A sharp shooting pain penetrated my abdomen. I gripped onto my stomach and I could hear myself cry out in agony. "Agh!" I leaned forward and laid my hand onto the front of the dashboard of Daniel's car and flinched my eyes shut. "We are almost there." Daniel yelled as he weaved in and out of traffic.
This is it, this is really it. I am having my baby. Daniel began rambling "I have water, do you want water? I have food, um, pillows-?" I looked over at him. "SHUT UP AND DRIVE" I screamed and with another kick, I yelled in pain again. With a final sharp turn, we pulled into the hospital and I was soon on my way into the emergency room. With each painful step I took, nurses and doctors helped me into a wheelchair and onto my room.
Another painful kick and this time, it was different. It didn't feel right. Another after another and after another. The nurse standing beside my bed, while putting an IV in my arm, looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. She began hooking up wires to my stomach from a monitor: "What are those?" I asked. "These wires will help us hear and monitor your baby's heartbeat and to make sure everything is going smoothly. But, your contractions are not close enough together, we can't deliver the baby yet. We have to wait until they are 3 minutes a part." She looked me up and down, and the sympathetic look came back again. "Would you like anything to drink?" I shook my head and laid back while biting my tongue.
The nurse left me alone in my room and I was in complete silence. The last time I was in the hospital, was after Joey's death. I could feel a lump start to form in my throat, ready to pour out tears from my eyes. I looked down at my insanely large pregnant stomach and I ran my hand over my unborn child beneath my tummy skin. Don't think about it, not today. Think about the baby, the name. The gender. The years that will come, raising my child
The final blow inside my stomach, this one made me jolt up from my bed. I screamed in agony and the tears started streaming down my face. Oh god, this was the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life. "Something isn't right!" It felt like my insides were being ripped and torn apart, slowly by slowly. Nobody was here to help me. I didn't know where Daniel was. I could feel myself hyperventilating.
A wetness. A wetness in between my legs. The wetness soon started trailing down my legs and it felt like it was flooding my bed.
Did I pee? Oh my gosh.
I lifted the hospital blanket up and I was greeted with a pool of blood beneath me. I stared in shock and I began hyperventilating again.
No, no, no, no, no. This isn't happening. No, no, no, no. I can't lose my baby, no please God no. I can't deal with this a second time.
I heard the monitor beside me, that was hooked up to my stomach, start beeping erratically, as it was getting louder and louder. I watched the heartbeat of my baby, begin to decrease each second.
"NO!" I screamed as I saw the numbers. Please don't take my baby away from me. Please. It's the only thing I have left.
I pressed the red button for a nurse and I started screaming for help. Tears were forming and were running down my cheeks. Nurses and doctors ran in as quickly as possible. The nurse that had offered me a water, checked the monitor and began pressing buttons.
"Doctor; the fetal heart beat is decreasing." She yelled. Doctors and nurses were running around with needles and yelling medicines to help revive my baby and to help increase its heart beat. "She needs to go to the emergency room, STAT." They lifted the guard rails and I was soon being pushed down a long, white hallway. I could feel them press a mask over my nose and mouth.... "This will put you to sleep, all I need you to do is to countdown from 10, sweetheart." The nurse said. She rubbed my forehead and gave me a nod of reassurance.
I prayed and counted. I prayed so hard. I felt myself starting fall under from the drugs. My eyes began to shut as I could see the light starting to dim. With one last breath.... I prayed.
Please. Please Joey, don't let our baby go.
And with one last final thought.... I slipped away into the darkness.