I had a concert type thing at France’s favorite karaoke bar and I sang the song “Oh No You Didn’t” By the Wojahn Brothers. It goes like this:
“Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Yo, yo, yo! Oh no you didn’t! Sucka tried to play me But you never payed me, never! Oh no you didn’t! Payback is a coming, You will be running forever! Oh no you didn’t! Till i get my vengeance, I will never end this mayhem! Oh No you didn’t! I'm a mercenary, You ain't gotta prayer you owe me! Oh no you didn’t! Oh no you didn’t! Oh no you didn’t! Oh no you didn’t! Oh no you didn’t! Didn't you oh no, You didn't pay me what you owe me, So now its over for you! papapapapapapapapapapapapapa. Yeah! papapapapapapapapapapapapapa. Yo yo, check it out! Oh no you didn’t!
First you tried to trap me, Then you bust a cap in my ass! Oh No you didn’t! Such humiliation, Would bring annihilation at last Oh no you didn’t! It will be delicious, When I get vicious tomorrow! Oh no you didn’t! There’s no second chances, You will do the dance of sorrow! Oh no you didn’t! Oh no you didn’t! Oh no you didn’t! Oh no you didn't! Oh no you didn’t! Didn’t you oh no, You didn't pay me what you owe me, So now it’s over for you! Papapapapapapapapapapa. What a fool! Papapapapapapapapa. alright come on!
Oh no you didn’t! Better watch your back boy! Keep running! This aint just a game, I’ll never stop coming, I got my arsenal, I put out the call. And when I finish y'all, Your be a rag doll.
After that Francis came over to the stage and caught me in a trust fall. He said to me, “Your voice is amazing it really is, but is that really the type of music you listen to?
“Yes, the Wojahn Brothers and Nightcore all the way.”
As we were walking out, I bumped into someone whom at first I didn’t recognize, but after he made this grunting sound after hitting the ground, I recognized it as Derick.
“Derick, pleasant surprise, I thought I told you to leave.”
“You did, but you are no longer my girlfriend therefore I do NOT have to listen to you.”
“OH NO YOU DIDN’T! Well, as long as you’re here, I might as well sing the last verse.” Francis’ eyes grew wide and he started signalling for me not to do it, I started off again,
“Fool you tried to diss me now you’re gonna wish you were dead! OH NO YOU DIDN’T! After I deliver, your blood will be a river of red.” I give Derick the creepiest face ever and that makes even Francis start to back away.
“OH NO YOU DIDN’T! Better be aware when there’s no one there to defend you! OH NO YOU DIDN’T! So many ways to kill it’s going to be a thrill to end you! OH NO YOU DIDN’T! OH NO YOU DIDN’T! OH NO YOU DIDN’T! OH NO YOU DIDN’T! DIDN’T YOU OH NO! You didn’t pay me what you owe me, so now it’s OVER FOR YOU! OH NO! OH NO! OH NO YOU D---” I sang, followed by an explosion noise that causes Derick to fall backward and myself to start giggling.
“Zara, yeah I don’t think this is going to work…”
“What do you mean this isn’t going to work, I thought you loved me Francis…”
“It’s just… you’re CRAZY.”
In that moment, I punch Derick with a K.O. punch, and spin around, tilt my head to one side and say, “What did you just say??” with my best AJ Lee impersonation.
“You are--- you need help.”
“It’s because of him isn’t it?” I say pointing down at Derick
“No, it’s just…”
“DON’T LIE TO ME!” I slap Francis in the face, “If you don’t like crazy, maybe we weren’t meant to be!”
Derick sits up, “Look on the bright side, you still have me.”
“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.” After that I went on a rampage threw Francis across the room, and continually nailed Derick in the face. Eventually, this young blonde dude pulled me off which calmed me right away and his scarf was so soft, it was like laying on a cloud. He was so attractive, but I was not going to have my heart broken again. As I turned around, I knew who it was, it was Ivan Braginsky, in other words, Russia. His eyes, a beautiful shade of blue, connected to mine. In that instant, my heart fluttered and I knew, no matter how crazy I am, he will accept me. He looked at me and said, “успокойтесь , Zara.” Somehow I understood he said “Calm down, Zara” I don’t know how I understood Russian or how he knew my name but it amazed me.
“How do you know my name? I’m calm.” He seemed to understand me and nodded.
“I heard your argument, and therefore gathered the information I needed to calm you down.”
“Ivan,” I started to sob, “Do you think I’m crazy?” I started to curl up closer to him
“No, I don’t, remember people may think you’re crazy, all you have to do is imagine them with bullet holes in their chest and pipe indents in their heads.”
I started to giggle, I had no idea how to respond other than with laughter.
“Would you care for some vodka?”
“That would be excellent.”
We left the bar that night when Ivan brought up an awkward question, “How would you like to--uh-- court me?”
“Get married? Um… Let me think about it a while, I’m probably dead ass drunk, if you know what I mean, and if you don’t, I’m probably not thinking rationally right now.”
“That’s ok, should I wait and come back tomorrow? When you’re not… wasted.” He smiles
“Yes, I would love it if you would do so.”
He came back the next morning with a smile on his face and knocked on my door. I quickly ran to my closet and found this beautiful combination of a white dress, a black necklace, and some nice shoes.
He looked at me as I opened the door, still smiling except his smile got bigger. There he got down on one knee and he asked me, “Is your thinking rational again?”
“Yes, I think so. I thought about it and I say yes.” He got up and hugged me tight. After, he pulled this pink box out of his pocket slipped this beautiful ring on my finger and we went out to celebrate.