I woke up, I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to continue to dream because my life was like in a dream. I saw Nialls face in front of me and I tried to erase the thought of him. My feelings were like one big hurricane and I couldn't even know if I wanted to laugh or cry. This morning I got up, showered, ate breakfast, and then I had no time to do more. I hurried to work and immediately I noticed that there was much to do. In a way, it was nice that I was busy. I didn't have to feel anything and I didn't need to think.
"How was he?"
I spun around and Andy was behind me. He smiled big and I noted that he was curious.
I blushed and he understood that Niall was more than good.
"Did he kissed you?"
I shook my head. There was no idea to lie to him and he always saw when I was lying.
"So what did you do?"
Very briefly I explained what happened on Friday. I even told him that we skated and I happened to mention Sunday.
"Thus he's hooked on to capture you." exclaimed Andy and he patted delighted with his hands. "He's in love with you Jenny and you are stupid if you let him go. I see at you that you are very fond of him."
"Andy quit. We are friends and nothing else."
"You have something going on. I see at you that this is something more, something big, and you can't lie to me."
I sighed and I felt a little misunderstood. I didn't want to be the girl who was hoping for a lot. Okay that Niall had called me his girlfriend in front of my friends, but it was certainly not something that I should take seriously.
"You have to make sure he stays." Andy continued. "We have to show that you are the woman in his life and that he can't be without you."
I snorted. I frowned and I just stared at him.
"This isn't a love story where I'm not going to prove anything. If he doesn't want me as I am, he can go."
"Come on girl and admit it."
"Yes, I might be a little interested in him, but I'm not looking for a relationship."
Okay! It was precisely in that moment I felt a lump in my stomach. Honestly, I was too interested in Niall. I wanted to be his girlfriend seriously and I wanted all the things that girlfriends had. Yet it was just a dream. I couldn't live on dreams and I was always careful to stand with both feet on the ground.
"You are in love!" Andy snorted. It started to come customers into the store and we had to finish what we talked about. Partly, I was relieved, but at the same time had many thoughts come to life.
When I got home, I was quick to place the laptop on the table and I quickly checked for if Niall was on Skype. He wasn't and I was almost disappointed. I felt nervous, I was restless and I actually missed him. I chose to go to twitter and immediately saw I was Niall had written.
//With the right person, taste a pizza perfect//
I blushed. With the right person? I saw that he had written it on Sunday night and I knew it was me he was talking about. A fan had asked what pizza he had eaten. I smiled, because I knew. I couldn't stop feeling butterflies in my stomach. Lots of girls wrote to him, but it was with me he had spent the weekend together with.
There was a knock on the door and when I opened it, I saw directly Niall. He just stared at me with his blue eyes and I had no idea what I would say.
"Hey!" he whispered. I smiled a little bit and I let him get into the apartment. I had just time to close the door, then he threw himself over me and he hugged me tight. I chose to answer the hug and I had nothing against it.
"I missed you." he muttered hoarsely in my ear. I smiled. I had missed him, and it felt wonderful that he was with me.
"I missed you." I whispered. I wanted to be honest and I wanted to make him to understand that he could do whatever he wanted with me. He hugged me for long and it felt like we didn't know what we would do.
Niall ended the hug. I noticed that he blushed and he seemed almost unsure. He took off his jacket and he avoided my eyes.
"I just got home from work."
He smiled and then he went into my room. I followed. He seemed almost absent, and it was as if he had no idea why he had come to my apartment. Right as it was he spun around and he looked at me again.
"You're still with me on Friday?"
I nodded and I laughed a little bit.
"Are you afraid I'll back off?" I asked. "Niall, I'm not such a girl who says yes and then no."
He smiled a little bit and he nodded.
"I know but I just wanted to be sure you don't forget."
It felt like he was more uncertain than me. It was a reversal roles, and I didn't know how I would handle it. Why was he nervous? Maybe he had feelings for me?
"Is it an important party?" I had to ask. Niall shook his head quickly and he looked down at the floor.
"It would just be nice if you wanted to be with me. There's not a particular party, but I want you to be with me there." He blushed. "I might have told the others about you and the others want to meet you."
Okay! Niall had talked about me to his friends? I liked the feelings that wandered around my body. There was also a tension between us. It was as if we both felt the same thing, but none of us took the first step.
"It will be great to meet your friends." I said. Niall smiled and he looked at me. He seemed to think for a few seconds.
"I usually don't bring girls to parties." he mumbled. "You know, I'm always the one who walks alone. Sometimes it feels okay and sometimes I miss the feeling of having someone by my side."
I understood him. I felt the same thing. It was easier to be single, but at the same time I could be jealous of girls who had a boy beside them.
He nodded a little bit and then he sat down on the sofa.
"Harry and I are the ones who always seem to remain single." he swallowed. "It's like I don't dare to trust girls."
I chose to sit down next to him. Maybe he just wanted to talk to me so that I would understand. The only question was what it was I would understand? Maybe he wanted to tell me that I couldn't expect anything other than friendship? The thought made me almost sad. Still, I gathered my emotions together and I decided to face the truth. I was a dreamer and he saw me as a friend.
"When you have my profession, it's difficult to see who see me as Niall, the usual Niall." he continued almost dreamy, and he looked down at his hands. "I try to trust people, but many times I have been deceived." He looked at me and it was as if he wanted to say something else, but he didn't get the right words out.
"I understand!" I whispered. "I've seen online what fans write to you and I understand that you don't trust some."
He smiled a little bit. He continued to look at me.
"Jenny, you didn't know who I was when I met you?"
"I know and I feel almost like an idiot because of it."
He quickly shook his head and he smiled reassuring.
"No, I was glad that you weren't a fan."
I swallowed. Okay, this conversation was heading in a different direction?
"That's why I did the crazy thing to contact you." His smile grew calmer and he didn't ponder anymore. "And I'm glad that I contacted you." he lifted his hand and he stroked my cheek. "I'm glad that you aren't like my fans, you see the idiot that I am."
"You're not an idiot?"
He laughed and he took his hand away.
"Well, I'm a crazy fool." He gulped. "I don't dare to even recognize things for you and I don't dare to open me up completely for you."
I knew he didn't like to talk about everything, but I respected that.
"It's okay Niall."
He shook his head and he became a little more serious.
"No, it's not okay." he whispered. Again he raised his hand. He let his fingers caress my cheek, my jaw line, and he followed the hand with is eyes. "I want to trust you and I want you to trust me."
I swallowed. I felt his hand caused the damage. I blushed and I become a big lump of jelly.
"I trust you?"
It happened! Niall took a finger under my chin and then he leaned toward me. Our lips met and he kissed me lightly.
"I trust you." he muttered hoarsely, and then he let our lips meet again. This time he kissed me fumble, and I answered it. I closed my eyes and I heard Niall groaned. He seemed to gather courage and soon developed the kiss to something more. We didn't use our tongue, yet it was as if my body ended up in another state. I was only aware of his wonderful hot lips and I was only aware that he existed. It was as if we ended up in a bubble and no one else in the world could come into the bubble.
Niall ended the kiss and when I opened my eyes I saw that he smiled with his whole face. He had got red cheeks and he looked almost happy.
"You know that you affect me?" he whispered. I nodded. I didn't want to lie. I felt it all over and it was as if I had received some answers to all my doubts.
"You control me." I replied hoarsely. He nodded and he seemed almost pleased by the outcome of the kiss.
"I hope so." he mumbled. "I was hoping you felt something for me, but I wasn't sure."
"Are you sure now?"
He shook his head, and he laughed quietly.
"No, I'm anything but sure."
"But you affect me and I think of you all the time." I whispered quickly. I wanted him to understand. I wanted him to know. I wanted so much, and for the moment I wanted to tell him all.
"How about trying?" he asked, and he smiled big. "We can always try to get to know each other and maybe we can...." he paused. I saw that he blushed even more and I saw at him that he wasn't sure. This wasn't something he normally talk about, and I was just a coward like him.
"Being a couple?" I asked only because we would get somewhere in the conversation. Niall nodded and he swallowed.
"Girlfriend and boyfriend?"
"It sounds like a good idea."
"But we don't need to tell the rest of the world, not yet?"
He didn't had to explain. I knew why he said that to me. He was known in the world and he didn't want that the tabloids would snatch this up.
"My mom?" I asked. Niall laughed a little bit and he nodded.
"Yes, your mom must surely get to know that you meet an Irishman?"
Talk about that, we were both novices. It felt as if we tested our way and we had no idea how the other couples did. We both lacked experience and maybe even Niall had just had short relationships? I didn't want to know anything about his ex-girlfriends, but nonetheless I was curious.
"It was a long time ago I had a boyfriend." I said. "My last boyfriend said I was too uncertain for him."
Niall didn't seemed to understand.
"I believe that there's nothing wrong with you." he whispered. "But I'm glad that your ex-boyfriend didn't see you through my eyes."
He laughed a little bit.
"I'm glad he let you free, because otherwise I wouldn't have any chance on you."
Okay, I blushed even more and I could feel my head was spinning around.
"I'm glad that you feel that way."
Again he kissed me, and this time he was more sure of what he would do. I felt my lips exploded against his lips. I felt his arms slid around my waist and I took my arms around his neck.
It's often said that the first kiss is something special, but I have to admit that our second kiss was the one that I would remember forever. The world stood still and I couldn't get enough of him. My body wanted more and I loved the feeling to know that he wanted me. It just spun around in my head and I felt just so excited for the future. Niall was the answer to everything. If someone had asked me, "How are you today?" I immediately answered: "Niall!"
I eventually landed on my back of the sofa. Niall lay on top of me and we couldn't stop kissing each other. Nothing else happened. He didn't try to go further and he didn't stroked me on the parts that normal guys wanted to get to. It was just a wonderful kiss. He kissed me with all his mind, and he gave me what I wanted.
Finally finished Niall our kiss. He took his elbows on either side of my head and he looked straight at me.
"Are you hungry?"
I gasped. Talk about that, he changed the subject! I was totally into kisses and he thought about food? I've had my arms around his body and I tried to think of something to say. Was I hungry? Yes, I was hungry for him.
Niall nodded and he smiled big.
I was grinning.
"Are you saying that we should go out and eat food?"
Niall nodded again and he laughed a little bit.
"I want actually food now. I want to have with me my girlfriend to Nandos and I guess your my girlfriend?"
"Okay, then your girlfriend saying yes and she wants to follows happy with you to Nandos."
My boyfriend? Niall was my boyfriend and I couldn't stop thinking about that part. Niall ate food and he talked about everything else. I was dreaming and just stared at him. I loved everything he did. I wanted to see every breath he took, and I wanted to learn all his gestures by heart. He was like a drug. I was drugged by him.
"You know what this means?" asked Niall right as it was. I woke up and I looked at him.
"You mean this with us or the food?"
He laughed a little bit and his eyes flashed.
"This between us."
"I guess I know what it means." I mumbled quickly, but the truth was that I had no idea what he was referring to. "I can't tell a single person about you, more than my family?"
"No, and yes...." he smiled. "I just mean that I want my private life private and I hope you respect that?"
"And I promise not to tell one person that you are the world's best kisser."
I gasped. Did I really say those words? I blushed and I saw at him that he was amused.
"So I'm so good at kissing?"
I had to nod and then I put in more food in my mouth. Damn I really said those words?
"It's okay!" Niall whispered, and he laughed a little bit. "I just want to be sure that you don't write on Twitter about private things."
Okay, I understand.
"I know!" I mumbled after I had swallowed down the food. "Niall you don't need to explain, and I promise."
He smiled at me. It was a smile that told me that he trusted me. He really trusted me.
"And another thing Jenny."
I looked at him.
"You're not so bad at kissing either. Actually you are the only girl who really knows how to kiss me."
In the evening I called home, via Skype. I wanted to talk to someone about Niall and I had so many emotions in my body.
"Is he nice?" asked mom. I didn't dare to mention that Niall was in a world famous band. I didn't want to talk about the details yet.
"Yes, he's wonderful."
"Then maybe you can invite him here for Christmas?"
I sighed. She knew I didn't have the money to go home and I didn't want to take advantage of Nialls money.
She seemed curious.
"What he's working with?"
Okay, I didn't know what to say. I simply had to come up with a white lie.
"He making songs, play music and such stuff. He earns good money, so he's not one of those guy that many are at home."
She frowned and I knew why. In Sweden, there were guys who lived on welfare and who thought they'd be a big stars one day. Their lives ended in boredom and often became the alcoholics.
"He's a good guy." I said quickly. "He makes money and he's well off."
"Well, I trust you." she said. "But don't let him fool you, if he begs for money."
"Mom, I promise he don't want to have my money."
She sighed again a little resignedly.
"You're old enough to take your own responsibility, so I trust you. Take care of yourself, just so he doesn't use you. He might just want one thing."
She was referring to sex and I almost laughed higher.
"Stop mom." I had to squeeze out of me. "He's certainly not such a guy and I trust him."
I couldn't nearly fall asleep that night. I could still feel Nialls lips against mine and it tingled all over. I wished I could move my body fast to his home and unnoticed just stay in a corner and peeked at what he did. Niall took over my mind and all I could feel was him.