I am terrified. I think I might be sweating... He stops playing the song. He holds my trebling hand. "Alana... Are you ok?" I am so bad at lying. "Yes I am." I don't let my voice shake. I end up speaking in a low-ish voice. "Well um I've forgiven you, and I would like it if..." No please don't say it! DON'T SAY IT! "...if we could get back together." He said it. Wow I really am in deep shit. Well fuck. What am I supposed to say? No? Yes? I'll tell you later? No I can't say I'll tell you later. Do I like Luke or Ashton? I stand up and Ashton does the same. "Ashton." I say. "Alana." He replies. He starts to smile. I try to keep a straight face, but I just can't. "So what's the answer?" He asks. Yep and now I'm not smiling again. I think about all my good times with Ashton. I remember when I first saw him. He is actually so adorable- but Luke is like... like... daaaayyyuum. I get overwhelmed by how hard of a decision this is. "Alana?" Ugh fuck it. I jump in his arms and just make out with him. I wrap my arms around his neck while he holds my legs up, off of the floor. We stop kissing and he puts me down. "So... I'm guessing the answer is yes?" He laughs. I smile and just as I'm about to say something, I look to my left. Luke is staring directly at me. He looks completely broken.
Exactly what I was afraid of. Some how I'm sort of disappointed in Alana. I thought she wouldn't be so weak. I know she's the one. I hope she'll figure it out soon. I make eye contact with her. She knows I saw her. As soon as Ashton came a long, I knew my connection with Alana was in danger. I shouldn't have left. Alana runs my way with Ashton close behind her. "Alana..." I start to talk. "Alana, what's going on?" Ashton asks. Alana looks at Ashton, and then at me. "What's it gonna be?" Ashton gets a confused look on his face. "Are you guys-" Alana cuts Ashton off. "No we're not. Well we are but it's like- IT WAS ONE DATE." Alana storms off. She doesn't seem mad, just very stressed. After watching Alana leave, Ashton and I look back at each other. We're mad at each other; that's for sure. Ashton comes closer to me and gives me an aggressive shove. "Luke get the fuck over her! Just because you got her to have sex with you, doesn't mean she likes you!" I roll my eyes. "Back off Ashton."
"And what if I don't? What ya gonna do about it?!" He shoves me again. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT THE FUCK I'LL DO ABOUT IT." I step in and punch him right in the face. He looks back up at me while holding his right cheek. "Wow, Luke Hemmings. I thought you would've been taught that if you hit someone, they'll hit you back harder." He grabs me by the shoulder and bitchslaps me so fucking hard. I slowly raise my hand to feel the blood streaming out of my lip. This caught a lot of people's attention around us. They stared in shock. Ashton had his eyes narrowed at me. He looked ready for anything. But then it hit me. What's every boy's weakness? Getting kicked in the balls! I go for the nutshot, and succeed. He grips himself by the balls and collapses to the ground. I could see his pain through his facial expression. It felt good to get that out of my system. "It's Alana's decision!! Not yours!!" I yell at him. I leave him on the floor just like that.
I can't believe he just kicked me in the fucking balls. He just fucking kicked me in the balls that dick. (My friend added that last sentence lol) Oh my god people are staring. Luke just walks away. I force myself to get off of the floor. I kind of stand with my legs stuck together. My nuts feel like they are going to fall off of my body. He has actually destroyed my whole penis. I try to walk normally, but I end up kinda waddling away to find Alana. I am in so much pain, I actually want to cry. I change my mind. Alana can't see me like this. I go into a bathroom stall. I unzip my pants to check. It's kind of purple. I'm surprised that it's not bleeding. It feels like he has just constantly stabbed me between the legs. I need to get back at Luke for this. Then I remember: We have band practise tonight. How am I going to face Luke without trying to harm him? And that's just it- I'm not. I'll probably lose it and completely end up on the floor pulling his hair. And all this, over one girl.
"Hey! Ashton!" Michael yells when I arrive at his house. Calum isn't here yet... but Luke is. I was hoping he wouldn't be. I wanted to show up before him. Straight away Luke and I are giving each other death stares. "Um... guys? You alright?" Michael asks. "Yeah, we're fine." Luke replies not breaking eye contact with me. Soon Calum comes and we start band practise. I hate hearing Luke sing now. He's the lead vocalist so it's complete torture for me. At least I have the drums to take my anger out on. I mean, who the fuck does Luke think he is? Climbing all up in yo window, snatching up your girlfriend. I do seem to be drumming harder than usual. I am just so fucking mad at him; I just want to... I don't even know. While Luke is singing he just stops. "I'm sorry. Stop, stop. I can't do this. Ashton, I need to speak to you alone." Calum and Michael look at each other. They have no idea what's going on. Luke pulls me by the arm and leads me into a hallway next to the garage. Luke doesn't say anything so I just start talking. "Luke what do you want."
"I want you to leave Alana alone."
"The fuck?" HE WANTS ME TO FUCKING LEAVE ALANA ALONE? UM, YEAH NO. "I'm serious. She told me that she wants to get over you."
"Sooo... she's not actually over me then."
"Well- no, but she will be."
"Did you SEE the way she kissed me today?"
"That kiss meant nothing." Luke protests. "How would you know?" I narrow my eyes. "Well she smiled for a little bit... but straight after she thought of me. She looked my way, and her mood just dropped." Maybe he has a point. "Luke, she's just confused."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that she just doesn't who to choose. Let's be honest." Luke looks down and nods. "I guess you're right, Ashton."