So this is gonna be a chapter about personal depression and what helped motivate me to keep going.
Through life, I've had to deal with people coming and going in just a blink of an eye, or that's what it felt like.
I was about 9 or 11 - somewhere between there, when I first went through depression, and it never really left either. Once it's there, it's there. It won't leave until you've found that one person who can make you believe that you are worth it, that everything was worth the fight.
When I was younger, I was like a complete different person. Social, girly, Christian, stress-free, healthy, straight forward, etc. That was when I knew I had someone to depend on.
Now? I'm shy, I have scars, I haven't been to church in ages, I question my actions 24/7, I don't care about myself as much as I should, etc. But I'm changing the best I can, to be the person I wanna be.
My two motivations happen to be my younger brother and music.
My younger brother, because I was the one who was there for him since day one, he always puts a smile on my face and a chuckle through my voice. He's my bae and I'll always be there for him, there'll never be a time that I won't be. If 20 years from now, he called me up crying, I'd drop my everything and be there for him.
Music motivated me, because when I listen, I listen to the lyrics and understand the meaning behind them. Country music is the easiest to understand, because any country artist would pick up a guitar and write a song about a situation they just went through. They're real, they don't get caught up in the fame like anyone else would.
I wanna be that one person that people would call at 2am crying, or extremely depressed wanting my advice.
I wanna be that one person that someone would walk up to and hug me saying "thank you Sam, for saving my life, for inspiring me to keep moving on." I wanna be that one person.
~ Another chapter posted, I apologize if it duplicated because it's saying I published it, but it's still a draft. Oh yay. So just remember if you need anything you can talk to me any time!