And I Hope It Stays Like That

Imogen-Hope is a 15 year old girl who is suicidal and is extremely close to killing herself. But when the popular boy at her school starts showing interest in her she begins to see light at the end of an extremely dark tunnel. But can Alex change her life forever, or is it already to late.


14. Chapter 13


My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. What if he was just kidding and he didn’t really want me to come to his house.

All day I had been contemplating this so as I walked out of the school doors I felt the anxiety attack hit me hard. My hands started to shake and tears pricked at my eyes. I’d feel so stupid if I waited for him and he not actually mean what he said. But if I leave and he did mean what he said I might have lost my chance of someone caring yet again.

As I neared closer to our meeting point I could feel my breathing quicken and my chest tighten...

Relief flooded through my body when I saw a smiling Alex stood in the elected spot. I walked up to him not able to smile back just yet because I was too concentrated in returning my breathing back to normal.

“Hey, are you okay? You don’t look good?” Worry was laced in with his features. It made my heart flutter.

I forced a smile onto my lips and slowly nodded my head. Not knowing if any noise would come out if I opened my mouth.

Come ON Imogen! Pull yourself together!

“Okay. Well let’s get going!” He tried to act optimistic but I could tell he was still worried. What I did enjoy though, was that he didn’t push for answers.

We started walking our usual route home in silence for a while. Not for any particular reason but it was silence. I felt sick to the stomach I was so nervous to be going to his house...

“So what do you want to do? I mean, I will order pizza in if you like and we can do whatever you want.” Again his voice shook like he was the nervous one. Why should he be nervous?

“We can do whatever I don’t mind. To be honest I would be happy with just sitting and watching TV.” I somehow found my voice. I just hope he can’t hear how panicky I am. He probably can, even I could tell what the thick emotion was in my voice.

He didn’t act upon it though. He just grinned at me and said:-

“I’m glad you said that ‘coz I didn’t have a clue as to what we should do.” He giggled nervously and then blushed. I found it adorable that he was nervous around me. It still left me confused as to why though.  I wanted to ask him but was too afraid to.

For a little while we walked in silence. We do this a lot, me and him, walk in silence but never find it uncomfortable or awkward. It’s always a nice, comfortable silence.

We walked past my house and it was so hard not to walk through my gate. Not because I wanted to but because of pure habit. I kind of liked the idea of breaking the habit. But by tomorrow Ì would go right back to the same old habit. I sighed and Alex seemed to notice.

“Are you okay? Do you want to go home?”

“No, no I’m fine just thinking.” I shyly smiled at him.

“About what? Tell me what you’re thinking.” He said rather smugly which made me nervous.

“Well, why do you want to know?” I asked warily.

“I want to get to know you Imogen; we are friends that’s what friends do.” He smiled again but this time it was a sincere smile no sign of smugness anymore.

“Oh, okay.” I was just about to carry on speaking when a question arose.

“We’re friends?”

He looked hurt and I instantly felt bad. Although, he did quickly compose himself and put a smile on his face.

“Yes of course we’re friends. I only invite my friends to my house.” He chuckled slightly and in that moment I decided that was my favourite sound in the whole world.

“Well I’m glad we’re friends.” I laughed slightly. I had become accustomed to the sound now. These past 3 days of knowing Alex I’ve laughed more than I have in the past 6 months.

“I’m glad we’re friends too.” He grinned at me and a tingling feeling erupted in my stomach. Like laughing, I had become used to the feeling of a smile involuntarily spreading itself across my face. I had not only become accustomed to the feeling but I quite like it as well. I like being happy. It’s just a shame that Alex is the only thing in this whole world that makes me happy. Because I only spend the maximum of an hour with him a day, therefore only being happy or an hour day. Also I have only been speaking to Alex for 3 days. That means in the past 6 months I have only felt the feeling of happiness for 3 hours.

By the time I had finished thinking this through Alex had started slowing down until he stopped outside a black gate.

“Well this is the outside of my house.” He seemed nervous and again I was confused.

It was quite a large house. From the outside it looked as if it had at least 4 bedrooms. The whole house was a creamy colour with a black slate roof. In the top left corner of the front wall, leading from the roof, was dark green ivy swirling across the walls making beautiful patterns with its leafy vines. It stretched out across the wall until it thinned out so much you could barely see it. It was honestly a really pretty house. A house I would love to live in but more than anything love to sit and draw. I quite enjoy drawing. I stopped doing it when Jane left. She left and it seemed like she took all my inspiration with her.

I shook my head trying to shake out the depressing thoughts. Not all of them because I’d have to do a lot of shaking for that. I followed Alex down the path as he unlocked the door.

As I stepped through the door a welcome wave of warmth hit my skin and I shuddered slightly. I was completely grateful for the heat, I felt like my fingers were about to fall off and icicles were about to form on my nose.

I wanted to get the conversation with Alex going again but I was too nervous.

Come on Imogen he’s going to get bored if you don’t start talking soon and if you keep making him start the conversation!

I took my thoughts onto account and took a deep breath as I asked him a question:

“Are you sure your parents don’t mind me being here?”

“Yeah I’m sure they won’t even be home until late tonight, early tomorrow...”

“And you’re home alone all that time?”

“Not all that time, you’re here remember?” He smiled and I died a little inside. Why does he make me feel all gooey when he smiles at me? It’s rather infuriating!

I smiled back at him and then he must of realised we were still stood in his hallway with the front door wide open. He quickly closed it and walked through a door, motioning with his hands for me to follow.

The door led to the lounge; just like the outside of the house it was pretty and calming. The main colours of the room were cream and a deep red. There were subtle hints of black in the room as well, like a black flower pot or black cushions on the cream sofa. Or the black chandelier-like lamp shade. Again this is the sort of room I would like in my house when I’m older. If I live that long of course.

“Take a seat Imogen. Do you want a can of coke?”

My stomach dropped. I don’t drink coke. I don’t drink anything but water. Everything else has so much sugar in it, and sugar means putting on weight and I already have enough of that.

“No thank you.” I hate being impolite but I can’t put on any more weight.

“Okay, just tell me if you want anything. I’m just going to get myself a drink.”

I smiled at him as a reply and sat patiently whilst he was in the kitchen. I heard some commotion and then a smash.

“Oh crap!” I heard Alex groan as I jumped up out of my sea and ran to the kitchen. Alex was o his hands and knees picking up broken pieces of glass. I got down on my knees to and started to help him clear up the glass.

“Ow!”  I looked up to see Alex cradling his hand against his chest, a red liquid staining his school shirt.

“Oh god, come here.” I dragged him by his good hand to the sink. I started to run the cold water tap and began examining the cut on his hand. 

“Do you have something I can wipe this up with?”

“Yeah, here.”  He leaned across me his good hand brushing my arm and it was like an electric current erupted underneath his touch.

Control yourself Imogen. He doesn’t like you, especially not like that!

He grabbed a wash cloth from the draw next to me and passed it to me. I ran it under the cold tap and the ringed it out.

“This might sting a little, but it’s necessary.” I wiped the cut on his hand and I could tell it was only a small cut that wouldn’t need stitches but when I looked up at Alex he had gone very pale.

“Oh, are you okay?”

“I’m... I’m not too keen on blood or cuts or... stuff like that...”

“Okay, well, come and sit down.”

I led him into the dining room and as I walked through the arch way I realised something. There are no family photos. To be honest there are no photos at all. Maybe they’re upstairs?

I pulled out a chair for him and let him sit down.

“That should be the other way round.” He whispered and I looked at him confused.

“Shouldn’t the boy pull out a chair for a girl? We just did it the other way round.” He elaborated.

“Well when the boy is bleeding and is about to pass out the rules change a bit and the girl gets to pull out the chair for the boy.” I gave him a sympathetic smile which he returned with my favourite smile of his. The one where his teeth show and his dimples are really prominent and his eyes crinkle at the sides. It’s the smile that stopped me from killing the self. It’s the smile that saved me.

“Give me a second I’m going to get you your coke to put some sugar back into your system.” I walked into the kitchen and grabbed his coke but whilst I was doing so I realised yet another thing.  Almost all the girls in my school would want to be in my situation at the moment. In Alex Thompson’s house. Him calling them his friend, although I’m sure they’d want a little bit more.

But with that thought accumulated another question. Does Alex have a girlfriend? I mean, he’s never mentioned a girlfriend but he’s the most popular guy in school and all of his friends have girlfriends so I don’t see why he shouldn’t.

I walked back into the dining room and I thought I’d ask Alex about this.

“Hey, so I want to ask you something. It’s okay if you don’t want to answer but... Do you have girlfriend? It’s just you’ve never brought one up but I thought the most popular guy in school would have one?” I felt my cheeks flush and I suddenly wanted to take the question back! I bet it sounded like I wanted to be his girlfriend.

He chuckled slightly “Well wouldn’t you like to know?” His smug smile made me cover my face with my hands.

“No no no it’s not like that! I just thought we’re friends so I thought friends know this stuff about each other.”

He smiled his award-winning smile at me. “I know don’t worry but to answer your question, no I do not have a girlfriend. You are the only girl in my life. And I hope it stays like that.”

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