I only sleep for 3 hours. I was still thinking about that kiss with Calum... How could I do this? Why am I such a bitch for doing this to Luke... Luke is an amazing boyfriend but then there's Calum... Calum didn't left me all alone he only left me 5seconds because he needed to pee so I was waiting but Luke, Michael and Ashton were all gone... Why didn't look wait for me? Okay no problem for me but then I heard Alex shouting my name and so I ran away but he didn't believe that I had a boyfriend and then Calum came... Alex almost hit him but Calu has hit him first. He still didn't believe that Calum was my ""boyfriend"" so Calum and I kissed.... I don't like the way that I liked the kiss.. I woke up with my head on Calums lap and Lukes hand around my waist. I stood up from the ground and walked to the bathroom. I really couldn't believe that I was so stupid to kiss my best friend... I took a razor and cutted my wrists.. I was bleeding hard and then I cut the letter L and C in my tights... I forgot to lock the bathroom door so I did this now before somebody came in. After searching bandages for around my wrists I walked out of the bathroom. Calum was awake.
"Goodmorning" Calum said
"Had you have a good sleep?" He asked
"Yeah you?" I asked
"Yupp" he answered and hugged me
Luke woke up too.
"Hey" Calum and I said in symphony
Luke came to sit next to me and he hugged and kissed me "i love you"
"I love you too Luke"
"With 20 minutes Louis come for us" I said
"Michael wake up Michael.... Michael.... MICHAEL WAKE UPPPPPPPPP!!!!" Ashton shouted but Michael only turned hisself with his back to us. Calum and Ashton took a glass and filled it with water and me and Luke pulled the blankets off of Michael. Calum and Ashton throwed the water in Michaels face and now he stood up. Finally. We were all laughing only Michael didn't.
"Guyssss why did you do this???" He said
"Because you didn't want to wake up" Ashton laughed and so did Calum Luke and I.
"Go fresh yourself because Louis come for us with 10 minutes" I laughed
After 5 Michael came out of the bathroom and hugged us all.
"I love you guys really but this wasn't the best way to wake somebody up" Michael said now laughing.
We walked to the front of the hotel and there was Louis waiting for us. We stepprd in the car and drive to the 5sos boys house. I sat next to Luke and Ashton. Lukes hand was in my tight but it hurted from the cutting...
"Aww" I whispered
"Hmm what you say?" Luke asked
"Oh nothing" I said and smiled
"You sure are you okay?" He asked
"Y-yes I'm fine" I said still smiling
"Okay then" he said and I think my leg started to bleed again because my dress got a little bit red on the place of the wound.
We arrived at the house and we got some food.
"The party yesterday was really awesome" Luke said
"Yeah if you maybe took some care for Alicia it would be better" Calum dissed him
"What happened??" Michael, Louis and Ashton asked
"First of all her ex-boyfriend was there but Luke didn't seem to care, at least till I put her in front of me. That guy came to Alicia and pushed her closer to him and Luke? Were was he? Ohh yeah in the corner talking with a girl and 3 other guys. You left Alicia all on her own and you knew Alex was there because you got angry when I was talking to Alicia about him but when we left the party you left her alone again Luke! I needed to pee and Alicia waited for me and then Alex came and shouted her name but she started to run...." Calum said but Michael asked something
"Why were you running?" Michael asked
"Because he was fucked up drunk and I know how angry he can get if he's drunk...." I said looking down
"Well when she started to run I ran after her and so did Alex. He took her wrist and Alicia was still screaming my name and yours Luke... But where were you???? GONE! If I wasn't there, Alicia didn't sat her now!!" Calum shouted
"Wait what? What you mean Alicia didn't sat her anymore??" Louis asked
"I saw everything happening and I saw Alicia was affraid and I started to run harder and Alex took her wrist and he was really angry. Alicia was affraid because she would do anything for him if he let her go but Alex took her wrists harder in his hand and she screamed. Alex was about taking her with him and then I hit him in his face and he still didn't believe that she got you as her boyfriend...." Calum said
"I-I'm sorry Alicia I-I didn't know..." Luke excused himself
I only nodded and walked upstairs with Luke behind me.
"Please Alicia din't be angry please..." Luke said and I turned around on the stairs and the boys were alk looking at us.
"I'm not angry Luke... You're young and free. You don't need to be with me everywhere but I'm just really happy that Calum was there and that I have him as my friend 'cause you don't know what Alex can do and wanted to do but it's okay nothing bad happened" I said and kissed his cheek and walked further upstairs.
"Alicia please I'm so sorry for dissapointing you sorry" Luke said almost begging
"Luke really it's okay, I'm not dissapointed at all and you know I love you but can you please let me 5 minutes alone...?" I said
"Sorry" he said again looking down and I kissed him and walked to my room.
"Luke please how could you let her all alone if you knew that Alex was there? She was fucking affraid and I know if I wasn't there something bad happened... I saw the anger in his eyes..." I said and Luke was dissapointed
"Sorry... I'm really sorry. I was drunk and didn't tought clear anymore" he said
"I know Luke but please don't let her on her own where Alex is!! I shouted
"What you mean with something bad could happen?" Ashton asked
"This guy is a fucking freak..." I said but Louis interupted me
"Yeah and Alicia told me everything that happened between her and him...."
"What happened?" Michael asked
"This guy is known with the police for being and abusive man. When they were still togheter and he stayed the weekend he hit her and he was angry for nothing.. She never did something wrong but he isn't a good guy. One time they almost got an accident with the car because he was shouting at her but she was driving. She couldn't hold it anymore and she broke up and still when she came to Australia he followed her and came many times to our house" Louis explained
"Whatttt?!!! He is known with the police???" Ashton said
"Omg if I had the chance I beat that guy's ass up! Why the fuck did he hit her!" Luke said almost screaming
"Yes Ashton he's known with the police for fighting and being abusive..." Louis said getting tears in his eyes and went outside. Michael followed him. Also Luke got tears in his eyes, "Sorry Calum" he said almost whispering and looking down.
"Just don't forget that I saw you with that girl" I said and wanted to walk away but he took my arm.
"Please don't say anything to Alicia if you saw everything you have seen that nothing happened!" Luke yelled
"I know but don't forget that your girlfriend, who you left on her own at the party, sits upstairs thinking and crying" I answered and left.
I needed to go to the ring. I need to box now. I want that my frustrations are gone.
After 2 hours of crying and thinking and wanting to go home to Belgium, I finally left my room and walked downstairs. I only saw Luke and Michael.
"Where's Calum?" I asked
"I don't know" Michael answered
"Oh okay and Louis?" I asked
"Outside with Ashton" Luke said and I sat next to him in the sofa. He sat his hand on my knee and I kissed his cheek. Calum came in and he looked a bit jealous.
"Alicia can we speak please?" He asked
"Now?" I asked
"Okay then" I said and stood up but Luke took my hand in his and I kissed him.
Calum and I walked upstairs into his room.
"About what you want to talk?" I asked and sat myself on his bed. He came up to me and hugged me. He let go and looked into my eyes and took my hands in his.
"Alicia look I really don't want to see you hurt becuase of Luke"
"I-I'm not hurted" I said
"If he hurts you I'll fucking beat his ass up!" Calum almost shouted
"Calum I want to ask you something..."
"Hmm yes?" He said
"What happened to your face this time? Please be honest" I asked
"N-nothing special... I went to my mother and I fell from the stairs" Calum said
"Calum please be honest"
"No really bae it's the truth"
"Hmm okay then but I'm tired I go to sleep" I said hugging him and kissing his cheek
"Good night bae" he said and kissed my forehead
I went to my room and fell asleep. Around 4 in the night I woke up of a noice from the door.
I went outside to see who it was. It was Calum but what is he going to do?
Should I follow him?