was the event itself. Niall hesitated over what he should do and he was disappointed in himself, that he didn't say it all to you."
Louis and I sat in an hour and talked and eventually I almost forgot why we was talking.
"So you want to come along to Harry and save an Irishman from going mad?"
"Okay!" I looked at him kindly. "And thank you that you trust me."
Louis snorted teasingly.
"It's okay." He smiled at me. "You're such a girl who wont talk to everyone about the secret and I know that you're the right girl for Niall. Therefore I like you."
I hugged him, just because he would understand how grateful I was.
When we came to Harry's house, I heard Niall already in the hall.
"She wont forgive me." he sobbed. Although they heard the front door opened, he didn't seemed to care. "I wont meet with such a girl again."
I admit that I smiled. It was wrong of me to smile, but it was wonderful to hear Niall say those words. Louis smiled at me and he showed me to stay in the hall. Then he went into the other.
"Niall, come with me."
Niall hesitated and I heard he sobbed.
"No, I'm going to sit here and suffer."
Louis was annoyed.
"Come with me, or I force you!"
Niall was just standing when he saw me. His face was red and his eyes were red. I saw the tears flow longest with his cheeks and he was swollen from all the crying. I swallowed and I didn't know what to say.
"Me and Jenny have spoken!" I heard Louis explain to Niall. "She knows the truth and that's okay Niall. She loves you and you love her. Don't let Larry destroy it."
Niall became uncertain. He swallowed.
"So you don't intend to leave me?"
I shook gently on my head. He smiled a little bit but he wasn't sure.
"And you're not mad at me?" he continued. I shook my head again and this time I couldn't help but smile back.
"I'm just sorry that I made you so angry."
Niall gulped and he didn't released me with his eyes.
"Sorry, but I wasn't mad at you. I just wasn't sure how I would do."
I looked down at the floor.
"I know, Louis told me."
Louis left us and immediately took Niall few steps towards me.
"You know that I love you?"
"And I love you."
He nodded and he wiped away all tears on his face with his arm.
"So we can try again?"
I looked up at him.
"But only if you don't get so angry without explaining."
"It was wrong of me."
"I was scared and I was hurt. I was also sad and I needed to bake to get away from you." I hope he understood my explanation. "I wanted to open the door when you were at my house, but I was so unsure how you would be with me."
Niall walked up to me and quickly he pulled me into his arms.
"I understand!" he whispered tenderly. "I had done the same thing."
I smiled a little bit and it was wonderful to feel him next to me again. I took my arms around his neck and I answered the hug.
"Do you promise not to do it again?"
He nodded quickly.
"Ten fingers on the Bible!"
Niall kissed me and it wasn't one of those ordinary kiss. It was long and it was intense. I almost got butterflies in my stomach and I realized how much we fit together.
"Perhaps you should go home?"
Harry's voice got us to finish the kiss and I blushed. Both Harry and Louis stood looking at us with big smiles. Niall laughed uncertain and he nodded toward them.
"Or you get one of the guest room here?"
I gasped and I blushed so that my cheeks were on fire.
"No, we go home."
Niall threw himself over me. We didn't manage to come more than inside the hall and I felt how he pushed me down on the floor. I felt his lips that almost took over my whole existence. I pressed me up against him. Niall quickly pulled down his fly and he got off his pants, he sat up between my legs and pulled off my too. As soon as we were without clothes on our lower part, he threw himself over me again. Niall penetrated, almost desperate. I moaned and I threw back my head. Damn, we were lying on the hall floor and had sex!
"I don't want to lose you."
Nialls voice sounded foggy and cloudy. I opened my eyes and I looked at him. We stopped up and he lay still on top of me.
"You'll not lose me now!" I said quickly. "I didn't want to lose you either."
He smiled and he slowly began to move his hips against me again. Quickly he increased his pace.
"You are mine!"
"It's, rather, you who's mine."
He laughed and he whimpered. I felt how he unbuckled the body.
"No, I own you."
"No Niall, I own you."
"When we're done here, we'll discuss that question?"
I nodded. I forced him to spin around and I landed on top of Niall. I put a hand on each side of his head and I started to ride him. Sometime I could get to take control? It was only right!
Afterwards, I lay on him, and I hid my face against his neck. I felt his breathing was fast and I knew he was tired.
"You're unbelievable!" he whispered hoarsely. "You are everything a guy needs."
"Thank you!" I replied cheerfully. "It was the first time I did that."
He hugged me tightly.
"I couldn't imagine that." he said teasingly. "That you were a cat?"
I blushed and I laughed.
"Stop Niall. Let me get used to the new me before you start talking about what I am."
He laughed and he kissed me on the cheek.
"Okay, but I was impressed."
I hit teasingly him.
"Change the subject!"
"Okay, I own you!"