I feel so terrified.
Why did I write that? I honestly don’t know myself, there isn’t any particular reason as in why I should feel scared… but then again, why should I feel happy? Today is a completely, normal, boring, yet peaceful day. But why does something feel… so wrong?
Two days ago, I lived in London. Yeah, I’m an English school girl. But ever since… my parents died, I had been living with my grandma Edith, who also died recently. But today, I’m in America. A small town Veronaville, where it’s barely ever raining.
I shouldn’t feel so scared about going to my new high school today, I mean, it’s probably just the same as my old school.
No friends, no designer clothing, picked on for being the smart girl who always got grade A’s in her exams… it should be easy. Plain and simple, I guess.
Still… after writing the fact that I feel terrified down… I have nerves building up in my stomach, churning my thoughts of going back to school after skipping out four months. I don’t know what group I’ll fit into, or just… be invisible, all over again.
Most American high school students apparently love English Accents, the only problem is, and I’m part American. I have more of the Americanized accent then the English one.
I’m now moved in with my aunt Claire and her boyfriend Daniel. She isn’t technically my aunt though; I and my brother Jason call her that because she’s the only close family we have left.
We’re still grieving over our parent’s death a few years ago, but we have different ways of moving on.
Jason decides to get high, play video games and… well, pretend that I don’t exist. Want to hear my way? I just… tell everyone I’m fine, shut out everyone, let everyone see my mask. Hiding the fact… that I’m not coping with everyone dying around me, because if they did worry, I’ll just feel like a complete burden.
A wannabe, hoping to make something of herself so for once in her life, to get finally noticed.
I got to stop clinging on to false dreams and hopes.
Why you might ask? I need to stop kidding myself and tune back into reality. Only visit my lost loved ones on occasions, write down everything that happens in my diary… just move on with life.
I was truthfully born here in Veronaville; my parents lived here originally, even though they were both English.
My dad got offered a promotion, which required us moving to England. Dad was a doctor, and a surgeon.
I don’t know why, but after writing this down, I felt immediately better, I felt… lighter, for some reason. I must’ve finished venting out, because, now I have this smile plastered partly on my face telling me that it’ll be okay.
Let’s just hope, my plan works.
Smile; tell everyone I’ll be okay, hide in the shadows so no one notices how I’m really feeling.
I stared at myself in the mirror concentrating, making sure I have my heavily done eyes done neatly, and perfectly so I don’t look like a pale panda finally breaking free from its cage it’s released itself from. It’s not really heavily done in my eyes, a thin layer of brown and white to blend in with my blemish free pale skin. I figured that I didn’t want to overdo my look for my first day of school, so I just decided to let my hair dangle loosely, let it flow to my waist. I felt the same with my outfit, some simple jeans and a deep crimson vest top, with a brown denim jacket covering my bare skinny arms. It wouldn’t matter as I only cared of what I wore anyway.
Jason left already as he ‘didn’t-want-to-be-late’, but we both truthfully know why he left so early. Unlike him, I said good bye to my aunt and treated her as if she had been my mother.
Claire reminded me of honey, for some reason. I think it’s because she was so sweet, and soothing. I don’t know.
Call me weird.
I closed my eyes softly, visioning the past of our family, real family. All peaceful, Jason and I playing Frisbee out in the green hills on a sunny day, mother and father feeding each other chocolate coated strawberries to each other, and when they did finish it, the gave each other a light kiss on the lips, exchanging those three words.
I’ll miss her soothing words, that light honey blonde curly hair brushing against my cheeks as she consoled me whilst she hugged me close, hushing me to sleep as if I had been a child again.
I’ll miss my dad for… being there, not walking out in times of arguments and money loss- or whenever Jason messed up big time and got in trouble.
We always used to let those problems aside on sunny days… but it’s strange how they always happened on rainy days.
I sigh deeply; it was a ‘let’s-get-this-over-with’, sort of expression. Not that I wasn’t excited to go back and complete terms, or semesters, as I’d now have to call it.
Claire offered me a ride today; she wanted to test out the full parenting thing. I couldn’t refuse, but I didn’t also want her to be late for work either. She told me that she was going that way anyway, but her expression… I felt unsure of whether she was telling the truth or not.
But the thing about me?
I refuse to say no to offers, I remember dating my brother’s best friend for a few months last year in the summer, I was that scared to say no. I managed to make it work, but it didn’t really feel right. I had to call it off because he was in a delusional relationship. We decided to stay close friends after all, and I promised everyone back home that I’ll contact them once in every while I get. I love him as a friend, that’s all. Even if we stayed together, I couldn’t handle long distance relationships.
I wouldn’t know whether he was cheating, and I’ll be desperate for comfort, given of what happened in my life.
But for some reason, why… do I feel like it’s going to happen in Veronaville?
On the news, two people, teenagers were found dead on a long road, passing through here last night. The police suspect the victims were bitten by a venomous animal. However, the body was unharmed, the blood was completely dry.
Given back to previous history, there were similar murder cases back in the eighteenth century Veronaville.
A cool chill breeze jolted up my spine at that thought as me and my aunt drove through town to school.
The town seemed a little too perfect; everyone was happy, playing, working, the usual stuff. But there was only one type of species flying around the sky, and it wasn’t the common seagulls you get back in England. They were black crows with orange beaks. Other than that, everything was all bright fully coloured.
There was even happy alternative music bursting out in the car, my aunt swaying about slightly as she drove.
But then, that moment was gone.
My aunt gasped in horror, quickly pulling the car to a halt as something tumbled across the front car window, leaving a thud behind.
‘Did… Did I hurt someone?’ Claire refused to look at the road aside her, hands clenched tightly on the wheel, eyes closed tight shut, mouthing words in a quick repeated pattern. I rolled down the shaded window, poking my head at the floor and there hadn’t been anyone there. Not even an animal or bird.
I smiled, but let out a faint laugh. ‘No, you didn’t. Perhaps it was a ball,’ I shrugged, still smiling as she relaxed, loosening her grip on the wheel, driving again.
The school was just like most things, right off the highway, camouflaged with shrubs, trees, forests, but we could easily tell it was the right place because of the huge billboard sign claiming that this place is ‘Veronaville college,’ with a logo of a beaver in a blue and white sport team, which I’m guessing is their mascot, because of the ‘Go beavers’, motivation speech.
This doesn’t feel right.
Where was the metal detectors? Chain like fences? I shrugged effortlessly, clutching on to the door handle that I opened slightly.
Before I stepped out of the car, Claire wished me good luck at my new school and drove off from the car park.
Suddenly around here it was dark, rainy and gloomy. Back home in England that was when I knew something bad was going to happen. I just feel it, somehow. I keep feeling negative emotions, even though I shouldn’t really. There is nothing to be afraid off.
‘Hi, are you new here?’ A girl smiled happily from behind as I swiveled round. She had an olive tone skin, she wore vintage clothing, had a pile of study books secured in one hand, a short, bob, straight hairdo, blemish free… and she was just pretty. She flashed her pure white teeth at me grinning.
I nodded softly, folding my arms. ‘Yeah, I’m Elizabeth.’ I flushed a crimson red, suddenly feeling nervous.
First person talking to me… let’s hope she doesn’t think I’m a weirdo.
‘Oh! You’re the new English girl, right? I’m Skai,’ She had that, proper posh American accent to her when she was speaking normally. Or at least, I think it was normal.
‘Your brother passed by, already in the group of-’
‘Stoners?’ I sighed, dropping my head slightly to the ground.
She smiled awkwardly, nodding. ‘Yeah… that one,’ She glanced over to the distance, a creamy pale blonde girl ran towards Skai with a big grin glued across her face, tugging at Skai’s brown sleeve. Her eyes were heavily done, rogue lips, fair skin complexion, bright flowery clothing.
‘New cute guys? New English girl?’ She interrupted, grinning slightly, with a sarcastic tone of surprise in her voice. The girl beamed and jumped about in delight, noticing her face, she stopped and realized that I was here.
‘Are you the new girl?’ She grinned, with hope.
I nodded, feeling my cheeks go cold. ‘Yes, it’s nice to meet-’
She squealed and interrupted me, pulling me in for an excited hug. ‘Oh you even have the accents! That is so cool! Where are the cute guys? They here yet?’ She turned to Skai.
Boy she’s crazy for guys. I rolled my eyes, unsure whether to keep a straight face so I pulled a faint grin. Skai nodded, pointing over to the black Mercedes with black shaded windows. Coming out of the car first was a tall, broad muscular male. He was pale white, black sunglasses, a dead, pale skin complexion to his looks, hazel blackish brown, chopped up messy hair, a black leather jacket… black jeans, black t-shirt, I’m guessing. The other one looked related to him, but he just looked more lighter, grey t-shirt, and plain jeans and matching skin tones with his, predicatively, brother. Golden brownish hair, cherry red lips, perfect cheek bones, and from a distance they must be awhile head foot taller than me.
Everyone was gazing at them, including me. My heart fluttered and butterflies flew around my stomach, I felt lost in the moment, they were walking to the reception to sign in, and my god, they were just plain cute!
I found myself blushing heavily and heatedly as the golden brownish hair lifted his shades slightly, flashing of his beautiful golden brown eyes, putting them back down again. Leaving with his, possibly brother without a word, closing the reception door behind them.
‘Holy, crap.’ The blonde gasped as in what seemed like pleasure. I glanced over up at her, and she smiled back.
‘Oh yeah, I’m Eve,’ She waved angelically, flipping her perfect honey blonde, natural hair and twirled off to the reception.
The school day went the same, slow, tiring, and just plain torture. But when I arrived back home, finished dinner, had a painful conversation with my aunt having that awful talk with me at dinner, which Jason was lucky to be excused by to go upstairs and play video games.
Night came quickly, and I decided to go to bed early to write in my diary. Slowly drifting off to a deep, peaceful sleep.