1. The Last Chapter
Sometimes when theres nothing left to feel, you´ll try anything just to feel again. Dont we all want to be happy? Sometimes we like to make beautiful paintings, to heal the pain. Its a great escape and it can make you feel pleasure. But when other people see these paintings, they might be confused. They will ask you why you paint or how you feel when you paint. Some may even be cruel and ask why you dont paint another way - maybe more vertical lines, instead of horizontal. That might even take you lower. Dont let them. Just open your eyes and see that you arent a painter... Youre a person who has been through a lot, and a person who is hurting. Its time to be brave Its time to get out of the lie you have been living in since years. Its time to realize that you are using your love for pain and suffering as an excuse to hide something else that you don't like about yourself.
It really hurts, not being someones first choice. When you know that there is always going to be someone else. Someone better. You might all be friends, but in the end you know that you wont make the cut. You´re of the team and left alone. Left with your own life, cause they arent going to help you. They have their own problems. SO when you sit there all alone, staring at them and their perfect life, you just think "Maybe Im just not good enough" Sure they might be there on the side, but when their first choice is calling, they have to go. And then what?
Dont we all like to live in imaginary world. It could be a world where you are married to Harry Styles, or maybe just a world where you see yourself having a better life. This is how we destroy ourselves. By living in a world that doesnt exist. A world where war is only a thing that happens in stories, and people arent starving. A world where you can be somebody. Why do we kill ourselves like that? Cause when we´re out of that world, and in the real world again, we´re dying. A little bit, day by day. The pain can be unreal. It hurts cause it matters. We love the feeling of being someone else. Maybe even just for a little bit. But as you know.... A heart that hurts is a heart that works.
And THATS how the things we love destroy us. Piece by piece.