Lost

Scarlett Jones is a young, talented photographer, with a heart for everything that lives and a passion for capturing the perfect moment. She's delighted when she gets asked to do her magic in Australia. First time on a plane, and it goes horribly wrong. When she wakes up from the nightmare, she enters a new one. Will she survive? And what about those guys? Warning: sexual content and strong language.

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19. Too many tears

Scarlett.
At the end of the day, we had two backpacks full of food and after they all took a bath in the river - and I refreshed the beds -, we had a shelter full of sleeping and resting guys. I gladly took that opportunity to shave and wash myself, because I always wanted some privacy. I found a razor in one of the backpacks and took it with me. I didn't have shaving cream, but that didn't really matter. I would just use water.
The baby was asleep on my bed, cuddled up next to Harry.
I had mixed feelings about that little child. On the one hand I didn't want to get involved - even though I actually already was - but on the other hand, I wanted to take care of her.
It wasn't her fault, after all. I sighed and bent down to pick her up, taking her with me.
Harry had given her a short wash that morning, but I thought she could use a better one.
I took my shawl with me so she had something soft to lay on while I was busy.
After I washed literally every part of my body and shaved until my skin was soft and smooth again, I cleaned my nails with a small twig.
As a finishing touch, I smashed a few flowers I had found on my way to the river and spread some of the mixture on my body and in my hair, before washing it off in the river.
I was done, my body clean and enveloped in a subtle fragrance, just as I hoped when I saw the flowers and decided to give it a try to use them.
I sat on a rock and braided my hair with my fingers, enjoying the sweet scent, while looking at the child - Rose. I should start calling her Rose - who was kicking with her legs and trying to stick her little fist in her mouth, meanwhile turning her head to look around.
I studied her for a while and concluded she was a curious child who, even though she missed the nutritious milk she needed, was filled with energy. And I was sure she would grow up as a beautiful girl.
I promised not only her, but also myself that I would give her that chance. Maybe she wouldn't stay with me, but I would make sure she went to a place with caring and loving people, who would give anything to make her happy.
Because I had failed at that once. And it still hurt.
I tried to push away the sad memories that started invading my head and controlling my emotions, and brought Rose to the water, washing her until she was as clean as I was. I spread the remainder of the mixture on her body and soon she too was smelling like flowers. I dried her and, happy with my new 'invention' of some sort of jungle soap, walked back to the shelter, the shawl wrapped around me and with Rose on my arm, picking one more flower and putting it in my hair.
Just when I walked towards the shelter, Rose got a little restless, so I presumed she needed to do her business.
I held her above some plants and let her pee, before wiping her dry with the same leaves I always used.
After I laid her down for a nap and put the razor back in the backpack, I decided to make a diaper for her, since we wouldn't always be there to see it coming.
After I brought the fire back to live, I grabbed Harry's shirt and washed it intensively, chuckling lightly at the idea his shirt would be used as a diaper. I sharpened the pocketknife with a stone and cut the shirt until I had two separate pieces of fabric.
I waited until everything was dry and put Rose on top of the shirt, so I could make an estimation about the size of the diapers, waking her up in the process. When I was done, I rocked her 'till she fell asleep in my arms and laid her down again.
I cut out shapes of a diaper, four in total. Then, I used a splinter and a thread from the shawl to sew two shapes together, leaving some space between each hole. When it was all sewn together, I pulled at the thread in the sides - the sides which would be around her legs - and made the fabric crinkle.
I put series of knots in the threads and smiled. The diapers would perfectly fit.
And I was just in time, because Rose woke up and she started making sounds that would soon turn into whining.
I shushed her and took her with me to the fire. I laid one of the diapers on my lap and put her on it, before tying the two ends together. She looked at me with her big, blue eyes and I tickled her sides, making her giggle.
I had to admit, it felt wonderful to have a baby around me again. I wondered if she missed her mother and instantly felt sad again. Pressing a soft kiss on the baby's forehead, I wished Rose would be reunited with her soon.
Even though I wasn't religious, I silently prayed her mother would be okay.
'Scarlett?'
I looked up, seeing Harry grabbing what was left of his shirt from the ground.
'Is this what I think it is?' He asked.
'I needed a diaper.'
'My shirt, Scarlett. You used my shirt.'
'You burned my bra.'
'They. They burned your bra. I didn't do it!'
'But you also did nothing to stop them.'
He didn't have an answer for that. Rolling his eyes, he sat down next to me.
'Well, at least it serves a new purpose.'
'A better purpose. It's too hot for a shirt anyway.' I said, patting him on the knee.
You're too hot for a shirt. But I didn't say that.

The evening passed in a blur. The only thing I could think about was the massage I was going to get from Harry.
When we all headed to the shelter, he walked beside me and brushed my hair to one side.
'You smell lovely, Scarlett.' He whispered in my ear. I shivered and thanked him softly.
He chuckled and I lay down on my bed, pretending to fall asleep.
I heard Harry walking away from the shelter, and I knew he was going to prepare everything. I trembled with anticipation.
I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes, calming down a little.
It felt like hours had passed when I felt a his hand on my leg. I sat up and Harry smiled at me.
I made sure the baby was laying comfortably and followed him. My palms began to sweat when Harry lead me towards the waterfall. It reminded me of my little mistake with Liam, the day before. I sighed in relief when I saw he had made the 'bed' and the fireplace on a large, flat rock on the beach. Thank god not that waterfall.
He made a fire and we silently stared at the flames for a while. Suddenly, he placed a hand on my thigh, softly squeezing it.
I faced him and he gave me a charming smile. 'I want you to relax tonight. I won't do anything you don't like and when I ask you if you like what I'm doing, I want you to be honest. It's all for your pleasure. And no, I don't mean that kind of pleasure.'
I chuckled and looked down at my hands. 'Thank you. I really appreciate that.'
'No problem, love.'
I blinked a few times. Did he just call me 'love'?
Harry told me to take off everything except my underwear, so I did. I wasn't shy under his look and untied the knot from the shawl, pulling the thing off my body. Then, he told me to lay down on my back.
He rubbed his hands, probably to make them a little warmer and started massaging my feet.
I sighed deeply and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his strong hands, kneading my sore muscles.
When he reached my thighs, he told me to turn around.
He briefly caressed my ass, which made me shiver, before continuing, massaging my back. I heard him shifting and suddenly felt his legs on either side of my hips.
'Do you mind?' He asked.
'No, just... keep going. You're good.'
'It's not the only thing I'm good at.' I could hear the smirk in his voice.
I chuckled lightly and he continued. His hands kneaded my shoulders and I moaned.
Damn, it felt so fucking good.
His warm hands stroked my sides and I shivered when his fingers accidentally touched the sides of my breasts.
When he was done with my back, he sat down beside me and asked me to turn around again.
He massaged both of my arms and placed my head in his lap. I moaned softly when his fingers ran through my hair and massaged my scalp.
He softly caressed my neck and his thumb traced along my jawline. I smiled and he chuckled.
'Did you like it?' He whispered in my ear.
His soft hair tickled my face.
'It felt... wonderful.' I answered softly. I opened my eyes and he sat up straight, giving me the space to sit up as well. I turned around and we sat in front of each other for a while.
Then, he bent forward, looking intently at my lips. I did the same.
His full, pink, soft lips. I wanted them. I wanted them on mine.
'Is it okay if I...' He started.
I cupped his face and pressed my lips on his, not able to wait any longer.
He smiled into the kiss and we made out for a minute, stopping from time to time to catch our breaths, followed by pulling our bodies together again as close as possible.
In the end, we were just laying together, me on my back and Harry beside me on his side, propped up on his elbow.
We talked for hours, laughing until our stomach hurt but also listening to each other until one of us had to wipe away a tear. I discovered a very sentimental side from Harry and he discovered a sad side from me.
When we were cuddling, me sitting on his lap, he suddenly asked a question I didn't expect.
'Do you have a child, Scarlett?'
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and pretended to smile. 'No, why?'
'Please don't lie to me.' He said softly, kissing my forehead.
I sighed. 'I have a three year old daughter.'
Wow. That surprisingly felt good.
He hugged me closer to his body. 'Tell me about her.'
I shrugged. 'What to tell... I was sixteen when I got pregnant. Very young, of course. And I had no support of my ex. But I told everyone I could do it, so I kept the child. When she was born, I got into a depression. It was weird... I loved my child, but at the same time, I hated taking care of her. So half a year later, I gave her away for adoption. A few months after she left, everything went better- and I regretted giving her away. There was always something missing. A part of me. I am a mother and I gave up on my child. I will never forgive myself.' I ended, taking a deep breath and wiping the tears away.
'You can cry.' Harry softly said.
I shook my head. 'I've been shedding too many tears already. It's my fault and I shouldn't feel sorry for myself.'
'The new parents... have they forbidden you to visit your child?' He asked.
I shivered at the word 'parents'. 'No. They even invited me a few times, but I couldn't do it.'
'And now?' Harry asked, brushing some hair out of my face.
I shrugged. 'I would love to see her...' I admitted.
'Promise me you'll visit her when you come home. It'll be fine, I'm sure of that. You are a wonderful person and you deserve to be in your daughters' life.'
I smiled at his words. He was very kind.
'Thank you, Harry. Your words mean a lot to me.'
He gave me a sweet smile. 'And? Will you promise me?'
I hesitated, but nodded eventually.
Oh, god. I was going to see my child.
If we ever got out of this jungle.
'Now, get that look off your face and kiss me, love.' Harry whispered, his face close to mine.
I smiled and did what he said. His warm lips on mine felt comforting.
'You know... I think you can brighten even the most depressed person's life with that smile of yours.' He mumbled.
I chuckled. 'Let's go back. I'm tired.'
Harry nodded and he killed the fire. Then, he handed me the shawl, which I wrapped around me. When we walked back, Harry grabbed my hand, squeezing it softly.
'I really like you.'
'Me too.' I joked.
He bumped his hip into mine, laughing.
We arrived at the shelter and lay down on our beds, cuddling.
'Harry?' I mumbled in his chest.
'Yeah.'
'I really like you, too.'

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