a/n: hey guys this is gonna be short I'm sorry but I just went to the iron bowl (for those who don't live in the south Eastern part of North America it's a big football game between the 2 best teams in the state. Alabama and Auburn (auburn sucked tonight tho)) and it's like one in the morning and I wanna listen to Ed Sheeran, 5sos, and 1d so yeah. I'm sorry if it's horrible I love you guys and thanks for reading this it means a lot. You guys make me happy!!
I woke up with a pile of boys on me. Looks like we moved in our sleep. My cuts were burning from all the friction on then while we were asleep. It stings really bad. How am I gonna get four huge teenage boys off of me?
I could wake them up...haha no.
Michael suddenly shifted in his sleep and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "Ugh, Mikey! Get up! Frick, how much do you weigh?!" I said wiggling around in his arms.
"No.." he whined. "Stop moving. Cuddle with meee!" He pouted dragging out the 'e'. I admit, it was adorable but I'm still being squished.
"Mikey! Get up please!" I said wiggling more. Maybe if I give him a bo-
"Stop moving, Bella!! I need cuddles!" He said pouting more. Awwh!!
"Michael Gordon Clifford get your ass up now!" His eyes shot open at the mention of his middle name.
"You didn't-" He started.
"I did." I smirked. Michael let go of me and sat up making the other boys groan. I got up and told Michael I was going to the bathroom.
"What am I gonna do? Oh god. I regret this I shouldn't have done it! God I'm so stupid!" I cried out sitting on the toilet. "What are mum and dad gonna say? What are the boys gonna say?! Oh god, what is Ashton gonna say?" I shook my head trying not to think about Ashton's reaction. It sure wasn't pleasant the last time.
I walked in my best friend, Ashton's, house. Sitting down I waited for him to come out here. He said he wanted to talk to me about something important. I'm actually kind of scared.
"Bella? You here?" He said. I nodded but giggled a bit when I realized he couldn't see me.
"Yeah, Ash. It's me." I called back. A few seconds later I heard his heavy footsteps come down the hall stairs into the hall.
"Hey uh, so I wanted to ask you something. Uhm, you know you can tell me anything right?" He said. I started getting nervous.
"Y-yeah, of course Ash." I said, my stomach feeling slightly uneasy for what was next to come out of his mouth.
"Uhm, so today someone from your school, uh, they showed me this picture of, uh, you. And, uh, it was really disturbing actually. Uhm, Bella are you, uh, self harming?" He asked. I'm pretty sure not even white paint could take this much color out if my face.
"W-well, uhm, who showed you that-uh--the picture?" I asked. The guys at school who bully me found my cuts and took pictures of them and, oh dear lord they showed him didn't they?
"Uh, a jock-ish looking guy with brown hair and green eyes. He said he was a senior and uh, his name was like Harry? Or something like that I don't know. And the other guy was black haired and had like hazel eyes." He looked right in my eyes as he said that.
"Ash, I'm sorry." I choked out, looking down.
"Bella, there's nothing to be sorry about. You're my best friend I can't get mad at you over something like that. It's not your fault you feel that way, but I think you should've handled it differently. You know I love you and I--Bella I can't lose you. And you know how I feel about self harm. Please promise you'll try not to hurt--" His voice broke as he let out a sob. "--hurt yourself again. Please just try. Whenever you feel like you want to--ya know--just call me. I'll pick up no matter where I am." He finished off finally letting his soft sobs and tears out fully.
"Thank you, Ash. Please don't tell Luke you know though. He'll kill me." I said with pleading eyes.
"I won't." He replied and pulled me into a hug.
I shuddered at the awful memory. I spent the night with him that night so I wouldn't have to go home to Luke's tormenting, which might make me cut again.
Maybe I just wouldn't tell Ashton or the boys. Or anyone for that matter. I could just keep it a secret until it fades away.
"Bella are you in there?" Ashton. Oh god, the panicking is now happening. Deep breaths Bella, deep breaths. You're okay.
"Yeah, Ash?" I called.
"Are you okay? I don't really remember--I was half asleep--but you went out of the lounge room pretty fast." He said slowly. I gulped and shut my eyes.
"Yeah I'm fine Ash. Just felt a little sick to my tummy a bit." I said, hoping he couldn't hear my voice shaking.
"Alright, do you need anything?" he asked. Ashton I love you I really do, but please leave.
"No I'm fine. I'll be out in a few minutes." I replied. I heard him sigh and mutter 'okay' and walk off.
"God, please don't let Ashton find out. He'll be disappointed in me and I don't wanna see the look on his face because I know it's me who let him down. please let me have this one, amen." Yeah I pray a lot. It kinda helped me through the boys being on tour.
I started listening to Christian music and my favorite band is Casting Crowns, I absolutely love them. I got to see them live a couple weeks ago and it was amazing. Mark Hall is freaking hilarious. (an: if anyone reading this likes casting crowns ily)
"Bella! Hurry!" Michael yelled. "I have to pee! God, girls take forever!" I flushed the toilet and walked out. What? I have to make it believable.
Walking back into the lounge room, the boys were already asleep again. I sat on the couch and laid my head on Ashton's shoulder, making him reposition and curl up into my side. He had a slight smile on his face and giggled a bit every now and then.
He's probably dreaming this exactly:
Sexy best friend Bella.
Yeah that's about right. It should be.
Soon enough Luke moved over and used my lap as a pillow. Oh, really?! I thought a while ago was the last bit of huge, buff, muscly teenage boys sitting/ laying on me.
"Oh. Dear Lord please, please don't let the boys find out! Please." I whispered, thinking no one would hear me. I was wrong.
"Find out what?"
Let's just say God didn't answer my prayers...
a/n: I'm sorry this probably really sucks but my mum and I were discussing the word 'ass' and she said she would rather me say 'that ass's' than 'that sucks'. 😂😂 My mum is chill sometimes.