After the pile of Thomas stops moving, I take a step back. I look at him, with a small pool of blood near his face.
I am ashamed.
As I fall to the ground, I only put out one hand to break the fall. But that's not enough to stop me. I hit the dirt hard. My hand bends underneath my body as my weight is pulled down. I can hear a snap when my head hits.
Before I fade to black, I see a golden figure running towards me.
As Alexandra brings her heel down on Thomas's back, I smile. I knew she would win.
Then, she falls, her brown hair covering her face. I hear a snap and bolt out of my seat. I run to her and put her in my arms.
She lets out a moan and then becomes limp in my arms. I yell for the medjacks to come get her, bring her to the tent. The crowd stands in awe.
The rest is a blur. They come and take her to the tent. I don't follow. I just walk in the other direction, back to the Name Wall. I think of what a terrible decision I made. Now all the Gladers know. I care about the Greenie.
I don't care about Alexandra. I need to make that image clear. The Gladers can't know. Only I can know.
When everyone else goes to bed, I sneak out of my hammock and go to the medical tent. No one is there except for Gally, Thomas, and Alexandra.
I sneak to the side of her cot and grab her hand. It's warm. I put it up to my nose and take in her scent. She smells like cocoanuts. Maybe she came from an island.
I put her hand down and look at her hair. It's flowing next to her head. I take a piece of it and rub it between my fingers. So soft.
I want to have her. Bottle her up and keep her forever where she can't get hurt. I want to put her somewhere where no harm can come to her. I want to protect here.
"Bloody hell." I whisper. Now I've got a true problem.
I lean down to her ear and softly say, "Alexandra, I don't want anyone to know, but I care about you. I want you to be okay. I don't want these Shanks to beat you up. If you can hear me, meet me at the edge of the forest tomorrow night. I can't tell you anything in public."
As I walk out to go back to bed, I look back at her. A smile has crawled onto her face.
As I gain consciousness, I can hear someone next to me. They sit down. I don't want to open my eyes. I am still unconscious.
Whoever it is, reaches for my hand and holds it. They rub their thumb along the back and I know right away who it is.
After a minute or two, he puts my hand back down and grabs a piece of my hair. He rubs it between his fingers. Then, he suddenly drops the piece and whispers Bloody Hell.
I want to comfort him, not act dead. But I can't now.
Then, I can feel him lean down next to my ear. "Alexandra, I don't want anyone to know, but I care about you. I want you to be okay. I don't want these Shanks to beat you up. If you can hear me, meet me at the edge of the forest tomorrow night. I can't tell you anything in public."
I smile. He cares about me. He wants to meet tomorrow.
Yes, Newt. I'll see you tomorrow night.