I showered and got ready to go to the pub. Louis isn't coming with us because they have a concert tomorrow and also Ashton doesn't want to come. He's a bit sick. I dressed into a black jeans with a Suicide Silence shirt and there over a black and red chemise. I straighten my hair and got my make up done. I walked to my room 'cause I'm not into the 'party mood' today. I'm missing my dad really hard. I put on my grey converse shoes and took my phone. I walked down the stairs as I felt that my legs got weak again. I looked behind me because I tought someone was begind me but there was nobody. I heard a loud scream:
I inmadiatly looked infront of me and stopped walking as I saw that I almost missed a step.
"Gosh Alicia, where are you with your head?" I heard Luke asking but I didn't answer, I almost fell from the stairs again because I didn't watched out.
"Are you okay?" He asked and I nodded
"Ready?" Michael asked and I nodded, again. We walked outside to Calum's car.
"Wait" I said as I saw the car accident of me and my father again.
"What's wrong?" They asked
"No Ali, I will"
"Please, just... Let me drive please..."
"Okay, what's wrong?" Michael asked
"Nothing" I said as I opened my car and sat down in the driver's seat. Calum next to me and Luke an Michael in the back of my car. After 20 minutes driving we ended up at the pub in the city. We entered the pub and people where looking at us. A group of girls and boys walked up to us. They talked with the guys and then looked at me as they saw better who I was.
"Ohh, the slut of the group is here too" one of the girls said when Luke, Calum and Michael went to the bar to get us drinks. I rolled my eyes and walked after them but one of the boys geld my wrist and said
"Don't walk away you!"
"Let go of me" I shouted back
"Wohhhhhh, don't get your mouth to big!" The guy shouted and took me with him outside as 2 girls and another guy follwed us.
"What do you want" I snapped as I pulled my wrist out of his grip
"He's into one night stands!" The other guy said as the group laughed
"Just let go of me" I almost shouted. Then the girls went inside and the other guy slapped me in my face, seriously, what am I doing wrong always? Isn't there just one time I can go somewhere without this? I'm really getting sick id this shit. Yeah some of them are fans of me but others just do this to me.
"Don't fucking slap me!" I shouted and pushed the guy away and tried to get into the pub again.
"What's your problem?!?" The guy asked slapping my shoulder as the other slapped me on my butt.
"Don't" I said but the guys took me behind the corner as they slapped my face twice and 3 times on my collar bones. A tear rolled down my cheek but they didn't notice.
"Mehh, call your daddy" one said as the other One pulled off my chemise and I saw them both looking to my bruises and scars and open wounds from cutting/self harm. A tear escaped my eyes.
"Why...?" They both asked with wondered faces
"If you can hurt me, why can't I hurt myself then? Do your think this is really funny? Hurting a girl who didn't even do something to you?"
"Is that a reason?"
"Yeah, I can't drown my demons they know how to swim.
"Why are you crying?"
"I lost my father 4 years ago and guess what? Today it's been 4 years ago. I wish I died instead of him I'----"
"Why you say that?" One said with his mouth open
"Because I sat next to him in the car"
"What did you had?" The other one asked as I tried to lift up my pants so they can see the scars from the many operations.
"Wow... We're reall sorry about wh----"
"Just think before you speak and before you slap somebody... You don't know what the person is going trough---"
"Did you get slapped at home maybe?"
"That aren't your buisines" I said as I wanted to go and the guys held me there again. My phone was fibrathing but I didn't care.
"No just let me go, I'm tired of this shit, I hope you know that something like this always happen when I come outside. Just don't do this. You guys are like crazy and fucking ket me go before I slap YOU!!!!" I shouted the laat part as they let go of me. I went back inside with my chemise over my arm. I looked at my phone ans saw I missed akme calls of the guys. I searched them in the pub and as fast as I found them, I saw.... Calum and a girl talking really close to each other. Why can't I just forget about him or Luke..? I really feel so stupid about this feelings. I feel like loving Calum but also when I saw Luke, I want him back. I felt eyes laying on me as I looked up I saw Calum infront of me now and Luke in the back watching me and Calum.
"Where were you?"
"Just outside, it was a bit warm"
"Oh okay" he said as he kissed my cheek and then went to the toilet.
"Are you back together?" Luke asked
"Oh" he said as he breathed out. A slowly song came on.
"You want to dance?" Luke asked and I nodded. He grabbed my hand and then we danced. This felt so good to be this close again but then I tought about the many times he sheated on me and the many times he wasn't even there for me and thearriage question from Calum. My smile went of my face as Luke was looking into my eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked and I nodded
"Okay" he said as he pulled me closer again but I pulled away and went back to Michael who was standing there alone because Calum was talking to the guys who had hurt me. I saw him getting frustrated and asked what was happening between them to Michael but he also didn't knew.
"Why you went here again?" Luke asked
"Calum is getting frustrated and I don't want him to fight"
I saw the guys with Alicia before. I now went to them and asked what they did but they just stood there laughing and making fun of her.
I wanted to ask Alicia to dance but Luke did before me. I kinda like her. Calum hit one of these two guys in the face as the other pulled him away and slap him back. Alicia ran over to them and one of the two guys hit Alicia in the face with his elbow because he didn't saw her. Alicia's nose was bleeding and her lip was open too. Luke and me ran over and held the guys out of each other. Alicia stood there talking with Calum as Calum took her outside with him, mine and Luke's face dropped.
I need to get her back. One of the guys had slapped Alicia and her nose and lip were bleeding. I helped her and then took her outside. As we get outside I grabbed her face and cupped it in my hands as I kissed her lips. She didn't kiss back and then I pulled away. I saw her eyes getting watered as I tasted blood on my lip from Alicia.
"Sorry I didn't need to do that I'm so sorry. I just love you so much." I said but she didn't answer, she just stood there with watered eyes
"I love you Ali.... Answer me please"
"I also love you" she said quietly
"Be mine again" I asked as she turned around and walked away. I only stood there watching her go, she probably didn't want me back. I didn't follow her so instead of that I went inside and took a bottle of Vodka. I drank it all on my own. The guys asked where Alicia went, I tought she would probably went home so I told them she went home. I was really drunk and a group of girls came to me. They grinded on me and me and 2 of them had sex on the toilets. I didn't know what I was doing.
I heard every single word that Calum and Alicia said outside. She would be probably walking home. I also saw them kissing and when Calum went inside again, some girls started grinding on him. I filmed it and then they went to the toilets so I followed them. They had sex and I took on the noice. I put the video from some girls grinding on him on Twitter with the caption: @AliciaTomlinson as you see you can get better then him!! Somebody that really loves you and maybe wasn't the best boyfriend before.
I went home and got a signal that I had something on Twitter. It was a video from Calum and some girls grinding on him. This was enough for me, he really didn't love me. Luke's caption...
I went in my car and drove all night just around. It was 2 in the night when I get away from the pub and then left with my car. Around 6 I went to parking grave. There were many cars who didn't work anymore. It was a bit creepy but I parked my car and felt asleep with the toughts of Calum and the girls. As I woke up it was just an hour later and I don't know where I am. I watched my phone as I missed many calls and texts from Luke, Ashton and Michael. I stayed just in my car until 9 and then went back on the road. I filled the car with benzine again and started driving again. I took a sigarette out of my pocket and smoke it.
I have no idea where I am...
IF YOU GUYS HAVE SOME IDEAS, LET ME KNOW AND MAYBE I'L PUT THEM IN MY BOOK! ❤️❤️❤️
Let me know what you think of this chapter? 💖💖