I watched Zara and this Ivan dude beat this Cole guy to a bloody pulp. I can take this on a good day, even an okay day, but today is just a very confusing day.
“Hey, Zarrie?” I say softly. She turns to me, and gasps, putting a hand up to her mouth.
“Oh my god, I forgot you were here! I didn’t mean to scare you if I did! I’m sorry!”
“Huh? Oh, no it’s not that. Hun, where I work, I’ve seen injuries and violence twice as bad as that. Besides, I already knew you liked to wrestle, and I’ve watched you beat people up before. It’s just… I’m really confused.” I say, rubbing my eyes.
“About what?” The Russian guy says.
“About...about everything!” I say. “Where are we? Why is everything in anime style? Who are you and the dude on the ground? What happened while I was away? Zara, why do you look different? Who’s Julie? And most important, Zara.” I say looking at my best friend. She already knows what I’m going to say. “Why are you drinking?” I ask.
“It’s kind of hard to explain. You see, I went on my trip to Ukraine, remember?” Zara starts.
“Of course I do, you were psyched.” I say, crossing my arms.
“Well, I went there, and on the plane ride, I meet a girl named Julie. She’s fifteen, and from Michigan.
I raise my eyebrows. “Michigan?”
“Yeah. Anyway, she stayed with me and…we partied. And got drunk. And I hooked up with a guy named Derick.”
“No, like, Derrick. Anyway, we came back, and she snuck off the trip at the stop at Georgia.”
“You WHAT?!” I ask. “She’s fifteen, Zar! Fifteen! 1-5. You could be charged with kidnapping!”
“I know, I know. Anyway, we went to my room, and opened the door that was in my closet, the thing you fell into. We were sucked here. It’s the Hetalia universe. Hetalia is-”
“An anime that personifies the countries of the world as people.” I finish.
Her eyes widen. “You watch..?”
I scoff. “Hell no. I’ve heard about it. It shows up on my Tumblr dashboard often enough.”
“Oh. Alright. Well, Julie watches it. And we were sucked here. I guessed the multiverse theory is true. How much do I owe you?”
“Twenty bucks, but that’s not important right now.” I say. “Continue.”
“Well, we were sucked here. We met some of the characters. I went out with France, then Derick came and messed everything up. Turns out he came with Cole, who interrupted Julie and England’s relationship, but he was apparently just using her to get close to me as my stalker? I don’t get it either. But anyway, after France broke up with me, which was a month after Ju and I got here, Ivan and I got engaged.”
“EXCUSE ME?”I ask. “YOU GOT ENGAGED AFTER ONLY KNOWING HIM FOR A MONTH? AND YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC? YOU WANT TO LAY ANYTHING ELSE ON ME? DO YOU ONLY HAVE TWO DAYS TO LIVE OR SOMETHING?!” I shout. She flinches, and I suddenly feel mean. But before I can apologize, Russia speaks up.
“Who are you to yell at my wife?” He says, stepping in front of her.
“Her best friend, that’s who.” I say crossing my arms. “And as such, it is my job to help her fix her mistakes.”
“Mistakes?” Zara says from behind him. “Mich, are you saying our engagement is a mistake?”
“Not the engagement persay, but-”
“And as her fiance, it is my job to support her and her right to make decisions. As a sixteen year old girl, she knows how to make her own choices.” Ivan says, drawing my attention back to him.
“Oh, so you do know she’s sixteen.” I say, crossing my arms. “And even though someone can make decisions, doesn’t always mean they make good ones. I’ve known Zara for the last six years of our lives. I know first hand that she isn’t the best at making decisions.”
“Sixteen is a legal wedding age in my country.” He says, eyes narrowing.
I throw my arms up in the air. “Good for Russia! That doesn’t change the problem at hand!”
“That Russia and I are getting married after only a month of knowing each other?” Zar says, wrapping her arms around Russia’s arm, instantly disarming him.
“What? No! I don’t care about that! I’m sure you two are perfect for each other, and you’ll be perfectly happy together in your marriage. The problem is, ZAR. YOU. ARE. AN. ALCOHOLIC. AT. SIXTEEN.”
“I’m here, what did I miss?” A voice says from behind me. I turn around, and see a sweet-looking fifteen year old girl. Her eyes go wide when she sees me. “Who, THE HELL, are you?”
“I’m Michelle, Zara’s best friend. Who the hell are you?”
“I’M Julie, Zara’s best friend.” She says glaring at me a bit.
“Oh. Well that makes this awkward.” I say after a tense moment.