library | h.s

that was the first time i genuinely felt like i belonged | a harry styles fanfiction by r.c. (please keep in mind that my first language isn't english)


3. two



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when i finally had enough courage to talk to you, i had no courage even though i tried to convince myself otherwise. i was so petrified, but i knew it wasn't healthy for me to just sit and stare at you. so for the sake of selfcenteredness i took all the courage i had in my body - which was none - and sat besides you in the sofa. 

you didn't look up from your book immediately, you finished a chapter first. but when you did, a little shy smile was on your lips. i was too afraid to smile. 

the biggest coward on eart, a k a harry styles.


"hi," i said to you and i could've have slappet myself in that moment. it didn't have to be awkward, i was just so embarassing of a person in general, that i made it awkward. 

you looked af bit confused, but cute at the same time, with the little button nose of yours and your big bambieyes.


and then the confused face you'd put up died out, and your face lit up in a smile. 

"hello!" you said, excited.


i stuck out my hand. "im harry," i said, and you shook my hand, still smiling. 

it made me dizzy.

"im c.j." you said. "well, thats not my real name, but you know what i mean."

i couldn't help but laugh at you. you were so overly excited and at that moment it felt like the greatest decision i had ever made, just to talk to you.


"i was blabbing again, wasn't i?" you spoke again. "im so sorry, gosh."

"why are you saying sorry?" i asked, curious. you were so sweet, nervous and a bit flustered.

you touched your hair, not knowing what to say. "i dont know," you admitted after what felt like hours, but only were seconds.

i smiled at you. "thats okay."


and we talked.

the next hours we talked about everything, mostly books. you told me what you were reading, and i told you about the problems i had with reading, and you pitied me. 

you didn't say it - you were polite enough for that. i could just see it on you, you pitied me, felt so sorry for my small case of dyslexia. 


when the librarians asked us to go because they had to close the library, we went outside together. you had to bike home, where i could walk home. 

"see you," you said, briefly touching my shoulder, making my whole body shiver.


"tomorrow?" i quickly asked without thinking. i regretted it within seconds. i felt so embarrassed because it had sounded like i asked her out, and we'd only just met.

she blushed. "yes, tomorrow sounds good. see you." 

i looked at her, but i could only see a girl, cycling away from me with her brown hair dancing in the wind.


i sighed. 



a/n: i'm trying to describe how fascinated of c.j. harry is, but its hard without making him seem to in love.. LOL. 
what do you think of c.j. so far? 

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