9. "your my drug"
"Ruth....please open up. It's me baby. I love you and I know it's hard but you've got to let me in" Luke muffles through the door. I peak my eyes open to see that I am lying in a pool of blood. I sit up and press my body against the shower. Luke keeps mumbling to me but I block him out. I start the shower and strip all my clothes off. I step in and let the hot water hit my cuts. "SHIT!" I squeak yanking back from the water. I forgot it burns like hell. I stick them back under the water and bite my lip trying to avoid all the pain. "RUTH!!TALK TO ME! I HEARD YOU! TALK TO ME!" Luke yells again beating on the door. I roll my eyes and hit my head up against the wall trying to get rid of this damn headache but it only makes it hurt more. I finish washing up then out my clothes back on. I leave my wet curly hair as is and slowly crack open the door. Luke doesn't break the door down trying to get in but patio malty waits until I fully open it. He stands there with his head down. I look behind him to see Calum and Michael leaned up against each other asleep and Ashton flared out on the floor asleep. "Why?" Luke sniffles. I just shrug. "Stop doing that! Don't just shrug! I care about you and your trying to kill yourself!" He yells at me. I was already on the edge and he just pushed me off. I love Luke but he just set off a fucking time bomb. I'm not in the mood for anyone yelling at me. "WELL YOU KNOW FUCKING WHAT!? IF YOUR PARENTS AND BROTHER DIED TO YOU WOULD BE IN THE SAME CONDITION. IF YOU HAD ALL THE PROBLEMS I HAVE YOU WOULD BE LIKE THIS TOO! SO LUKE I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANY OF YOUR BULLSHIT! MY WHOLE FAMILY JUST DIES RIGHT IN FROMT IF MY FACE AND IT HURTS KNOWING ITS ALL MY FAULT! YOUR SO PERFECT AND YOU NEVER STOP TO THINK OF WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE TO BE IN MY SHOES! SO I SUGGEST THAT YOU BACK THE FUCK OFF LUKE! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE HATED! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN PEOPLE TELL TOU THAT YOU ARE A GOOD FOR NOTHING SPECK THAT IS JUST IN EVERYONES WAY! YOU DONT KNOWN WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE EVERYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU SHOULD JUST GO AHEAD AND KILL YOURSELF!!" I snap at him with tears steaming down my face. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. "I-I" "I love you Luke!" I say hugging his waist tightly. "I love you more...." He says wrapping his arms around my head and bringing us as close as we can get. I'm so bipolar. "We aren't going to school next week" he says while kissing my hair."Ok" I nod my head against his chest. "Come here" he says while sitting me down on top of the toilet. I hold out my wrists as he wraps them up in gauze. Before he can stand up I pull him down to his knees and make our lips collide. He holds my waist as I wrap arms around his neck. He's still taller than me even though he's on his knees. "Your my drug" He tells me while I pull away and press my forehead against his. "Same" I smile and intwine our fingers. Our hands rest on my thigh. He combines our lips again except this time roughly. He grabs my butt while standing up and I wrap my legs around his stomach. Not breaking the kiss he walks over into the living and to the couch. I run my fingers through his hair and we both lay down. I cuddle into his side while breaking the kiss. I remember my dad. The way we were dad and daughter but yet we were so close that we were best friends. I want to die but when I look at these four boys all that changes. When I look at Luke it makes me want to be as alive as possible. These boys are my everything. "You won't leave me like my dad did will you?" I ask softly. "Hell no!" Luke yells. "Good" I snuggle into the side of his chest. We lay there for about a hour just listening to each other's heart beats. "Let's eat something" Calum softly says while patting me on the leg. Me and Luke get off the couch and walk into the kitchen followed by Ashton and Michael. "Hey can you hand me some pizza rolls out of the fridge?" Calum asks pointing to me. I reach for the pizza rolls and get out about five boxes of them. Calum takes them from me and I hop up on the counter. Ashton makes his way over to me and stands in between my legs. "It's gonna be alright" I say patting him on the head. He looks at me with a sad expression then grabs my wrist softly. He glances at it then looks back at me furious. "Ruth! I told you to stop it!" He says then the tears start streaming down his face. "Shh shh Ashton I'm not going to do it anymore. I just got really upset." I say pulling him into a hug. He kisses the crook of my neck then hugs back. "There done" claim says handing me a box of pizza rolls. "Yumm" I say while popping one in my mouth. "I'm gonna go to my real home" I mumble when I get done eating my pizza rolls. Everybody stops what they are doing and silence invades the room. Everybody just stares at me like I have to heads. "Are you sure? I ll go with you!" Luke says jumping up. "No...I want to go by myself" I tell him. Ashton nods his head carefully. His curls bouncing up and down. I walk to the front door and head for my house. I really don't wanna go back but I have too. When I walk through the door Rhett comes trotting over to me. "Aww you hungry boy!?" I say while pouring him a big bowl of food. I walk through the hallways trailing my fingers over all the photos of my mom, dad, and me. Tears fight to come out but I don't let them. I go to my dad's and mine giant stereo. I push the button and the radio comes on. Surprisingly 'boulevard of broken dreams' comes on. I love this song but it kinda makes me sad. When it says "I walk alone" It makes me think of me and my family. I'm the last Dexter. Unless I have baby's or something. But that's not happening! I trace my dad's face in the photo. My dad was still so young. He was only thirty five. "Why did it have to be him?" I whisper to my self while letting one tears stream down my round cheek. "Why couldn't it have been me? He didn't deserve this...." I whisper again. I hear shuffling and I snap my head to see Luke standing with his hands in his pockets. He looks up and I give him a confused expression. "After everything that has happened do you really think I'm gonna let you just walk away like that?" He asks with a serious expression. "No. It shouldent have been you. Neither of you deserved this. He was a good man." Luke says bitting his lip searching for his lip ring that isn't there anymore. I just kinda shrug and look away. "I love you" he says while hugging me from behind and kissing my hair. "I love you too" I reply. I grab one of the pictures and whistle to Rhett. We walk out the front door with Rhett following.
No ones P.O.V
Weeks pass and everything just gets worse. No one has seen Tray since Ruth told him she wasn't scared of him. Everyone has been a lot meaner at school but Luke has been there to back up Ruth. The only people can truly trust anymore are the boys. The boys got a call from management saying that they wanted them to be the opening act for 1D. They aren't sure when they are leaving for tour but they are taking Ruth with them. Ruth has been having more break downs. Luke has takin her on a couple of dates to get her mind off of her dad. Ashton got Ruth signed as his little sister so she wouldn't have to go to an orphanage.