Rylie breathed in every detail of Luke, and as she watched him look down at the city, she felt a tingling deep in her soul that she had felt once before. However, this time it was different. It was more potent, and powerful. It was an amazing feeling, but it was so strong, it almost hurt. It hit her hard like a ton of bricks, but as soon as it went away, Rylie wanted more. She was already addicted to the feeling, and she knew Luke had given it to her.
"You promised..." Rylie whispered as she looked down at the small piece of parchment papers in her hands. She sat cross-legged on the edge of her bathtub in the middle of the night, not knowing why she decided that place to mourn over one of the last memories she shared with Michael. The nightmares had come, and Rylie couldn't stand going to sleep anymore.
Rylie, I will see you again.
No, he would never see her again. All Rylie has left of him is the note and her necklace. She missed him...more than anything. She missed a lot of people, especially Luke, and she wanted more than ever to have Luke cradle her in his arms so that they could help each other get better. Rylie had to forgive and forget.
I will live to see that day.
He didn't live to see another day. The steering wheel crushed the best part of him: his heart. Michael deserved a long life. He deserved to get married, and have a Little Mikey. He would never be able to have a child, or watch that child grow up. He could never sit with Luke, Ashton, or Calum, and just play music. Rylie knew he was in a better place, but she wasn't. She was slowly crumbling from the inside out without him.
Rylie could bath in the tears speeding down her cheeks. She wiped them away, and inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to calm down. She was tired of crying, but she knew no matter what she did, the tears didn't stop. Rylie had shed enough tears for a lifetime.
Rylie was so sad...but more than anything, she was angry. She was angry that everyone that she loved eventually left...somehow. As soon as she latched onto someone, they went away, or did some unforgiving thing. Why was it so hard to be happy? Rylie thought back to the hotel rooftop, and how she looked at Luke and felt that feeling that love gave you. That was the perfect moment where Rylie couldn't be happier. Her and Luke had so many memories. In a span of 3 months, they fell in love, and he had to go screw everything up. It wasn't fair. When was Rylie going to get her happy ending?
She just wanted to scream. Scream for everyone to come back so they could be a family again. She wanted to scream for everything to go back to normal.
Rylie groaned loudly in frustrated anger, and she pushed the makeup mirror by the sink off the counter, leaving it toppling down. It shattered in sharp pieces of glass and plastic. It was a lurch out of pure animosity, but Rylie liked the sound it made. It gave her pleasure to destroy something, and make it miserable like herself.
Rylie smiled with wicked humor, and stood up, looking for something else to break.
She walked into her room, and immediately pushed over her bedside lamp. The lamp hit the ground, sending small clusters of materials flying every which way.
Rylie laughed blissfully. It was a perfect distraction, and a short remedy for her pain. It was somewhat a metaphor for what she was going through. She was breaking into a million pieces because of forces around her.
She thought about Luke, and all the hurt he caused her. She pushed the bedside table to the ground, hearing shatters from the inside.
Rylie laughed hysterically, and thought of Paul. He was a horrible father. She sent her desk flying to the ground, and notepads, pens, and other stationery adorned her floor.
Rylie clenched her teeth, and screamed in a mix of downing emotions.
She thought of her mother, and how Rylie spent her whole life feeling like she didn't have one even when mom was right there. All the times Rylie was upset and her mother would scowl and tell her to suck up and start acting like an adult.
Rylie ripped the records from her wall, and broke them in half between her knee. She threw them to the ground, and kicked them across the floor, giving space for other things to break.
Lastly, Rylie though of Michael. She could never hug him, or tell him everything was going to be okay. He was gone. He was dead!
Rylie found the happiness from tearing apart her room no longer soothing. The adrenaline had worn off, and Rylie was pessimistic again. There was no hope for her getting better. Every time the pain dulled, it would come back with more fury.
She grabbed her stomach as it stabbed her with grief. Rylie fell to her knees, and crumbled to lay in the floor. She felt her shattered world around her, and it only made things worse. She felt the water flood from her eyes, and she placed her hand upon her cheek to feel the dampness.
Rylie's racking sobs could be heard all over the neighborhood, if they listened. It was a tortured sound, enough to meddle with someone's mind, and leave he or she stuck in the dark place where happiness is extinct. No one deserved to go to that place, and Rylie lived it in. She shivered at the sudden cold that overtook the room. Her thoughts roamed around her bedroom, and Katie could feel the despair as soon as she tore the door open.
"What is going on?" she screamed, tightening the belt of her robe. Her hair lifted in awkward places, and she didn't have time to fix it during her rush across the hallway.
Katie glanced around the room, and then she saw the shaking girl in the corner. She walked over, knowing she could offer no comfort.
Rylie knew of her presence, but the pain in her body left her immobile. Rylie's lip quivered as she let out another wailing sob. "When will it end?" she screamed, slamming her temple against the dirty wood floor.
Katie placed a slender, shaking hand on Rylie's back. "Do I need to take you to the hospital?" she whispered, fearful of Rylie's condition. Rylie looked up at her, and saw a blur. She shut her eyes, and didn't answer.
Depression had taken her. She had never suffered from depression, and maybe it was a mild case, but there was no other word to call Rylie's state of mind. She saw no hope; no future; she was almost sick with grief.
Rylie felt her stomach upturning, and she threw out the remains of the very few things she had eaten. Ultimately, it made her feel a tiny bit better. It was enough to make her calm down. Rylie assumed it was her nerves, and her dejected torment that made her puke, and her shivers stopped. Rylie pulled herself up, and opened her eyes.
Katie grimaced in front of her as she stared down at the chunky liquid. "You are..." Katie gulped, and tried to hold back a hurl. Rylie assumed she was slowly losing patience with Rylie's behavior. Katie got up, and brushed her knees of little pieces of record sticking to her skin. She glared at Rylie. "I have tried to be civil, but I'm done helping you. I care so much about you, but this is ridiculous."
Rylie nodded, completely understanding Katie. She wasn't mad. She was thankful Katie had been so comforting to her so long. She would've given up a long time ago. "I'm sorry..." she whispered, knowing it would do no good. She offered the statement anyways, hoping to soothe the tension in the room.
Katie sighed, and looked around the destruction of Rylie's room. "Clean this up." she said coolly, pointing a still shaking finger at the mess. She stepped out of the room, and slammed the door, making Rylie jump.
She hugged her knees, and looked around her room. What had she done? She had destroyed everything she owned, and all was left were broken remnants. She really was pathetic. Even Katie had given up hope with her. If Rylie could just get her act together and move on, maybe everything could improve.
Rylie pushed her body up to its full stance, and opened her bedroom door to retrieve downstairs.
"Your friend called again, by the way." Katie stated, surprising Rylie by her habitation in the hallway. She looked up, and saw Katie groping her knees as she leaned against her own bedroom door. She look tired as her eyes drooped lower than usual.
"What did he say?" Rylie asked, knowing Katie was talking about Niall. She was trying to be gentle in her words because she feared if she said something the wrong way, Katie would explode on her.
Katie sighed, and glanced into Rylie's fearful eyes. She didn't spoke but she somehow told Rylie not to have another panic attack again. Rylie nodded, reading her mind, and Katie looked back at the wall again.
"Michael's funeral is tomorrow. He said you don't have to come, but if you want to...it's in Gravestone Cemetery."
"Where else?" Katie spat. "Australia."
Rylie sighed. She had to go; even if she didn't want to. Looks like she was going to take a trip to Australia.