And I Hope It Stays Like That

Imogen-Hope is a 15 year old girl who is suicidal and is extremely close to killing herself. But when the popular boy at her school starts showing interest in her she begins to see light at the end of an extremely dark tunnel. But can Alex change her life forever, or is it already to late.

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15. Chapter 14

 Alex

“I know don’t worry, but to answer your question, no I do not have girlfriend. You are the only girl in my life. And I hope it stays like that.” I smiled at her and I thought I’d regret what I said, but I don’t. I am quite pleased with myself for saying it. I don’t expect her to run into my arms and kiss me. As nice as it sounds, I don’t expect it from her and for now I am fine with being friends.

I focused on her reaction and saw that she had bright red cheeks and the most beautiful smile on her face. I loved when she smiled, she just didn’t do it enough.

“You should smile more often you know, you don’t seem to be doing it enough.” I looked at her and she still had scarlet cheeks.

“Oh really? Maybe it’s because I don’t have much to smile about.” She looked me straight in the eyes as she said the last part of the sentence and it felt like a dagger to the heart. She deserves all the happiness in the world because...  To be honest I don’t know why but I just feel this strong urge to make her happy and I will do anything to fulfil that urge.

“Well, I guess I will have to change that. Everyone deserves happiness Imogen. You more than most.”

“And why is that? Why do I deserve happiness more than most?”

“Because... Because it seems like you have been sad for way to long?”

“How do you know I have been sad?” Her smile wasn’t as big now. You could barely see it, just the corners of her mouth pulled up slightly.

“I don’t know. No offence when I say this, but you’re always on your own. In school; walking home; you were always on your own. A lonely person is never a happy person. 99 times out of 100, they are sad people. You can’t be sad Imogen, therefore you can’t be lonely. I want you to smile because you look so beautiful when you do. You...”I couldn’t fathom anymore words but I felt like I needed to say a million more. She deserved better that unhappy loneliness. She deserved the whole world!

Tears were in her eyes and I thought I had offended her until she smiled at me. In that moment there was only her. All my ties to the universe cut and replaced by steel chains all attached to her. She was the only thing that mattered. In that moment I realised something, the girl I had known for 3 days, the shy unhappy girl that has a beautiful smile, I realised that I love her. I am in love with her.

The tears had started to fall from her eyes, so I walked over to her and cupped her face in my hands. I wiped away the tears from her cheeks with the pad of my thumb. I leant down and put my forehead on hers and stared her in the eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” I whispered and more tears fell from her eyes but her smile grew. Just looking at her made my heart ache. I wanted to make all the pain she has ever felt go away. I hate anyone who has hurt her. I’ve never been in love before but I know that this is it. I know I’ve found the person I’m meant to love forever. She is the one.

I may be fifteen and I may have only known this girl for 3 days but just looking at her- no, even thinking about her makes me feel complete. The emptiness I feel inside me is filled by her smile, her laugh, her, just her.

“Stop crying, you’re too pretty to cry. Look at me, I meant everything I said. You deserve everything and anything you want, you deserve the simple pleasure of smiling and laughing and being happy. You deserve that Imogen, you deserve all of that.” The cut on my hand no longer mattered; she was the thing that mattered, the one and only thing.

We stood like this for a short while, every tear that fell from her glossy brown eyes I wiped away with my thumb, never letting go of her face.

Once her tears had stooped and only a smile remained on her face, I lifted my head and let go of her face. Without a word she grabbed my good hand and led me into the kitchen. She started looking around until she saw the small first aid kit hung on the wall. She walked over to it and opened the box gently, out of which she pulled a bandage and some sort of cotton thing, she also grabbed a small role of what looked like masking tape. She walked back over to me looking at my hand. My eyes didn’t leave her smile.

She took my hand and put the cotton thing over the top of the cut. Then she expertly wrapped the bandage around my hand securing the cotton thing in place. Once she had wrapped the entire bandage around my injured hand she secured that with a small strip of the masking tape thing.

“I’ve come to a conclusion.” I finally said.

“And what is that?” She looked up at me through her eyelashes until she fully tilted her head to look at me directly. My heart did summersaults.

“I couldn’t be a doctor or a nurse or anything else in the medical profession, whereas you, you could, because you seem pretty good at that. Whatever you just did.” I motioned to my injured hand.

“That’s what I want to do when I grow up. I want to be a nurse or an artist.” She seemed shy again. I’ve come to another conclusion, one of which I am not going to share with Imogen, she doesn’t like talking about herself.

“You’re an artist?” I was suddenly curious, I wanted to know what type of art she did, did she paint, draw? If she did, what did she paint or draw?

“Yeah, kind of, I haven’t done it in a while; I’ve not had much inspiration.” She was keeping up the shy act. I wanted her to be open about who she was; maybe I’d love her even more than what I already do.

“Well, that’s a shame ‘coz I kind of wanted to see some of your work. Did you paint or draw or something totally different that I probably won’t know about?”

“I did both. I painted and drew. Usually drew relatively normal things in abstract ways. But I bet you don’t know what that means do you?”

“No, but I now know what type of art you did. So I got half a point.” She chuckled slightly before looking me in the eyes. For some strange reason it felt as if her stare was taking over every inch of my body and leaving me helpless and out of control, and I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be. I’m completely content with her owning every inch of me, claiming me and making me hers. I just want to be near her forever and ever.

We walked into the lounge and she sat on the sofa but I stayed stood just admiring her. She probably thought I was a weirdo but I didn’t care.

“Hey, so I’m going to order pizza, what pizza do you want?” I asked her and suddenly panic shot across her face, I was confused but didn’t get time to ask because she quickly said:-

“I’m not hungry so I don’t want anything, thank you though.”  She seemed panicky still but I didn’t question it.

“You sure?” She nodded quickly and I shrugged.

“Okay, just let me know if you do okay?” She smiled at me and I left the room to go and ring the pizza place.

Once I had finished on the phone I walked back into the lounge and found Imogen looking down at her hands playing with her fingers. I love her; just the simplest of things make me love her, like how her glasses fall down her nose every so often or how she gets embarrassed at the simplest of things. I love her.

                                                                                ***

The empty pizza box lay on the floor in front of me and Imogen was next to me whilst we watched a re-run of How I Met Your Mother on the TV. I looked over at Imogen and saw her eye lids drooping.

“Hey, are you tired. Come on, I will walk you home.” She stood up and grabbed her school bag as I walked towards the door. We walked out into the frosty night and shivered when the cold air bit at our skin. It was only a 5 minute walk from my house to Imogen’s and to be honest I wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye. I don’t like being away from her.

We began walking in the direction of her house and it was silent but the small smile on her lips spoke a thousand words. It told me she was happy and with that I was happy. As we walked I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, and it made butterflies fly in my stomach when I saw her looking at me. She seriously is so beautiful. It physically hurts to think about how beautiful she is.

As we got to her house she turned to me and just smiled. I smiled back and, without me being fully aware of my actions, I hugged her. I wrapped her in my arms and nestled my head into her neck. She did the same, I felt her arms twist around me, and even in the freezing air I have never felt so warm. I inhaled and smelt the orange scent of her shampoo. If I could freeze this moment and live it forever I would.

It was all over to quickly though, Imogen pulled away first but made it up to me by kissing me on the cheek. Where her lips brushed my skin fireworks erupted. I felt my cheeks get hotter and I looked at her as she smiled back at me.

“See you tomorrow Alex.”

“See you” She began walking up her garden path and I followed her every move with my eyes, not moving my feet in any effort to go home.

She stopped just as she got to the door and turned towards me.

“Thank you for tonight Alex. Thank you for making me happy, because at the moment I am happy. And I hope it stays like that.” And with that she disappeared into her house leaving me outside trying to control my fluttering heart.

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