“There are six things the LORD hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.“
7 Deadly Sins
The Seven Deadly Sins are, in a simple way to say them, Pride, Wrath, Envy, Lust, Greed, Gluttony and Sloth.
Those are my Internal conflicts. In a Southern Baptist society, having those Sins makes you an outcast. I’ve lived in a little bitty town in Georgia where everyone was Christian, the lethal kind of Christian. But when my parents died I moved to Miami and moved in with my sister, Ivy.
She, being the oldest and the first to be cast from our family, welcomed me in open arms. I’ve always held a place in my heart for her. She was always there for me when I was little. Told me that what I was feeling deep in myself was normal. That it was okay to be different. That she will always love me.
I remembered when I discovered these feelings. I never really thought them important until my mother came to me, smacking me upside my head and reciting a proverb to me, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
What she meant was God gives blessing those who are humble and gives nothing to those that are proud.
I was a kid then, barely five; I didn’t understand the whole thing of being prideful until I hit puberty. I was a decent looking kid when I was little but when I grew up I was a bit more handsome than average.
Pride was the first Sin.
And Pride is also the most deadly. Pride was what made Satan fall. I remember as a child I was called, Diablo, or In English, little devil.
The second Sin for me was, “A lying tongue.” I started lying about everything. I wasn’t a compulsive liar, but a liar nonetheless. I lied about my schoolwork, to my girlfriends, to my church, to my parents and finally I lied to myself.
I lied far more to myself than to anyone else. I lied about my feelings for someone else. I lied when I said to my sister, “I’m fine.” I still lie to everyone at school.
Being fake was lying, was it not? Being someone you aren’t is lying. At school, that was the main sin that seemed to show up all the time. Being fake at school was my specialty.
My third Sin for me was, Lust. Lust was an overpowering sensation that seemed to control me. But I was a boy, only of age twelve; I didn’t understand why my body reacted that way.
I didn’t dare ask my parents, or even my sister, her being in Miami, making a business there. So of course, I googled it.
Let’s just say I was glad that I didn’t ask my parents, Especially my father. The birds and the bees weren’t something I’d like to hear from a drunken, piss-pot of a man. No, thank you very much.
Lust and Pride were the biggest problems of my life. Having lustful thoughts in the locker room or even with my girlfriends.
My forth Sin was, Wrath.
Not Wrath against others but Wrath against thy self.
In theory you’re not supposed to hate yourself. You’re not supposed to feel such anger, such loathing, and such desperation to be someone that you’re not.
Well I guess I go against theory, just like I go against what’s right. Why should I be someone I’m not just to benefit someone else? To answer that simply, because that someone else might matter more to you than you do to yourself
Wrath is built up anger, hatred to someone or even to yourself. Everyone has Wrath; it just matters if you let yourself act on those feelings.
Why am I like this?
Why Do I have these feelings that I don’t desire to have?