Around 10 we woke up. Luke on my chest and my head on Louis stomach. Calum laid next to me with Michael on his stomach and Ashton laid on Michael's stomach. We walked downstairs and I made some eggs with bacon for them. I gave it to them but I just walked back to the kitchen because I'm not hungry. Louis came in. "Please eat something or at least come sit with us" he said
"How can I sit when my fucking ass is hurting" I said laughing and he laughed also
"well you can sit on my lap if you want to?" He asked and I laughed and he took my hand and sat me on his lap while he and the others were eating, they asked why I didn't ate but I only said I wasn't hungry.
"Why are you sitting on his lap?" Ashton asked
"Well my ass is hurting" I said a little laughing and they did too.
"So Alicia-Luke, how are euh you know how are you guys doing?" Ashton asked
"Well good....I think" Luke said
"Yes...good" I said while looking at Calum who stood up and brought his plate to the kitchen but he didn't came back.
"Alicia can you come 5 minutes with me I need to talk with you." Luke said and I followed him
"Do you still love me?" He asked
"Yes offcourse I still love you why are you asking that?"
"Because it looks like we're falling appart" he said and I nodded
"I love you so much Alicia really I don't want you to leave me" he said with tears in his eyes
"Is there any reason that I would leave you then?" I asked
"I'm never there when you need me the most... Calum is always with you and yeah...you know..."
"Does that makes you jealous?" I asked
"Well n-no but I just don't want to loose you!" He almost shouted and hugged me.
"I'm so so so sorry really" he said crying
"It's okay" I whispered and let go of the hug while I kissed his cheek and walked back to the living room with Luke behind me.
The boys were playing a game on the WII and Michael was losing.
"Ash that's is not fair!!" He said and the others were laughing
"You're just bad at this game bro" Ashton answered laughing
"I go for a walk" I said to Luke and walked out of the house.
I walked to the tree house and there I sat down on the wooden floor. I was thinking about everything that happened when I came to Australia. My leg is hurting much again but I'm nit going to the doctor AGAIN. I really hope to never see Alex again. He was the one who always cheated 0n me, hit me for nothing, being angry when I did nothing wrong. He was the abusive boyfriend not me. I start to think about that kiss with Calum again. He was always there for me when something bad like this happened because he never left me. He protected me and treated how a girl needs to be treated. Luke just talked to some other girls, no problem for me but he almost always left me somewhere. I felt sparkles when Luke kissed me for the first time and so did I with Calum. Am I in love with Calum? No no no that can't be true he's my best friend and I love Luke....I think... I do love him but why is everything so complicated? I put off my jacket and laid it under my head. I miss my mother and father so hard. A tear rolled down my cheek. When I need them they aren't here for me anymore. They are in my heart but I just need a hug from my parents, I want to talk with them, spending time with them, I want them beside me.
Louis went to band practice.
"Hey guys, Alicia is gone for almost an hour now and she still isn't back" I spoke up while Michael and I looked at each other. Calum and Luke were playing fifa but they both looked up too.
"I think she'll be back soon" Luke said while Calum glared at him
"Are you serious Luke?" He said
"Yes offcourse I am? She'll be back soon" Luke said
"What the fuck" Calum mumbled in him self
"Calum why are you always angry when Luke say something and why are you so protective like she's your girlfriend?" Michael asked
"Because I know much more then you giys will ever know about her!!!" Calum shouted and jumped out of the sofa with tears in his eyes. He walked to the garden and I followed him.
"Hey Cal... Tell me what's going on? I really am starting to worry. Not alone about her but also about you... You act so different..." I say
"Maybe if Luke was a good boyfriend things like these didn't happened..."
"What you mean?"
"Nothing let it go..." He said
"No. Talk to me Cal you know when something is wrong you can speak with me. You know trought what a shit if gone trough so tell me what's wrong and what's going on?" I said hoping he would exllain everything
"On a party Luke almost kissed another girl, if I wasn't there abd stopped him, they kissed. He was together with Alicia but Alicia was dancing with Michael. She asked Luke but he didn't wanted to. Now on the last party we went to he was again talking to that girl. After that party you, Michael and Luke went down the street up to the hotel so again Luke didn't wait for her but he knew as well that Alex was outside. I needed to pee and she waited for me and then Alex atarted to ran after her and Alicia shouted at Luke and me. Luke could hear it good but he didn't turned back. I saw Alex taking grip on her wrist and trying to pull her with him but I was on time and hit him. That night I kissed Alicia...." Calum said and looking down at the last part
"Calum I understand BUT YOU FUCKING KISSED ALICIA???!!!!" I shouted
"See?! That's why I don't want to talk to you or anybody!!! You don't understand or even don't try to!!!! You guys don't know Alicia as well as I do... You guys will never see the way I see Alicia... Even Luke doesn't understand her or see when something is wrong with her! Luke doesn't even know Alicia as good as I do and he's her fucking boyfriend!!!!!!!" Calum shouted and wanted to walk away but I took grip in his arm.
"Calum why did you kiss Alicia....?" I asked with a low voice
"Because she needs to be treated like a girl and not like Luke does"
"And what you mean, you know Alicia better then we?" I asked letting go of his arm
"I know almost every little part of her life and past. She tells me almost everything Ash... You guys know as well about her depression, self harm, social anxiety, borderline and pannic attacks and......." He said almost crying
"And what?" I asked hugging him
"Nothing" he said with a crop in his troath
"Tell me Calum... Please..." I begged for him to tell me
"She tried to commit Suicide..." He said now crying on my shoulder
"She really...?" I asked almost crying too and he nodded
"Does Luke know that?"
"No he doesn't..." He said and running back into the house. I ran after him but he was in his room.
"What's wrong with him..?" Luke asked
"Go talk with him and figure things out please..." I said and he walked upstairs to Calums room.
I really want to know what is wrong with him. He's always angry at me. I walked upstairs to Calums room and I knocked on his door.
I opened the door. "Can we talk maybe?" I asked and he nodded
"Whats wrong Cal? I don't want that you're always angry at me..."
"Maybe you should do something about your behaviour t.o.v Alicia..."
"Huh?" I asked
"You almost cheated on her! If I didn't stop you, you kissed that other slut!" He shouted and I looked down
"When Alicia was shouting your name when Alex was running after her you even didn't look back Luke!" He shouted
"I know" I said trying to hold back my tears
"I'm her and your best friend and if you don't change your behaviour to Alicia, I think she'll leave you... I'm only her best friend and I do know her better then you do Luke.... You guys are really cute together but threat her right and not like you did... Do really love her and be honest to me Luke..." He asked
"Calum I love her with all my heart! I love her more than I ever loved someone! I love her to the moon and back! She's my everything...she's always there for me and she sees when there's something wrong with me..." I answered
"Yes she sees this but you don't see when something is wrong with her.. Even her fakest smile you believe in..." Calum said and I broke down to the ground
"Luke no.... no don't cry please" he said hugging me and I cried into his chest.
The door swung open and it was Alicia.
"Luke... What's wrong with you?" She asked and she ran to me hugging me too
"I'm so sorry that I never was there when you needed me...I'm so sorry that I never saw that you weren't really fine... I'm so sorry Alicia I don't want to lose you, you are everything for me...please never leave me..." I cried now in her arms
"I won't" she whispered while holding me close
I saw Calum looking down and a tear rolled down his cheek and Alicia saw this too.
"Calum? What's wrong?" She asked taking his hand in hers
"Nothing.... Y-you guys are just so...so c-cute together" he said still looking down
"Okay guys come on we're going to party this evening! I don't want to see you guys like this" Alicia said and took my hand in her hand and also Calums hand she took and stood up hugging us.
"Get your asses ready!!" She said making me and Calum laugh