I don't now what to do anymore, I have given him food the last couple of days, he wanted to talk to me, but I can't answer him. I have ruined his life. He wanted us to get through it together but how do you get through something that live inside of your own body, He doesn't know how much does words actually hurt me, I got a few scars right where my heart is placed, I was glad at first but then I realized that I was the one who was hurting him, and I can't even do anything to stop it. I'm not even able to kill myself, trust me I have tried so many times, but he stops me every time.
I have been going to the city to get food, there isn't a oven or anything in this house, so I actually managed to make a bonfire outside the house. I really want Niall to get something better than bread and water, so I brought some meat and lovely potatoes I know he will love. He always eats so much, so I figured it would be an amazing idea.
As I put the meat in tin foil I throw it into the bonfire, I do the same with the potatoes. Sitting there in the early evening weather I some how feel more relaxed than I have done in a long time. The birds are singing and a little breeze makes the trees flutter.
Taking a deep breath I walk into the basement, I hear Niall shuffling around a bit. Immediately I feel shame upon me. With my head bowed down, I walk towards him. At the time as I reach the cage, his already standing at the door. "It smells good" his voice his a bit rough like he has been sleeping. I smile a little at the compliment, I hand him the food which still lays inside the tin foil, his hand brushes mine as I do so making a electrical feeling shoot right through me.
"Please talk to me Zayn" He sounds desperate and sad, I can't hold myself back anymore. I look up at his ocean blue eyes, they don't look like they used to do, they have gotten pale and tears are forming in them, he has bags under his eyes and he looks so scared. I feel my own tears threatening to get out.
"I-I'm s-s-orry Niall, I shouldn't have let him get to you, I'm so so sorry, I wish I could make this all over again. I wish I had never spoken to you, I wish that I didn't get my hopes up for being able to have a friend, I wish that I-I.." Then the tears started streaming down on my face, I couldn't stop them. But someone reached out for me, Nialls hands reach mine and at that moment I feel like nothing can hurt me as long as he's here and holding me. I feel his hand caress my cheek.
"It's okay Zayn, it's not your fault" At his statement I flinch back from his touch. Who looks at me with big eyes.
"BUT IT IS MY FAULT NIALL!" I scream at him "I AM THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, IF I JUST HAD LEFT YOU BEHIND THAT DAY"
"I would have been beaten to death" He stops me "If you didn't show up at the time you did so, I probably wouldn't be here today Zayn, you saved me" he smiles at me, like I'm such a good person, he doesn't know anything about my past.
"I can't save you this time"
"Why, Zayn WHY!?" I jump a little by his louder voice. "Why am I here? Why is there a yellow eyed monster looking at me in the night? Why aren't you with me in this cage? Why is there always a loud scream after you have brought me dinner? why Zayn?" I don't know what to say, I can't tell him the Truth, it's all to risky. I just stand speechless in front of him. "Please Zayn TELL ME!" I flinch by his scream feeling smaller than ever.
"I-I c-can't tell you" I state "I'm sorry Niall, I really am" I walk up the stairs and up to the house, all while trying to block out Nialls' outbursts.
"FUCK YOU ZAYN!" he kicks the cage "YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME DOWN HERE!" he shakes the poles "PLEASE please come back" he falls to his knees, right after I closed the door.
OOOOOH 2 chapterrrssss :D
The picture is the house/cabin... whateverr