This is kinda just how i feel right now

This isn't a story. This is just my depressed feelings right now.


1. I'm depressed

Hi, I'm kinda sad. You know how when you have a celebrity crush, you'll never be their crush? Well, it's really been bugging me. I get really depressed night and day about how I'd give Michael Clifford the stars for his birthday, but he would give me nothing for mine, because he doesn't know when my birthday is, he doesn't even know I HAVE a birthday cuz he doesn't know I exist. And it sucks how that is. I dream that one day I'll be in a famous band and be able to meet him,my idol. I don't even know if I'll get so much as lucky to be that famous that I could meet him. I don't know how to feel about my crazy love for 5 Seconds of Summer. One side tells me how amazing it feels to have so much passion and love for something. The other side tells me how depressing it is to have so much passion and love for someone who doesn't know I'm in existence. I dream that a miracle would happen, and in one of my millions of 5SOS merch, they're watching me through a camera and would knock on my door and saying "hi, we all love you too. We would give you the stars for your birthday too. And we would do that for you any day. So please join us in our happy times, and come live with us, because we don't know how we were able to live a day without you." It's creepy but I don't care, because it's not true, and it'll never happen because this is reality. And after writing this, maybe I'll dream that 5SOS will read this and knock on my door and say the same thing. But they never will. Because they are famous, and I'm not. They're worth more than the moon, and I highly doubt I am. So yeah. And I bet if my sister were to read this, she'll think "nah, she doesn't mean this. She just wants attention." But you know what sister, you are wrong. In my heart I truly think this and as you read this I might be crying about this very topic. I feel so depressed, and it feels very nice to let it out in this writing. I can't go a day without hearing their beautiful voice, and I can't go a day without seeing their beautiful faces. I of course and focusing on other things, but what I hate about going to sleep is, you have so many hours to think. And I think of this topic. I think of them, and sometimes it makes me smile, or cry. Don't get me wrong, the only thing that I love more than them is my wonderful family. And it's not their fault. Absolutely not, it's no one's except for the fame. That's all to blame. Once again, don't get me wrong. I'm so glad that they are so successful and happy. And that's all my thought right now have to say. I hope I didn't make you feel how I feel right now, because that's the last thing I want from this writing. I just want to let my emotions out onto writing. Thanks for understanding my thought if you did, and you are all beautiful. I wish you all well and to never feel how I feel right now. I hope you all live happily live a wonderful family by your side. I'm very grateful to be so fortunate. So thank you for listening.

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