I had made it down to the platform, and waited for the next trolley to Park Street. I held my pizza, and the one for Abby carefully. I listened to Maroon 5’s - Payphone quietly, as the train approached. I looked at the transit map, just occupying myself. I decided to change to the redline once we arrived at Park Street. I only had two stops, and then I would get off at South Station. Abby’s place was about a two minute walk. I stepped off the trolley and made my way down to the platform for the redline. For a sunday night, it was quite busy. I didn’t know what I would say when I saw her. I just needed to see her, that was it.
When I got to her building, her small lamp in her window was on. I smiled, just picturing her reading quietly. She always curled up in the blanket I bought her for Christmas. It was when she first moved here. She’d fallen in love with the Red Sox. I bought her a fleece blanket, and it was huge. It had the team’s logo on it. When it was cool, she’d wrap it around her. “When I cuddle up in it, I feel like your hugging me Arcanum.” I smiled remembering the times I’d cuddled her innocently. When we would go see movies at the Hatch Shell on Friday nights. She’d sit in front of me, and I’d just hold her. She’d pack a dinner for us. I’d bring the blanket for us. She wouldn’t stay out late, because she’d have to be up early the next morning for work.
I rang her bell, and waited and looked around. Car buzzed behind me, and horns blared. There was no noise from within the stairwell. I decided to ring it again. Still no movement. I sent her a text,
'Hey come downstairs please.'
I waited in the alcove. The wind started blowing, and the chill had set in the air. I looked around and waited. She hadn’t replied. So I decided to give her a call. Her phone rang, and rang then went to voicemail.
“Hi this Abby. Leave me a message and I’ll call you back.”
I waited until the beep. “Hey Abby. Listen I’m downstairs with a pizza for you. Can you let me in, or am I ok to come up. Call me back, or text me please.”
I hung up. Five more minutes passed by, and then I heard her laughter. I stepped out to see her walking down the street, her arm linked with someone else’s. She was with a guy, and laughing. She was happy, and smiling. I left the pizza on her doorstep, and quickly disappeared into the crowd of people walking along.
I put on music, and it was ironic that Swedish House Mafia’s - Don’t you worry child would come on. I just felt like my heart literally had been ripped out. The only way to describe it is, at the end of Mortal Kombat, when the winner could rip out the opponents heart. I felt like that right now. I’d lost the game. Now I wondered if she’d like this guy for a while, and was afraid to tell me. She wasn’t home moping about like I was. She was out having a nice time. Her hair was done. She’d worn makeup, she looked stunning. I walked quietly back to the subway. I didn’t want to go home.
I walked in the entrance to South Station, and tapped my Charlie Card, and headed down to the platform. I was going to head to Harvard Sq. Tealuxe was open, and I needed a place to collect my thoughts, where she wouldn’t think to look for me. I felt my phone vibrate, and there was a text from Abby.
'Oh my gosh. You’re so amazing. Thank you so much. You should have stayed. I just got home. I’m really sorry I missed your text, and call. I left my lamp on so it wouldn’t be dark when I got home. Everything ok?'
I waited, teetering on the edge of replying, and ignoring. So she was all happy now. Twelve hours ago she snapped at me, and stormed out of my house. Maybe I was being selfish, but I didn’t care to tell her anything. Let her try decode my tweet. I felt so nauseated, and angry. The train pulled in, and I stepped on. This couple sat there whispering to one another, and cuddling. They were smiling, and happy. They looked like my best friend just did. They looked how my best friend, and I should look, but we didn’t. She was happy, and had her arm linked with some other guy. So that was it. I had nobody, and I didn’t want anybody, nod did I need anybody.
When I arrived at Harvard Square, I decided to check out Raven Used books. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I walked in the shop, and a girl with black cat’s eyes glasses smiled at me. She looked like something out of a 50’s picture. She wore bright red lipstick. Her hair pinned up, and styled nicely. She wore a letterman sweater. She had her monroe pierced, and smiled at me. She looked up at me,
“Hi there. If you need help finding anything let me know.”
I smiled, and nodded. I proceeded to look around. I had taken my headphones out, and shoved them in my pocket.
“Do you have Amissus animarum?” A males voice spoke.
I stopped, and tried to act normal. That was my book.
“Arcanum Corvus? Right here.” The girl spoke. I glanced over. Behind the counter on the display sat my book. A small ball of excitement turned internally.
“Have you read it?” The cashier asked the customer,
“I literally have read it to the point where, this is my second copy. My first one is falling apart.” The cashier laughed,
“I’m so excited to read De animarum errantium. He, or she left us hanging.”
The customer grinned, “Oh I know. I’m trying to see if anyone has done any fan fic’s but nothing has come up.”
The cashier smiled, “I think people are afraid to taint Arcanum’s work. It’s just brilliant.” I
listened, as I scanned the shelves. There sat all three of Reynard’s books. I needed to get them. I just needed some that were never touched. Their bindings were perfect. I pulled them off the shelf and walked over to the counter.
“Ah another good choice.” The cashier smiled, as she rung up the fellow in front of me.
“Hey isn’t that the author Arcanum likes?” The man asked. His back was towards me. I didn’t pay much attention to him.
The cashier nodded, “Yep. He actually said he loved that Reynard was as private as he was in one article. Both authors are very mysterious.”
I spoke softly, “Sylvain actually started the trilogy as just a fan fiction. It was originally just The University of Edward Masen. Yes a Twilight fan fic like Fifty Shades of Grey. He pulled it, and then published it under the pseudonym.”
They both looked in my direction, as I looked down at the books.
“You’re definitely a fan, that’s for sure.” The cashier chuckled, and put the fellow’s book in a bag. “Do you have another copy of Gabriel’s Inferno, or the trilogy if that’s the case. Now I’m really intrigued.” He asked. I set the books on the counter, and waited.
“Actually that’s our last copy of Inferno. We do have other copies of Rapture, and Redemption.” She went and grabbed a copy of each. The sigh of disappointment in his tone, was how I felt on the inside.
“Here.” I set my money on top of the books. “Love ring me up for another copy of Rapture.”
She smiled, “Ok sir.”
The gentlemen went to pull out his wallet.
“No I’m paying for all four books.” Both of them were quite stunned.
“That’s quite alright. I can pay for my books. Thank you for the kind gesture.”
I looked at him, “It’s my pleasure. These books can be very therapeutic.”
He smiled, and the cashier rung everything up.
“Have you read Amissus animarum?” The gentlemen asked, looking up at the displays.
I smiled, “I have.”
He returned the smile, “I love it. I can’t get enough. What did you think of the characters. I feel so bad for Olivia. Someone even made an Olivia twitter. Arcanum actually wrote to her.”
I smiled, “Really? That’s impressive.”
He chuckled, “It’s funny. It was almost as if they were arguing.”
The cashier handed me my receipt, “Like Julianne, and the Professor do in the seminar. I saw that.” I smiled at the cashier, then looked behind me, and spoke over my shoulder. “May I see your book?” I asked the man.
He looked at me, “Uh sure.” He pulled it out, and handed it to me. He returned his gaze to the books behind the cashier. “So many good books are coming out.” He asked, while the cashier was busy wrapping his book, and mine; I quickly signed the inside cover. I left a simple note,
"Scire te non occurristi. Interdum somnia vera facit.
I handed it back to him, and took my book, and the receipt.
“Have a great evening.” I walked out of the store briskly, and once again disappeared in the crowd. “Holy crap, that was Arcanum Corvus.” I heard come from behind me in the distance.
“Where’d he go?” I smiled, and walked along quietly.
I wrote it in english as well,
"You never know who you might meet. I hope your dreams come true."