So now I'm stuck here. I can't choose between Ashton and Luke. And what if Ashton doesn't take me back? I tear up at the thought of it. Ashton hates me now; but can I trust Luke? He seems like some sort of player, the way he knew I was seeing someone but still let me cheat on Ashton with him. I can't help but think that one way or another, Ashton will forgive me. I can just feel it in my heart.
I sit in the library, waiting for Mali. She asked me to meet her there. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Mali smiling at me. She sits beside me. "Ashton, we need to talk about Alana." At this point I don't really care. I just nod. "Great, I'm glad you agree." She grins "So I know the whole story of how she 'cheated' on you or whatever." She says "If you had let her explain you would know it wasn't her fault."
"How so?" I say raising my eyebrows. "It was Luke's fault, you see, he persuaded her. The first time he tried to get with her she pushed him away."
"There was a FIRST time?!" I slightly yell. Mali nods. "She didn't want to do it, is what she told me, but then she just couldn't take it. Luke wouldn't let her leave. I would've done the same... wouldn't be proud of it, but still would have done the same." She explains. "Really? You're not lying?" I ask "Nope. Alana isn't guilty, trust me." This makes me smile. I can freely love Alana again. Suddenly this makes me hate Luke more. I just didn't know he could be such a dick. I want to beat him up. And then I realise, if I love Alana this much, and now I've forgiven her, then she's the one. She's always been the one. I feel a warm feeling on the inside.
I need Alana to love me. I need her to say yes. And at this rate, I don't know if I can get her to love me. She's probably never going to get over Ashton. It breaks my heart. Without noticing, I bite my tongue. I quietly sing to myself while writing 'Alana' on my arm with my finger over and over. Suddenly I hear Alana's voice behind me lifting my spirit dramatically. "Luke! Luke!" She calls out. She sits beside me putting her hand on my lap. "Hey Luke, I decided that I'm going to work on getting over Ashton. I can't love two boys at once. You make me happy, Luke. Besides, Ashton hates me now." I can't help but smile when she says this. Alana gives me this amazing feeling I can't ignore. "So will you be my girlfriend then?" Alana shakes her head. "No. I'm not over Ashton yet." My hopes smash. How is she going to get over Ashton? "Well then, let's go on a date." I say slightly demandingly. She nods her head and grins. "Ok pick you up at seven tonight." I say. "Haha ok." She giggles nervously. Maybe telling her instead of asking her is making her see me as a 'Bad boy'. Yeah, bitches love bad boys. I quickly run my fingers through her hair before I leave. Getting her over Ashton is gonna be easy.
I get ready for my date with Luke. I pull my hair up into a high pony tail. I wear my peachy lipgloss and some mascara. I'm not the kinda girl who wears all too much make up; I like to keep it sorta natural. I wear my light blue denim jacket and a tight red top. I wear a short black skirt. I don't know what shoes to wear- high heels. Wait would they make me taller than Luke? Oh who am I kidding? Luke is so tall; he'd probably still tower me if I wore 6 inch heels. I pull on my red nike high heels. (yes they exist if you didn't know.) I grab my white purse. I'm ready. I hear a car honk outside. That's Luke fo sho. (I did just do that) I try to sprint, but can only pull off a jog in these heels. I get in his car. "Hey, you look sexy." He says straight away. I look him up and down. He doesn't look so bad himself. He's wearing black jeans, (obvi) dark grey converse and a short sleeved shirt that um... shows off his amazing arms. "Yeah um... Hi." I say. I'm kinda nervous. This is our first date. I don't even know if I can trust Luke. Will he abuse me? I don't know. Will he break my heart? I don't know. Will he kip nap me? I don't know. Will he rape me? Probably. I just smile and try to seem confident. He sure seems confident. He starts to drive. "Hey, Luke? Where are we going?" I question. Luke shrugs. "Dunno." He replies. This sort of is unsettling. After a bit, he stops the car. "C'mon, we're gonna hang out here." I climb out of the car. We've stopped at a skate park. I guess this could be kinda romantic... Luke puts one arm around me and we go sit on a bench. "Alana, you might as well go out with me. We both know you're going to get over Ashton one way or another." I shrug "I don't know Luke. This date is kinda just a way to get Ashton off my mind. I can't be your girlfriend yet. It doesn't feel right." Luke narrows his eyes as if he's trying to come up with a plan. He wraps his other arm around me and pulls me in closer.
I have to get Alana on my side. I love her. More than she'll ever know. She looks up at me. "Luke? Why did you get me to cheat on Ashton?" She asks. My mind freezes. I don't know what to say. "Alana- I have no idea what was going through my mind when that happened. I guess I was... uh... sorta taken over by another personality." Alana nods and looks back down. "Alana... I'm sorry."
"It's fine." She holds on to me tight and smiles. I have no idea what to say. Maybe I shouldn't say anything. I keep her wrapped in my arms. It's an amazing feeling.
Tomorrow I'm going to tell Alana that I've forgiven her. I really want her to be mine again. I let out a sigh. I don't know if she'll want me again. I tap on the floor while singing.
I'm coming because I need to find you
Is anybody there
Who can rescue
Somebody like me?
Cuz I'm just waiting
For somebody like you
Somebody like you
Without you I'm a lost boy
I pull out a guitar and strum.
I can't remember the last time I saw your face
I feel so lonely when I'm in a crowded space
You left me without direction
Cuz I've been from place to place
Trying to bring you back
I've walked for days and days
Cuz I can't face the fact
That nothing is better than you
You know what? I'm going to sing her lost boy tomorrow.
I see Alana talking to Luke. I have my guitar in my hands. I hope this works. I have had a lot more practice with the drums than the guitar. I approach Alana by tapping her on the back. "Ashton?!" Alana has a surprised look on her face. Luke glares at me. "Alana it's not your fault." Alana looked as if she had just seen a ghost. I motion for Luke to leave. He rolls his eyes and slowly walks away. "Can we sit? I've got a song for you." I say "Ah- sure! Sure!" She runs over to a bench. I follow her. I start to play guitar and sing. Though she was smiling, a look of stress didn't seem to leave her face.
Without you I'm a lost boy
Without you I'm a lost boy
Come find me I'm a lost boy
Cuz without you I'm a lost boy