"There are plenty of ways to raise this child on your own if you are stable enough within your own budget between education and salaries." My doctor said. I sat there on the hospital bed while staring at her blankly, still shocked to find out that I was pregnant. I had no emotion with any words that had slipped from her tongue and out of her mouth. "But there is also the option of adoption for your child and possibly abortion..." She added to the conversation.
I then was snapped back into reality. Abortion? Could I possibly have the guts to kill the only thing I had left of Joey, which I shall remind you, was growing inside of me right at that moment. I know the struggles of taking care of a child while holding an education, a job, while supporting the needs of food, medicine, doctor visits, etc; you name it and it's a struggle. But, this was a piece of Joey that I could keep forever. A piece of both of us into one soon to be beautiful human being.
"No, I will not abort my baby." I said, sternly. It felt pleasing to say my baby. It made me feel good... protective. "I know you're going to think I'm stupid for wanting to keep my child but it's the only thing I'll ever have left of the father. I know he won't be here physically to support us, but I know if he was, he would give every waking moment of his time with our child."
She nodded her head with each desired word, flowing from my tongue and into the thick atmosphere of tension and anxiety. "You should possibly tell your brother about this, Miss. Carlson. It's what's best at this moment and hopefully you both could possibly figure out an outcome to this situation with your child." She got up and left the room, leaving me to dig into my jean pocket, to pull out my phone and call my brother.
Once I told him about my pregnancy, he was quiet... he didn't respond right away; but he finally let out a low sigh before responding with the most encouraging words to ever flow into my ears. "We will work through this together." A flood of relief escaped from my heart. I was so glad to know that he would help me with this and to support me. Honestly, I was expecting to be downed upon or to be scolded for my little mistake, but my child wasn't some 'little mistake'... yet, it sure as hell was a beautiful one.
Months had passed from when I found out I was 3 months pregnant. The almost fully-grown child in my stomach, was a beautiful baby girl. I remembered Joey telling me that when his older sister was due to have her first baby, he wanted her to name it Cara, because he loved the name and how it rolled off of his tongue so easily.
Joey ran his finger along my stomach as I stared up at the ceiling, while on my back. "Do you think we'll ever have a future? You know... marriage, kids, and a big house." I said, while I turned my head so I was looking into his eyes. He continued running his finger along my stomach, while having his head in his hand with his elbow propped up. He smiled a small smile while letting his dimples appear in his cheeks. "From the way things have been going, I see it happening. We are older and almost on our way to graduating high school, which means more responsibility and creating our future life."
I bit my lip while I continued looking into his crystal emerald green eyes. "That includes kids and marriage?" I said, slowly. He looked into my eyes and nodded his head, before leaning his lips down onto mine. After brushing his lips against mine and pulling away, he cupped my face in his hands. "But on one condition Miss. Carlson, you let me name our children." He said, with that perfect smirk. "If it's a girl, Cara Rose Parker and if it's a boy, Andrew Michael Parker. I like both names, especially Cara."
I kept the memory repeating over and over in my head, while letting myself soak up the sound of his voice. He continued telling me why he liked the name 'Cara', but I remembered how I just looked at him, amazed by his handsomeness and how lucky I was.
A knock at the door soon jolted me from my daydream. "Chloe, are you ready?" My brother asked, quietly against my locked door. I stood up and walked in front of my mirror and stood there while gazing at myself. Today was the day that Kevin went to trial for his murder of Joey and rape of me. It amazed me how one person could take two major things away from me. My Joey Parker and my forgotten innocence.
I straightened my coat and brought myself to stand tall. My obvious pregnant belly, showed tremendously through my coat, giving me that 'pregnant glow'. I sighed to myself, wishing that I could disappear into a small ball so I wouldn't have to face the evil that took importance from my life. But, today wasn't the day just to have Kevin being convicted for his unforgivable acts, but to remind me that this was real. Life isn't a fairytale, life isn't something that's perfect, life is just something that's temporary. You learn to love, hate, and care about those in your lifetime.
But, you also learn how to survive.