I looked sideways and saw the tired look on Scarlett’s face.
We had been calmly walking for an hour now and until now, she had refused to take a pause.
‘I’m serious, Scarlett. I think it’s better if we’d stop for a minute.’
‘No, no, it’s fine. I can go on for a little longer. You could hand me a bottle of water, though.’
I sighed and pulled the backpack off my shoulders, opening it to grab the bottle, which I gave to her.
She took a few eager gulps of water before handing it back to me.
‘Much better.’ She reassured me, giving me a small smile.
Since our fight, things had been pretty awkward. Even though I told her I wasn’t really mad anymore, she mostly tried to avoid my eyes and remained silent.
But half an hour later, she started tripping over stuff on the ground and stumbling against me sometimes.
'Alright... Maybe it's time to stop now.' She mumbled.
I nodded and we sat down, eating some of the last food we had.
Since we hadn't come across any fruit trees the past few days, we all hadn't eaten much, trying to save as much food as we could. My stomach was growling and I did my best to eat slowly.
'I'm hungry... I want to go home.' Scarlett said, taking a bite of the cold fish.
'I want to see my parents again. And my dog. My buddy. I promised him I would only stay away for a week. One week. And how worried will my parents be?' She said.
'Yeah.' The thought of parents made me sad. And angry.
I took a deep breath and saw Scarlett leaning slightly away from me.
'I'm sorry. Didn't want to be annoying.' She said softly, drawing a figure in the ground with a little twig.
I got up and squatted down in front of her, carefully lifting up her chin to force her to look at me.
'I'm going to say this one more time. I'm not angry at you anymore. So stop acting like I'm some monster and please just be yourself, again.' I spoke.
She briefly closed her eyes, but the sad look didn't disappear.
'I-I can't. I know you're not angry anymore. But... I can't help but feel sad. And lonely. I don't know what to do, Harry! It's coming back!' She said desperately.
'What's coming back?'
'The darkness. All my thoughts go dark. My emotions go dark. It won't take a long time before even my eyes will go dark...' She whispered bitterly.
I shook my head. 'No. You're not going back into a depression. Not because of me.' I added softly.
She shook her head. 'I don't think there's anything you can do.' Her eyes left mine and she stared at my chest, lost in thoughts.
I let go of her chin and stood up straight, looking down at her before extending my hand.
'Let's go. I want to reach the beach today.'
I felt the tears stinging in my eyes. I remembered how people used to tell me to stop feeling so miserable. To get up and dust off my clothes. Well, it's not as easy as it looks. It's a feeling that creeps into your body, and it doesn't matter how hard you try to get rid of it; it won't let go of you.
It influences your thoughts, your emotions, even your spirit. You feel tired, like you've just run a marathon.
You fail to see the positive in things. If something nice happens; you can't enjoy it.
It's the most exhausting way of living. Because you know you shouldn't feel like that. You know that you shouldn't think so negatively.
But there's nothing you can do. It's there, and you need to wait 'till it's gone.
Sighing, I made a decision.
I knew this was just the start of it. I knew it was still possible to stop it. Last time, I was too late.
But this time, I was going to kick it's ass before it controlled me.
He turned his head, seeing I had stopped walking. 'Yes?'
I stared intently at his face, taking in his beautiful features and his curly, brown hair, which I wanted to run my fingers through.
I came closer and with all the power I had, I pushed the dark thoughts away, before standing on my toes, grabbing his face and pressing my lips on his. I ignored the pain in my shoulder and kept kissing him, feeling his hands on my body, his chest pressed against me and his lips moving soft and warm with mine.
Then, I pulled away, my hands still cupping his face. 'You told me that you have feelings for me... I want to hear it. I have to hear it, I need it.' I said.
He was silent for a few seconds. 'I don't think I have ever done that before... telling somebody what I feel for them. I mean, what I really feel. Everything. But I'll give it a try, if you want.'
He took a deep breath. 'Well... it's... I know you for a few weeks now. And you have attracted me from the moment we've met. And that made me a little angry.. at first.'
I smiled a little at the memories of that first day. The way Harry looked at me and snapped at me when I said something...
'But then, I don't know. I couldn't stop thinking about you, I guess. You are so kind, and beautiful. And at the same time, you've got this rough edge I didn't expect you to have. It makes you sexy.
What I feel, is hard to describe. I just feel comfortable around you and I like you, very, very much. I don't think there's a lot more to say. Not yet. If we're home, I want to ask you on a date. We'll go to some fancy restaurant I actually can't afford and then we'll... go home and watch a movie. I don't really care. Everything is fine, as long as it's with you. I can't picture myself on a date with anyone but you. I'm afraid to call it love. But maybe it is. Maybe I love you.' He ended.
I closed my eyes and wiped the tears of my face. I felt Harry's arm snaking around my waist, pulling me close.
I hugged him back with my good arm and we just stood there for a minute, enjoying each others presence.
'Harry...' I began while I pulled back. 'What I said wasn't right. There is something you can do to help me. All... all I need is you, by my side. Will you promise me to... hold me close when I need it?'
He nodded, placing his hand on my cheek, caressing my skin with his thumb.