And I Hope It Stays Like That

Imogen-Hope is a 15 year old girl who is suicidal and is extremely close to killing herself. But when the popular boy at her school starts showing interest in her she begins to see light at the end of an extremely dark tunnel. But can Alex change her life forever, or is it already to late.


19. Chapter 18


“See you later Mala! Thanks for letting us see the butterflies!” I shook hands with the smiling man whilst saying our goodbyes.  I was also smiling. I hadn’t stopped. She loves me. She told me she loves me! Somebody loves me again! I also can’t stop smiling because my body still feels like it tingling since the kiss me and Imogen shared.

She was stood behind me, waving at Mala as we walked out the door.

“It was nice to meet you Imogen! I hope I see you around here soon? You don’t have to come with Alex either, you are welcome when ever if you would like to draw the butterflies again. But please remember, no pictures!”  I swear, Mala speaks way too quickly.

Imogen just smiled as a sign of thank you and waved again. As we stepped outside I shivered-December is way too cold. Imogen was walking next to me so I took her hand in mine, feeling warmer instantaneously. She smiled up at me and I felt my knees go weak. She doesn’t even realise the affect she has on me!

We began walking home. It was already two-thirty and it was a 45 minute walk home so I still had plenty of time to spend with her. Although it still wouldn’t be long enough.

“Alex?” Her voice was quiet and wary which upsets me. I don’t want her to be nervous around me.

“Yes Imogen. And don’t sound so nervous! It’s only me!”

“Okay sorry,” She smiled at me looking a little more confident than she did before. “You know what I aspire to be when I leave school, but I don’t know about you. What is your dream job?”

I wasn’t expecting something so normal, so I was taken aback slightly. I thought about it for a couple of seconds and then looked at her and smiled.

“I want to be a child psychologist because I want to be able to help kids like... like you. I want to be able to help kids smile like I have you. I want to be the person they go to talk to. I just want to be able to help them.”

She looked surprised and happy at the same time and I could tell what I had said meant a great deal to her.

“That’s really sweet. I know you’d be great at it. I mean, like you said, you helped me, so I’m sure you could help others too.”

We carried on walking home talking about a variety of things ranging from our favourite TV shows (both of our favourite is Criminal Minds) to our least favourite lesson in school. That made me laugh actually because her favourite lesson is English yet that is my least favourite lesson and her least favourite lesson is PE yet that is my favourite.

As we grew closer to her home I felt dread building in my stomach. I was dreading letting go of her hand. I wanted her to stay close to me. I knew I would see her tomorrow but what about the time in-between?  What if she hurts herself again?

My mind was reeling with questions like this by the time we made it to her house. My heart sank when I saw her gate.

Imogen turned towards me and smiled “Well this is me, but you already know that because you’ve walked me home for the past four days.” I rolled my eyes at the sarcasm in her voice and chuckled slightly.

“You have a phone right?” She nodded. “Give me your number. If you ever need to talk or you ever feel like you are going to hurt yourself again, I’m only a phone call away.”

“Thank you Alex, that’s all I need some nights. Somebody to talk to.” She smiled at me and she had a look of relief in her eyes.

“You’re very welcome.”We exchanged numbers and I smiled back at her, looking into her eyes. It was one of those moments where I felt like time had stood still.

She moved her gaze to my lips and then went on her tip toes and kissed my cheek. I smiled as I felt her lips against my skin.

She pulled away and stepped back, her cheeks tinted crimson. “See you later Alex.”

She turned to walk away but I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her gently. I heard her breath catch in her throat as I pressed my lips to hers and I felt her body relax. I wrapped one of my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me, my other hand still holding her face. I felt tingles down my spine and goose bumps raise on my arms. This is perfect. I could kiss her forever and never get bored.  She is perfect!

We pulled away, both of us trying to catch our breath. She brought her fingers to her lips and smiled. Without a word she turned and went inside. I was stood at the end of her garden path smiling like a fool. Even now she has gone inside I could still feel her lips on mine. So soft, so perfect.

I turned around to make the journey home. I wanted to stay there, outside her house, so I don’t have to be any further away from her than that. Wait, now I sound creepy. But it’s true; I don’t like being away from her. I don’t like not being close to her. Not seeing her eyes or her smile. 

Honestly, what has this girl done to me?

When I got home I realised my parents car was in the drive.

I walked through the door with a genuine smile on my face instead of the usual fake one that I plaster there so it doesn’t look like I am dying on the inside. That’s what my parents do to me. Kill me without even realising it. Damn, they should get done for manslaughter.

I realised they were shouting which is nothing new.

Over the screams I shouted “I’m home!” Each day I shout this and each day I get that tiny flicker of hope that one of them will shout back something. Anything. But each day I am greeted with stone cold silence. But I guess the silence screams a thousand words.

I walked into the kitchen trying to listen to what was being said in the dining room.

“I’m not saying you can’t have fun, I’m just saying you can’t blow all the money on alcohol!”

“I’m not! You just don’t want me to live my life do you? You are so controlling! First you forced me to go out with you back in college, then you got me pregnant and now we’re stuck with a son neither of us wanted and now this! What more do you want from me!”

I stopped listening. My eyes pricked with tears and my stomach twisted into knots. I rushed upstairs, trying to run away from the icy feeling slicing through my body.  It didn’t work. The cold followed me and it only got worse when I realised that she actually means it. Because she won’t come up to my room in a couple of seconds telling me she didn’t mean it. She won’t hug me and dry my tears, apologising for saying something so stupid. She won’t. She won’t because she hates me.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and found a certain contact. I smiled at her name on my screen.  I typed a simple ‘Hi’ and I put my phone down next to me not expecting her to message me back anytime soon. But no sooner had my hand let go of my phone it vibrated and I looked down to see a reply from her.

‘Well that was fast. I was wondering how long it would take for you to message me. I thought you’d be too busy with your side chicks. ;)’

My tears had stopped and a smile was spread across my face again. Imogen-Hope, what power do you have over me!

‘Side chicks? There is only you baby. I mean what type of guy do you take me for?’

She replied almost instantly again which caused me to smile at my phone like an idiot.

‘Eww, call me baby again and I will literally stab you. And I take you for a busy one ;)’

I laughed at her playfulness and I realised I suddenly felt so much better.

‘Okay. Baby.’

‘Alex I swear, this isn’t just an empty threat. I will stab you!’

God I love her. 

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