I pressed down a bit harder on the razor. This one is a bit dull. I grabbed a different one and cut open my the skin on my wrist. *BEEP BEEP BEEP!* There's my alarm. 'Great... Another fucking day of torture' I say in my head. I always wake up before my alarm goes off. I barely sleep. I'm lucky if I get 5 hours. I grab some toilet paper and stop the bleeding before I get into the shower. I dry off, and throw on ripped black skinny jeans, my green day shirt, a flannel, and black vans. I don't know why people bully me so much, I dress normal don't I?
I walk downstairs, straight past the kitchen and go grab my bad by the door. I don't eat because I don't wanna get fatter and I don't bother saying bye to my parents because they're either to busy to notice me or they don't say it at all. I'm glad my house if close enough that I can walk to school everyday. Then I don't have to ride a bus with a bunch of people who hate me and make me feel like complete shit.
Before I walk into the school, I prepare myself like I do any other day. Prepare for what you ask? For the war. The war against myself and the others. Others: the popular kids that make me feel the way I do. "Look everyone, it's the dyke!" says Daniella and everyone laughs. I'm not even a lesbian, I don't know why everyone thinks that. Probably because I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 17. Every girl at my school had a boyfriend at least once but now me. "She's so ugly" whispers some people while I walk down the hall. That part is true. I am ugly. And I fucking hate it.
I get my shit out of my locker for first period. Science. I'm actually good in school. But the only thing that lowers my grades is the fact that I don't do homework. I'm too busy hating myself to do anything else. I walk in class and everyone stares at me. "Fuck" I say under my breath. I hate when people stare at me because I know what they're thinking. I sit in my regular spot in the back corner where I will be ignored.
"Class, a new student will be joining us today. His name is Calum Hood. He just transferred from a school in Australia." Mrs. Hall said. I saw him walk in with his brown eyes and brown hair, muscles, and a decent face. He wore black skinny jeans and a Green Day shirt. Exactly like mine but with the arms cut off. 'Great... Another douchebag who's a player and will think I'm ugly just like the rest of them' I thought to myself. "You can sit down in the empty desk next to y/n." Mrs. Hall said motioning towards me. 'Shit that's me?!?! Fuck please don't sit here.' I said to myself trying to look as normal as possible so he doesn't think I'm that big of a freak.
He sat down his books and took a seat. Mrs. Hall started teaching. "So, I'm guessing you're y/n" Calum said. I nodded. "I like your shirt" he added. "Thanks, I like yours too" I mumbled. Calum chuckled to himself which made a smile creep upon my face. I don't remember the last time I smiled without force.
Mrs. Hall came around and passed out papers with an assignment on them. I reached out and grabbed mine. My flannel sleeve slid down and revealed a wrist full of fresh cuts and scars. I quickly put the paper on my desk and moved my sleeve to its previous placement. Calum looked at me. 'Shit, fucking shit. Did he see?!?! He probably thinks I'm a big ass freak. Fuck!!' I thought to myself. I forced a smile and read my paper.
'You and your seating partner will be expected to present an Eco environment display. Due a month from now' The rest of the paper had the expectations we had to uphold.
'Shit, this means I have to see this guy everyday after school to make this shit project. Fuck me'
"So I guess I'll be seeing you after school" Calum said smirking. "I guess so.." I replied/mumbled. He flashed a look at my wrist, I looked down and saw that they weren't covered. 'Fuck, I really need longer sleeves.'
*RINGGGGG* the bell rang and I grabbed my shit and practically ran out of the classroom and went on with my day knowing that Calum saw the cuts. Fuck me.