Heyy so Vivian said I was bad at authors notes....girl I know I am you ain't gotta say nothin 😠💁 I really hope you guys like this chapter lol the plot I had in the original chapter fourteen and fifteen is gonna happen in here and chapter sixteen
I woke up to a bright light shining in my eyes. I cringed and closed my eyes tightly. I felt sick to my stomach and felt the need to throw up.
"Uh....." I groaned as the feeling in my stomach got worse. I rolled on my side and curled up on myself. What was happening? I don't even know.
"Oh my g-god, oh...." I cried out as tears came down my cheeks. They flowed quickly and fell onto the pillow.
Suddenly the door opened and as the nurse looked at me she rushed over and gasped. "What's wrong?" She asked with concern.
I finally stuttered out, "M-my t-tummy hurts..."
"Stay calm we're gonna get you help." She said and ran out of the room to get more help.
I passed out just as the group of doctors and nurses rushed in.
"Hey Mikey." I said as I walked in the house coming back in from my walk. I was wanting to get healthy again. Michael encouraged me to. My eating habits were getting out of hand and he wanted it stop. So now I'm doing it the healthy way.
"What am I chopped liver?" Ashton said pouting. I walked over and sat between them on the couch.
I turned to Ashton and smiled. "Oh, come on, Ashy you know I can't ignore youuuu!!!!" I said in a baby voice while pinching his cheeks. He giggled and pushed my hands away.
"Hey, babe." I said turning to Michael. He nodded at me and kissed my forehead. "You okay?" Michael nodded smiling slightly.
I think today is gonna be a good day.
"I'm hungry who's up for pizza?" I asked and laid my head on Mikey's lap. He threaded his cute chubby fingers through my hair. (a/n: tbh I think Mikey's hands are the cutest thing in the world)
"Me." All the boys...except for one....replied. I tried to get up. Key word: tried. Michael sat me back down and told Ashton to call and order the usual. Two cheese pizzas for me and Ash and two pepperoni for Cal and Mikey and Luke if he was here....
Ashton sighed but got up and ordered the pizza. "We have to go get it they don't have a car today, it broke down." He said as he walked back in. We all groaned.
"Alright." I said. "Ash me and you can go get it and you guys can stay here and play video games because when I get back we're watching mean girls."
The boys squealed and started quoting the movie randomly. "Hey, Bella. How about you do that dance to jingle bell rock for me?" Mikey leaned down and whispered to me. A blush crept up on my cheeks and I put my hand on his thigh.
"Depends on if I'm ready." I replied and winked at him. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped.
"You haven't had your first time yet? I figured a girl like you would've at least done it twice." He said and tickled my stomach lightly.
"Well, technically I have done it twice..." I regretted the words immediately.
"Who?!" He asked excitedly. I saw Ashton glancing up at Mikey and I.
I tried to avoid the topic of who I lost my virginity to. It was uncomfortable talking about it with Michael and Calum. It was weird to tell them who I lost it to as well.
"Hey Ash the pizza is probably ready by now don't you think we should go ahead and get it?" I asked and signaled towards the door with my eyes.
"Oh, yeah. Let's go. Bye guys we'll be back in a little bit." Ashton said as we both walked towards the door. "Bye, babe." I said and kissed Michael's head.
"Bye." He replied.
We got in the car silently and he started it up. "Bella..." He said. "we promised." He said in a calm voice, not taking his eyes off the road.
"I know, Ashton. Can we please not talk about it?" I said. He sighed and I barely caught the 'gladly' he mumbled.
The rest of the car ride was ridden in silence. "I'll go get the pizza." He said and slammed the car door shut. I know this was a hard thing to talk about but he doesn't need to snappy with me. Everyone makes mistakes and him, of all people, should understand that.
He got back in the car and set the pizzas in my lap. Once again, he started the car in silence.
"Please, don't." He said and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. "I don't wanna talk about it. I thought we were done talking about that earlier." He snapped. I was quiet for a whole until Ashton pulled in the empty lot behind an abandoned grocery store.
"Look, you can't tell anyone. We've done a pretty good job of hiding it for, what, three years? Two years? And no one has found out. We have to keep this a secret. I don't want you to get hurt." He said.
It wasn't until then that I realized he wasn't mad at me, but himself. He wanted the mistake to happen at the time but now regrets it.
"Bella, you have to promise me." He said.
"Ashton I promised three years ago." I said and he looked up at me. He had tears in his eyes. I searched his eyes. He seemed frustrated and angry with himself.
I grabbed him in a hug. "Ashton," I whispered, "they deserve to know. At least Michael-"
"No, no Bella you can't tell Michael. Please no y-you can't tell him. Bella I'm begging you. He will be so mad at me and I can't-"
"Shh, Ashton. He won't be mad if we handle it the right way. If we stay calm and say it slowly he won't be mad." I said. Ashton never cried. Never. Only when it involved me or one of the boys, his siblings or mum.
"Hey, we're gonna be fine." I said and wiped his tears. He started calming down and we were back on the road. The ride was once again silent but there wasn't any tension anymore.
We soon pulled up in the driveway and got out of the car. "I'm so hungry, oh my gosh."
"Yeah." Ashton replied and walked towards the door. I carried the pizzas as he unlocked the door and held it open for me.
"Boys pizzas here!" I yelled. The house was silent. No response.
"Mikey? Calum?" I called out. Ashton and I looked at each other for a second.
"I'll call Michael." I said.
I grabbed my phone and started to dial his number only to find he left his phone on the couch. I grabbed it and put it in my pocket. "Wherever they went Michael left his phone here." I told Ashton.
"And Calum's not answering." He said with a worried look on his face. I frowned.
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see if they come back." I said and sat down, Ashton copying my actions. "Yeah, guess so." He replied and laid his head on my shoulder.
It had been three hours. Ashton and I had moved to the lounge room because the couches were more comfortable. We were cuddled up on the small recliner and had the biggest blanket we could find, watching finding Nemo.
"Do you think they'll call?" I asked looking up at Ashton. He sighed and shrugged. "I mean, it's a possibility. But there's no way to know for sure."
"I'm really worried." I said with a shaky voice. What if's filled my mind as I started breathing heavier. My once steady breaths were now short gasps, needing any type of way to get oxygen in my lungs.
"Hey, calm down. It's okay, they're okay. Everything is okay." Ashton said and rubbed my back as he pulled me into his lap, tightly hugging me.
"Oh, babe, you've been doing so good, it's okay just breathe with me." He said and put my hands on his chest. I felt Ashton's pulse.
"It's as f-fast as m-mine." I said referring to his heart rate. He nodded and calmed his heart a bit before telling me to put my hands on his chest again. His heart rate was a steady beat.
Thump, thump-thump, thump, thump-thump, thump, thump-thump.
I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He stroked my hair and my breathing eventually calmed down. "Ashton, what if they-"
He didn't give me time to finish my sentence before he shushed me. "No, they're fine. Stop thinking about the negative thoughts. Maybe they went out somewhere to get something off their minds." He said and looked down at me.
"Maybe." I whispered. "hopefully."
I didn't pray a lot. But this was one of those times when praying and crying was all I could do. I don't know how to handle things like this. Being so broken and having all this horrible stuff happen all in the same time period. Being broken before the accident happened was okay but now, I can't hide it. It's consuming me, my demons struggled for a long time to see the outside and now, they see it. My broken heart is showing through me. Like a diamond in a glass case. It could fall apart with a simple wrong touch.
I don't know how I lasted this long.
'Bella,' A voice in my head whispered. 'You love her, Michael'
I thought about it for a moment. Maybe I am in love with her. Of course Luke would kill me and probably warn me a thousand times not to hurt her, but that's the thing she's worth it.
"Mr.Clifford, Mr.Hood, follow me." A tall lady with brown hair said sweetly. I stood up, along with Calum. He looked at his feet as we walked. I didn't look anywhere.
"We have good news and bad news." A man said once we arrived at a fancy looking office. Calum and I sat down in the leather chairs.
"He can be fixed," The doctor started explaining about what it would take, he's talking about Luke like he's a robot or something. With all the shit about how he can be 'fixed'. Like what the hell man.
"One more thing, the bad news. Did you two know your little friend had an eating disorder and anxiety?"
No one said a word.
Heyy here's the update hope y'all enjoy it!!!!