7. Chapter 6
Foggy darkness flings me out of its grip, away from the memories. I realize that the ending note of Linkin Park’s “Breaking the Habit” are echoing in my ears. That’s weird because I remember listening to “Gone” by Pearl Jam a few seconds a go. I must have fallen asleep. I shake off the fragments of the memory that plagued me
(you can’t escape a memory)
and slowly sit up. I can hear my dad’s footsteps, slow and heavy, receding down the hallway. I glance at my clock. I was out for twenty minutes. That’s a record for me, the queen of No-Nap-Land. I jump as Linkin Park’s “Don’t Stay” suddenly blasts into my ears. Wincing, I turn the volume down so my ears don’t explode and bleed. If I keep listening to loud music like this, I’ll lose an eardrum. I’ll stumble down the street, constantly losing my balance. People will think I’m drunk and veer away. I stumble to a cliff, and then I’ll fall off. I’ll smile as I fall because I’m flying, I’m free.
Then I’ll hit the ground and I won’t be anything more than a shattered doll. These are thoughts that come from having a monster in my head.
I crank my music back up and wonder if I can fall asleep again. I close my eyes, but Sleep laughs and shoves me back into reality. I keep my eyes closed. Maybe I don’t have to sleep to run away like the girl in the Coldplay song “Paradise”. I don’t have to sleep to dream away what’s real. Then I remember that it’s Friday. I don’t think “TGIF”. Instead, I think “OSIF”. Oh, Shit, It’s Friday.