7. Now and Then
I heard a knock on my door. "Come in." I said. My older brother walked into the room. "Why is Joey in the bathroom taking a shower?" I sat up and I looked at him.
My 21 year-old brother, Daniel, had the traits of my mother and father, always caring, protective like my mother and laid-back, unworried like my father. Ever since my parents passed, it's been hectic in both of our lives. It's not easy taking care of your younger sister and still trying to manage your own life. I give him credit and a huge wave of guilt always comes over me at times. Instead of being a "rebel-like" 21 year-old college student, he has to keep an extra eye on his sister and having limited freedom. But, I love him.
"He stayed over last night. I guess he was feeling groggy." I tensed my body, waiting for the lecture of how stupid I was for letting a boy stay in my room last night and how "vulnerable" I was in my sleep. But, that wasn't the case at all. "Well, next time just let me know before I walk in there thinking it's you." Daniel said. "Look, I'm already late for work as it is, will you be okay? I won't be home until late tonight." I nodded my head and I assured him I'd be fine.
I knew he left once I heard his car start and leave the drive-way.
I sat on my bed and I stared down at my hands. I missed my parents, a lot. Their passing made it hard for me to come out with my feelings. I remember the night too well...The phone call...the sirens...it was like a scene from out of a movie. The moron that crashed into their car was drunk and completely oblivious to what was going on. He should be the one experiencing our pain. He should be the one feeling the guilt, every day of his life.
He should have been the one to die that night.
I was so angry at God. I grew up with him in my heart. I grew up hearing about his good. I grew up learning that he cared.
But if he cared so much, then how could he let such evil happen to the good in this world?