I swung my head around to the small wooden box sat next to my bed. I flicked the little hook lock and opened it up, for a moment I felt at piece when I saw that worn out old portable music player that Wendy had given to me. It was the only thing that anyone had given to me that I truly loved, and used often. I never let anyone even see it, let alone know that It actually worked. Raven didn’t even know it existed. Music was all the same dull sounds before I heard those tapes Wendy gave me. They all stood I a row next to player, topped with dust. Those songs were different, I had never heard them anywhere else, no one had ever spoke of any of the singers, in fact when Wendy gave me these she told me to never let anyone see them. Then she would mutter on about how in her childhood her mother showed her things that no one else could see or understand, and how the shades were different back then, they were called colours, I loved her to bits but she wasn’t completely mentally sound so when she would obsess over these things I would often stop her or just phase out. All I knew was that these singers’ lyrics showed me that we were made to live, not to exist, in a way nothing else could. They sang on love like it was a miracle, which could happen to anyone, and of sadness like it mattered, but was possible to over come, no matter how weak you felt. All I wanted was to show someone else what I saw in these songs, and enjoy it with them, in the hope that maybe, they would start to see life in the way I saw it. As a but alas I started giving up hope on that dream, not many dreams could be followed in the end it seemed, my parents showed that in abundance, I thought. Which reminded me, it was early mourning. So I wondered where the young girl was, to creep out of my father’s bedroom, and tip toe down our creaking stairs, as if we were unaware, and she could just fade off into the night. It used to be a game which me and Raven would play most nights If he had a different woman over; we would stay up all night and see who could do it, just to watch her leave, it was game she mostly won, I don’t know why she wanted to do it, but I joined her in anything she would let me. I thought of it while I walked over to my door to go down into our small living room and drift off to sleep in front of the TV. But this mourning, I heard nothing. I pushed the door open with the palms of my hands cautiously, and stepped out into the hallway. I crept down to my parents bedroom, but before I could get there my feet suddenly felt cold and wet, I stared at the floor beneath me, it was soaked in blood, dripping down from the door way. I gazed towards the closed room. And reluctantly continued to traipse up to the scene. Heavily breathing, I tried to control the fear inside me from rising up, and ecstasy of fumbling for the door handle seemed to last forever until finally I shoved it open. My gaze was immediately fixed on the lifeless corpse of my fathers mistress sprawled out on the floor like the dirty clothes that surrounded her. Everything went in slow motion, her body still twitching by my feet, I stared up to my mother knelt on the floor with her hands choking his bruised neck, with tears streaming down her bloodied face and dripping onto her tensed arms. She glanced away from his face, and loosened her grip, she had realized I was there, and then she saw what she had done. She stopped stiff, her whole body was paralyzed as her eyes fixed on me “… I am so sorry” she whispered stuttering from shock. She looked into my eyes and I stared back at her, my stance softened, I saw the pain in her eyes, it was far deeper than I had imagined. I felt winded, I couldn’t say anything, the air seemed thinner, I could barley breath. I watched as her shaking hand reached out to the sharpened knife that led between the two half clothed bloodied bodies. But she didn’t grab it, her hand stopped short, she collapsed onto his twitching body. Weeping she tried to shout but what came out was a weak mumble of “ I loved you..” repeated over and over again. I fell to the ground in complete shock, the situation only just starting to hit me. Before my knees even touched the floor I was jolted forward by the force of Raven stumbling into room, she uttered a blood curdling cry, that scraped my eardrums raw before shooting two bullets into the skull of the murderer, the manipulator, the selfish woman, but also into the skull of my mislead, trapped, and abused mum. Every fiber of my body conflicted with each other. The pistol fell to the ground in front of my face with a thud and she crumbled, slumped down, putting her arm around my shoulders for support, it was then, that I saw the first tear fall from her cheek since we were children. I looked up at her face, it reminded of shattered glass for she was just so elegant fragile, she looked back at me in agony, “I..I.I had to.” she shuddered, “..Right..?” she added after she looked at my blank expression, I said nothing; I pulled my sleeve up to my hand and wiped the tears now streaming down her cheeks. I hugged her tightly for the first time in years. Her hair smelt of luscious lavender, and it instantly took me back to all of the innocent memories we shared together, but they were so faded that I just couldn’t escape, It was always so easy to zone out into my own world, it was how I coped. But the lavender was tainted with the smell of mutilated flesh by now. It suddenly hit me we were the only two people left in a murder scene of three people, we had to get out of there, and quickly, Raven obviously hadn’t realized this yet, but if we didn’t leave as soon as we could we would be killed by the end of the week, the chances were not good, but at least we had a chance. That was all we could hope for. Raven let go of me, and we both looked at each other at the same time, I could almost see the same thought of panic in her head, all of the same cogs turning, she looked away mouth open, she was stunted for words. She rose up cautiously, still in absent-mindedly shock and I stood up with her. She took one stride out then sprinted into her room. I would of followed but I remember the tiny object that Wendy had dropped under the bed. I dropped to my hands and knees peering under the bed to get it. I couldn’t see anything, and the blood on the carpet was begging to seep through my dress, but then I saw a tiny glint of light from under the bed, I reached my hand in to get it, and just managed to grab it. When I pulled it out, I realized it was, a tiny key, about 2 inches long. “What could this possibly be for to open?...was she trying to be ironic or something..? Hell of a lot of effort for a metaphor...” I thought, laughing to myself. I quickly put it into my pocket and stood up. I could hear Raven loudly fumbling around her room. Then she appeared again and stood by her door like a soldier awaiting instruction. I stepped into my room and grabbed my bag; with all the essentials I could think of in it, along with of coarse, the little box.
By the time I came back out she was still stood bolt upright shaking. I seemed to be incredibly calm but I could feel the pain and fear brimming the surface, I kept it under control but I didn’t know how much longer I could cope, i stopped thinking, and started doing. But what could I do? I never thought it would ever get to this, what would happen now, would we be put into foster care? The thought crossed my mind that maybe we should of called the police, try to clear Ravens name to them, and then live with a foster family..? No we couldn’t, they would never believe us, I mean Raven shot her with a damn rifle! I was still shocked, and underneath it all a little impressed.. The evidence was conclusive though. By any means why would they believe us? No one in this town would even bother to give us a fair trial, if any trial at all…. We could never come back from this. “ We have to run” I said emotionlessly, she nodded. I weighed up in my head where we could go, I had to disassociate myself from the situation completely ask myself what advice would I give someone if they asked me what to do, then it hit me, where do people ask for advice from? “ The church!” I am sure we could hide out there, round the back or something like that, the more I thought about it the more confident I was.
That day as we trudged through mud the stench of decomposing mutilated flesh haunted my every step, while flashes of their torpid eyes awaited me around every corner. We crept through the alleyways behind the concrete walls of people’s homes, where families lead, most still sleeping with innocent dreams that filled their rooms. I felt as if the air i touched beside them was now tainted, and every step I took left bloodied footprints revealing my guilt, an as if every breath I took was loud and obvious. I became so self aware that I could help but be irritated by my own presence. It felt like I had never been silent for that long before, my thoughts were constantly ran around in my head but I had no way of expressing them. I turned to look at Raven her face was the palest white I had ever seen and she was shaking violently. She jerked her head forward and puffed her cheeks as if gagging to throw up, but composed herself and kept walking. “Such a fragile little thing” I thought to myself. Although she was older than me I had always seen her as a younger sister, even through all of her misguided anger towards me. I had always felt bad for her, almost responsible for her. When I looked at her I still saw a frightened little girl, and this proved it. She had never understood the world around her, and never accepted most of it. She denied almost everything that didn’t fit with the values and narrow-minded view that she was taught to have. School, parents, the world, they all molded her in any way they could. While I was left to my own devices, she had life planned out for her, I was able to sit and watch the world. I learnt some of its loop holes and tricks that she was completely blind to. Would she survive? The odds seemed too grim to weigh up.
We were out; I knew that was a step in the right direction, but now what…? The only thing to do was to find somewhere to sleep, the nearest hiding spot would do, I knew that Raven would not fuss about where we went to