Guys! I'm so sorry! I finally had time to update though so here ya go :) I'm such a butt...
After letting him pull down his pants, I realized that I didn't want this. Not at all. I didn't want to be that girl that sleeps around. And with a stranger? I was going to let something so precious go with some dude I haven't even known for a week yet? What was wrong with me?
"Harry, I-I'm sorry, I can't do this," I told him embarrassed, feeling my cheeks heat up. He was still on top of me, and had managed to remove my shirt with ease, leaving me in my bra.
Harry continued to try and kiss me, and I tried pushing him away, but it was too much weight for me to push off. "Harry, please get off of me, I can't do this! Can't you hear me?" He kissed my jawline passionately and slowly went down my neck and chest, his hands quickly pulling off my pants. Once they were off, he started feeling my body softly and smiled. But when he looked up at me, there was something changed within his eyes. Something different. And it scared me.
I knew that he wasn't going to stop.
"Get off of me!" I yelled. Attempting to knee him in the crotch, I felt it. It. Was. Huge.
I was terrified. "H-Harry.... there's n-no way you can do this to me. I-I know.. that you care," I told him, my voice shaking. He started to rub against me, and just as I was about to punch him, he held both of my wrists down firmly. There was no escape, especially when he pulled down my underwear.
Now I was crying. Sobbing more like.
This was rape.
"You can change, you don't have to do this," I begged him, squirming this way and that.
He kissed me an apology. I could feel it through his desperate lips, and wondered, if he's sorry, why isn't he stopping this?
Then, it happened.
And all I could see was red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Red.
The pain was unbearable. I felt trapped. I felt lost. The pain closely resembled my heartache when my family passed.
I hated myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. This was my fault. All my fault. I did this. This is my fault.
When he stopped, I questioned why I was born. Why? WHY was I put onto the earth if I was only going to suffer for the rest of it? WHY.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured while kissing my forehead, his eyes going soft once again.
I had no worth at all. I had none. I was nothing. I was meant to suffer like this. That's what my life's about right?
"GET OFF OF ME!" I screeched, and scurried from underneath him quickly.
I felt like shit. Like crap. I hated myself. So much. SO MUCH. And though this was all my fault, I questioned him,"Why did you have to hurt me?"
More tears came as I rushed to my room before he could answer and locked the door, pushing my dresser over it to block it even more.
I knew that he followed me, but I couldn't hear anything besides the loud-ringing in my ears. I wanted it to stop. I wanted it to stop. I wanted it to stop.
You're stupid. You're an idiot. This is all your fault!
I covered my ears tightly and collapsed to the floor, those words drowning my soul away.
***This chapter was made to describe Sarafina's thoughts and feelings throughout her rape. The topic is very serious, and nothing to joke around with. I respect anyone and everyone that has gone through a traumatizing moment like this, and bless them as well. A lot forget that they are loved, no matter what.
I know that you want more, but don't worry. I pinky promise to update tomorrow.
Comment below your thoughts and opinions, good or bad.!
I hope you have a lovely day today/tomorrow <3