I felt something cold being pressed against my head. I instantly awoke and sat up in fear. My eyes fixed on Lindsay who had tears falling from her eyes and down her cheeks. She had an ice pack in her hand that was previously on my aching head.I looked around and realized I wasn't at Brendan's house. I was no longer at the party. I was away from Kevin. The walls were pink and I figured I was in Lindsay's room.
"I am so, so, so, sorry Chloe. I didn't think any of this would happen. I am so sorry!" Lindsay said. She was talking about the party, obviously... and I'm assuming she knew about what Kevin did to me. I didn't say anything, I just sat there and stared at her. "I was looking for you at the party and I went upstairs figuring you were in the bathroom throwing up, but I saw Kevin leaving with barely his pants pulled around his waist... and I walked in the room and I saw you on the bed, passed out and naked, bleeding from your head-..." She stopped talking right then. She wouldn't look into my eyes while talking to me.
"I have to go." I said. I stood up and pain shot through my body as I moved my legs. He hurt me, last night. He didn't think about how much physical pain or scarring he could have left on my body. He wasn't too drunk last night and I knew he was sober enough to know what he was doing was wrong.
"You cannot tell anyone about this, Lindsay. Do you understand me? I don't want anybody to know!" I yelled. She looked at me horrified. "You need to tell the police! You can't let him get away with this!" This made me angry. I didn't want anybody getting involved. I didn't want anybody knowing or trying to help. False rumors will be made and it will be even harder for him to be convicted for what he did to me. "If you tell anybody about this without my permission, I won't ever forgive you. Do you understand me! I mean this!" I was really yelling right now. She nodded her head in fear.
I slowly made my way to the door before leaving. I stopped myself and turned around to look at her. I said one more final thing before I left. "How did you know?" I asked. She looked at me confused. "Know what?" I stiffened my body. "How did you know his name was Kevin?"
"Chloe... he goes to our school."
My phone kept going off from messages from Joey. I didn't want to talk to him. How could I? I mean, I can't bottle up what just happened and throw it away. That's when it hit me. Did he wear a condom? Was he even aware of the possibility of me getting pregnant? I don't want a rape baby. I don't want to be the mother of a child who was the cause of an unforgivable action. I don't want any baby. I don't!
I felt tears streaming down my face as I laid on my bedroom floor. I curled up in a ball, like how I used to when I was kid. I needed someone to be there with me. I was afraid; I was so afraid. How could I not know that he goes to our school? Am I really that blind? I don't want to face my rapist when I go back to school. I won't even have Joey to protect me from him. I will be vulnerable.
I sat up and looked at the long mirror on my wall, in front of me. My eyes were extremely puffy and the bump on my head had gone down, but it still hurt like hell. I reached up and ran my fingers across. This will leave a scar. What did he even hit me with anyway? Who cares, the scar will be a painful reminder of last night. How I was betrayed by one human being.
I watched myself as tears began to fill my eyes and slide down my cheeks. I needed Joey. I needed him so much. I looked over at my phone, by my side. I reached out and unlocked it slowly, with my fingers trembling. I typed in Joey's number and I called him. The phone began to ring.
Joey: Hello? Chloe? Why haven't you answered my calls. Are you okay?
I held my breath before responding and I could feel my throat tighten as I fought back the tears. Instead of hiding my emotions, a slight whimper escaped from my mouth.
Joey: Baby, are you crying? What's wrong? I took a deep breath and I opened my mouth but no words came out. I couldn't tell him anything. It would crush him. I finally found my words and answered, cautiously.
Me: No, I'm not....I just really miss you. I wish you could be here with me. It's kind of lonely, haha. Lying to him killed me inside. I closed my eyes and breathed out, waiting to hear his sweet voice to calm me down.
Joey: You know I'm always here for you, even if I am in another state for a couple of weeks. If you ever need anything, you know I will be here to help, baby. But, I have to go. We're going out for lunch with my dad's sister, so I will talk to you later. Okay? Cheer up, beautiful. I will be home before you know it, buttercup.
He hung up and I sat there, with the phone still pressed to my ear. I could still hear his voice in my head and I felt myself relax for once. I laid back down on the floor and I curled back up into a ball, feeling as small and vulnerable than ever.