•after the tour•
We're finally back in Australia... Without Laura... She stayed in Belgium. I miss her as hell and I can't stop thinking about her. I cry every day and hope that she'll come back but she wouldn't. She's happy in Belgium and so was I but I decided to stay here, with the guys. Me and the guys are sitting around the table 'cause I just made us a cup of coffee. I'm really tired because I almost didn't get some night rest. I was staring out infront of me to the table while Ashton asked if something was wrong with a worried face expression.
"Ohh euh no, no I'm fine" I said fake smiling
"Are you sure?" He asked as I looked into his eyes
"Yeah" I said still with the fake smile as I looked away now because I felt a tear coming up in my eyes
"But you look so...." He said
"Sad" Michael added
"No? I'm okay guys, but euhh I'm going for getting some air----"
"When 'ya back?" Calum asked
"You're not going, I don't trust that. I see you're sad so don't.... You are in all states.... You know what I mean Alicia, don't tell me you're not 'cause you almost di---"
"Shut up Louis, you're not my father." I snapped and walked outside. Finally some calm without pressure. I walked to the tree house and inject myself.
"You're not going, I don't trust that. I see you're sad so don't... You are in all states... You know what I mean Alicia, don't tell me you're not 'cause you almost di---" Louis said
"Shut up Louis, you're not my father." Alicia said angrily and walked away.
"Wow..." Ashton said
"Why is she this angry?" I asked
"I don't know..." Louis said
"She's never like this, she never was..." Louis said looking down as a tear rolled down her cheek.
"What do you mean that she almost did something?" Michael asked
"Nothing... I'm going to follow her, you never know" Louis said as he stood up from the table.
"No, Louis don't do that, if she finds out she'll be more angry" I said
"I don't care!!!" Louis yelled and ran after Alicia.
"Really, what the fuck is going on with these two?" Calum asked
"I don't know, they became both really different..." Ashton said
I ran after alicia after the discussion. I saw her walking to the tree house. I followed her. She walked up the tree and sat in the tree house. I heard her crying. She ripped something open and I walked up the wooden stairs and looked at her. Was she really injecting herself????? Oh my God....
"ALICIA!!!!!" I yelled running in and pulled the needle out of her arm.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!" I yelled and she cried harder.
"Why...?" I whispered
"Because you miss Laura that much? Because you want to go back to Belgium?" I asked holding both her wrists and she cried harder and harder.
"Alicia... Tell me....what's wrong?"
"Yes.-- I--I miss Laura as---as h-hell a-and I wish I-I could g-go back to Belg-Belgium but I-I c-can't----" Alicia said between sobs
"You... You really wanna go back that bad...?" I asked tearing up and she nodded
"I-I, Louis just hug me" she said pulling her wrists out of my grip and laid her arms around my waist and hugged me tight.
"Is there a reason you wanna go back that bad..?" I asked and she nodded but didn't said anything.
"Tell me.... Please... Don't do drugs..." She stood up when I said this and she walked away. I followed her. I kept talking but she just kept walking and crying. She walked inside as the guys aaked questions and she ran upstairs. When she was in the middle of the stairs I yelled:
"ALICIA I FUCKING TRY TO HELP YOU BUT YOU JUST KEEP WALKING AWAY!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?! IS IT ABOUT ME?!?!? OR THE GUYS??!! WHATT?!?! WHAT IS IT?!?! JUST FUCKING TELL US OR AT LEAST TELL IT TO ME!!!! I'M NOT THE FUCKING PERSON TO FUCKING KEEP FOLLOWING YOU AND ASKING!!!!! IF YOU WANNA BE LIKE A BITCH JUST DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT!!!! TAKE YOUR FUCKED UP BLADE OF NEEDLE AGAIN 'CAUSE YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT??? I JUST DON'T FUCKING GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT ANYMORE!!!!"
Alicia stood with her back at us and she cried harder with every word I've said. I'm so stupid... Ofcourse I didn't ment that but she'll take this the wrong way...
"Just.... Safe it...." She said running to her room.
"Louis???? What the fuck was that??????" Luke said pushing me up against a wall. Ashton took him off of me.
"Nothing" I snapped and tried walking away but Michael held me
"WHAT YOU WANT!" I yelled at him
"Sit. Down." Calum said between griffhed teeth and pushed me in a chair
"Why did you said these things?" He asked as I lifted up my shoulders angry and not looking at him
"Fuck you." Calum said pushing me and I pushed Calum back but he almost fell. I heard a sob and we all looked behing and Alicia stood there with red puffes eyes.
"Alicia sorry for this all, I didn't men---"
"Shh don't say that" she whispered walking to the kitchen and I followed her
"It's Alicia." She said angry
"Alicia I said."
"Ali please--" I said getting angry
"ALICIA!!!!" She yelled angry looking at me and Michael came in.
"Alicia... What's wrong with you.... We don't know you like this..." Michael said and Ashton came also now
"Yeah.... You were always so happy.... Like the sunshine..." Ashton said as Calum and Luke entered
"You were always smiling and there for us when we needed you...." Luke said
"But now you're a wreck, depressed, sad, crying all day and night..." Calum said
"What's wrong Ali...?" I asked
"We really care about you a----" Michael said
"And we don't wanna loose you..." ashton said
Alicia had tears in her eyes again. She just stood there, her hair was a mess and a too big Green Day t-shirt. The shirt was a hand above her knee.
"C'mon Alicia, just tell us what's wrong?" I asked but she didn't answer
"Alicia, look at me"
"Look. At. Me." I said angry
"FUCK ALICIA LOOK AT ME IS THAT SO DIFFICULT?!?!?!" I yelled walking up to her and lifted her head up.
"Don't yell at me" she whispered crying and she laid her arms around my waist.
"But what's wrong?"