You can still see the light leave their eyes as they die.
Some of these creatures, people, living but dead shells, die with their eyes open, and, if they’re not bloodied, you can see their soul moving, leaving their body with a heave. These ones cry out when they’re killed, and it terrifies me. I don’t know if they can feel themselves being killed, but I know they can’t remember it, or any of their past life; and as they die, everything leaves their body. They become, truly, shells.
I am still alive. I was infected with this disease, on purpose, and survived. I don’t know how, or why, but I know that Cody figured it out. He made a sort of antidote, medicine to aid with fighting this disease. I don’t know if it will continue to work, if the disease will mutate and find another way to infect us. Maybe it already has mutated in some, but I know that he wouldn’t ever stop trying to find a way to abolish this epidemic.
I do not know how many survivors there are. So far, we’ve only seen ourselves and all the people we could save, but most of them went their own way. We’ve picked up Jeff, a burly man but with a soft spot for all animals, and Kelly, who was tending to her infected son to cure him before she got it. He was gone when we found him, a bloodied, but she decided to stay and help.
Teddy is okay. He is healthy, and getting stronger by the day. Dad is healthy too, and I am happy to report that the bond between the three of us is stronger than ever.
The bond between me and Miles is stronger than ever, too. I guess you could say we were dating, but there’s no society anymore. He’s practically family, and even my dad and brother have accepted him. Dad was a bit annoyed at our status at first, but he came to agree with it.
We may have lost so many. Leah, and Brielle, and Mom; Kaylee lost her family, Jake probably lost family members, and all of the others we met along the way have suffered loss of some kind. Cody may or may not be surviving still; it’s been quite a few months and there’s been no sign of him. I know, however, that he will work until he dies to cure these people. Cody has a heart of gold; he didn’t ever care for himself, just for helping others. That is one of the things I miss the most about him.
We all miss Cody, and everybody whom we’ve lost. We all miss our old ways, the buildings, and going to school, and caring a little too much about our appearance and what we got on the tests we took every Friday. I never can remember what day it is anymore; just that it is another day that I get to experience.
This whole experience was terrifying, and it isn’t over. It will never be over. The disease is still killing, people dying by the day. But I am grateful. I am grateful to see the next sunrise, and be able to lay my head down on my bag at night, listening to my father tell me and Teddy a story or sing us a light song. I am grateful that I met Cody, and got to bond with Miles, even though I have lost Cody and may lose Miles one day, too. I am not afraid.
I do dread the day that will come when I have to let go of my dad, and my brother, and Miles. But I know it is coming, and I am not afraid. I will not let my emotions overcome me, but I will cherish the days I have now.
That is probably one of the few regrets I have - not cherishing the days I got to experience before this tragedy. I never treasured the tests, and sleeping on my bed, or talking to my friends at lunch. I took food and relationships for granted, and I wish I hadn’t. I won’t anymore.
I still don’t know if there’s a God, or a Heaven, or anything of that nature. After this whole experience, I am even more confused. But I do know that there are angels. The people who have helped us along the way are angels - Cody, Dad, even Mom, because she gave her life trying to protect us. All of the people who went out fighting, and everybody continuing to fight, are angels.
I hope that when I die, I go out fighting, saving people, doing something meaningful. I know that I will die, and I know that I have already helped, but I don’t want it to stop when I fall ill or get too injured to continue. I will help the cause, my family, anything I can before dying. But I still have some time. I mean, I’m not dead.