I walked along the concrete path annoyed with myself I was playing Good Charlotte loudly probably to loud but um who cares? Not me, I walked through my front yard opening the door. I kicked my shoes off and set my phone and keys in the key bowl we had in our front entrance.
"Hey, Steph and Amelia?" I call out my daughter runs up to me well her chubby legs kinda I don't know but it wasn't really running, I crouch down and we embrace tightly. Amelia was my little one year old miracle. She had dark auburn hair like me, icy blue eyes that she hadn't inherited from me since my eyes are green.
"Mummy." Amelia says I kiss her head and hold her tighter.
"Awe." My best friend choruses I giggle and let Amelia go play. I stand up and hug Steph she returns it.
"How was your day?" I ask as we sit on the couch of our apartment. Steph turns on the TV and flips through.
"It was good, and yours?" She says as she decides on a KUWTK re-run.
"That's good, I had an alright day I guess I was at the dance studio before work and a random asked me out." I tell her whilst watching Khloe have a go at Kim.
"Yeah Stella getting all the guys." Steph cheers we laugh we hear a scream from outside, we run out the back door to see Amelia had fallen over on the pavers her knee was bleeding, I keep running up to her I hold her bridal style she wails loudly.
"Sssh sssh princess." I try to calm her as I bring her inside my heartbreaks every time she cries I feel my own eyes well up as I bring her inside.
I set Amelia on our bench as Steph hands me a first-aid kit I find the alcohol wipes.
"Princess this will hurt a little bit." I say opening the packaging I wipe it across her bloody scraped knees she wails louder I feel awful. Steph hands me a band-aid. I carefully place one on each knee. I look at her hands she scraped the bottom of her palms. I wiped her skinned hands she was still crying.
"C'mon princess." I say holding her small body I sit on the couch with her and turn the TV to cartoons. She calmed down a bit was gasping for air.
We watched some Playschool half way through Amelia fell asleep.
"Stella you are a great mother, you know that right?" I hear Steph whisper from the door way as I lifted Amelia off the couch we walked towards her room.
"I hope I am, but she's only one right now I'm scared when she gets older I'll make more mistakes, I just don't want to be my parents." I confess laying Amelia down in her race car bed we walked out. I was always scared of turning into my parents, they left me when I was 13 because I wasn't worth enough. It was okay though they left me with my grandparents who I love.
"Stella your never going to leave Milly, your not an alcoholic drug addicted bum, your too smart for that." Steph argues we were standing outside Amelia's shut door.
"I know I just want the best for her and I want to be perfect." I sigh Steph holds my shoulders and looks me dead in the eye.
"Stella, nothing in this world is perfect but the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be." Steph says we hug tightly.
"Thank you." I whisper in her ear, when I got pregnant at 17 and had to leave school every single one of my last friends left me they called me a slut and never talked to me again. My grandparents were understanding and stood by me I left home because it was time.
"I'm always gonna be here." Steph says I nod and let her go into her room, I walk into my own room and lay on my bed I stared at my ceiling.
I wondered why that boy asked me out I wasn't anything special. I mean I wasn't ugly per say but I had faults lots of them more than most girls, plus falling in love gives you a false sense of security the he leaves and I don't want Amelia being brought up around that. I want a stable life for her with a man who treats her like she's his own flesh and blood.
I got up to change out of my work clothes. A pencil skirt and blouse, I was a receptionist at a doctors office. I changed into something more me.
A loose fitted coca-cola tank top, black high waist shorts, thongs (flip flops) on my feet. I left my make-up on and tied my hair up into a ponytail. I felt comfortable, I stretched my arms above my head my shirt rose up and I could see my belly button ring.
After I had Amelia I worked hard at the gym to get my body back, as a reward to myself I got my belly re-pierced. I already had it done before Amelia but had to take it out while I was pregnant.
I walked into the kitchen and tidied up a few things. It was Stephanie's turn to cook so I went a got my phone and sat at the bench. I scrolled through Facebook whilst playing with my nose ring. I saw a post it caught my eye a little.
It was about orphan children in Africa. I read through the article tears welled up in my eyes. I felt a tear slip down my cheek.
"Ah, shit." I cursed to myself wiping it away. I stood up off the bench and went into Amelia's room.
I walked over to her railed bed peering in at her tiny body. She was curled up in her purple comforter, her red hair splayed out against her matching purple pillow. I brushed the knotty red mess off her face gently.
Her pink lips were pouted, her face smoothed out in peace. She stirred a little I stroked her face and her blue eyes fluttered open.
"Hi princess." I whisper softly.
"Mummy." Amelia shrill voice sings out, she sits up in her bed rubbing her eyes frowning.
"C'mon honey it's time to get up." I say picking her up a foul smell fills my nostrils I scrunch my face up.
"Did Milly do a stinky." I ask in a baby voice tickling her tummy she giggles.
"Poo poo." She giggles I laugh and set her down on her change table.
"I don't wanna cook let's have a pub dinner." Steph says entering my room without permission as I shook the jingly toy in front of Milly.
"Yeah sure." I say getting off my bed and picking up Milly. I slide my thongs on and grab my phone off charge along with my purse.
"My car." Steph orders holding up the keys to her second hand Toyota Camry.
"Hey there is nothing wrong with my car." I argue when everything was wrong with my car it was a lemon.
"Oh no not at all." Steph gasps sarcastically. I laugh as we walk to her car I set Milly into her car seat strapping her in.
"Broom broom." She says I nod.
"Yes princess broom broom." I reply getting into the passenger seat. I look at Amelia through the review mirror she's playing with Polly her favourite toy. I smile at the memory.
I walked through the door with my new baby I was exhausted. She was so tiny in her little bassinet her crusty red face.
She blew bubbles out of her mouth. It amazed me how freaking tiny she really was.
"Oh look at her." I hear Aunty Polly say. Polly was our neighbour she was really good friends with my grandparents.
When I was a little girl I would drink tea at her house and she would give me gifts. Polly also shared her wisdom with me.
"I know she's tiny right?" I laughed as Polly's wrinkled finger traced Amelia's face.
"And so beautiful." Polly said in awe fixing Milly's beanie I smiled at Polly.
"Steph says she looks like a troll." I giggled setting her bassinet on our kitchen table.
Polly just laughed I joined in.
"I have something for you." Polly said pointing to Amelia.
"Oh Polly you didn't have to." I said meaning it Polly spoiled everyone but herself.
"Nonsense darling of course I need to spoil this little one." Polly said picking up an unnoticed wrapped gift off of a chair.
"Wait Polly I need pictures." Nanna said entering the room with her vintage Polaroid camera.
"Of course you do Lynette." Polly said I watched the old women joke and banter hoping that would be Steph and I one day.
Polly helped Milly open the package and it revealed a little purple bear it had a white belly with the words.
Inscribed with purple stitching. I loved it Amelia put the bear in her gummy mouth sucking on its head.
"Oh Polly I love it." I say hugging her she returned the hug.
"Oh dear I'm glad you do."
End of flashback
We had reached the pub by now and I missed Polly.
Two weeks after that Polly was murdered. I hated the fact that she did nothing wrong to the man who shot her but he killed her anyway. My eyes welled up a little I pushed it back swallowing the lump in my throat.
Steph and I walked into the pub and to an outside table the summer breeze that came through was amazing.
"Stephe." Amelia sings we laugh.
"Drinks?" I ask Steph she thinks.
"A beer thanks." She says I nod as she gets Amelia her sippy cup of water from the nappy bag.
I walk over to the bar as a middle aged woman with blonde dreadlocks walks over.
"Hi love what can I get you?" She asks.
"Two stubbies (Stubbies are what Aussies call beer bottles) of corona please." I order handing her the 10 dollars I had. "Keep the change too." I say knowing I'd only get like 3 dollars out of it.
"No problem love coming right up." She says walking off to the back my phone dings with a message. I pull it from my bra and read my message
Stephy bear- hey get food whilst your there I want fish n chips please love you 😝💕
I laugh I don't bother to reply to her. I am handed my drinks I thank the lady as I head over to the food window holding the cold bottles in one hand.
"Hi what would you like?" A man asks.
"Hi I would like 2 orders of fish n chips please." I say he writes it down on his paper.
"No worries." He says handing me my table number.
I walk back out to Steph a boy with curly brownish blondish was leaning over our table. Talking to Steph she's laughing with him I can only see his back but damn he has some muscle.
I walk up to them hoping Steph didn't use my baby to pull.
"Oh Ash this is Stella Amelia's mum." Steph says eliminating any thought that she used my princess to pull a guy.
"Hi Stella I'm Ashton." He says in a very Aussie accent.
"Well hi Ashton." I say setting the beers on the table I take a sip of mine.
"Ash has a few mates coming, is it okay if they sit with us?" Steph asks with pleading eyes.
"Yeah sure." I shrug.