And I Hope It Stays Like That

Imogen-Hope is a 15 year old girl who is suicidal and is extremely close to killing herself. But when the popular boy at her school starts showing interest in her she begins to see light at the end of an extremely dark tunnel. But can Alex change her life forever, or is it already to late.

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11. Chapter 10

Alex

The next morning I did my usual routine and started walking to school. I know Imogen walks to school I just don’t know what time she sets off from her house at, so I skipped breakfast and left earlier to see if I can meet up with her. I kept telling myself that I don’t want to seem too forward but I had to see her again. Yesterday when I was with her, and granted it was only for ten minutes, it was like the huge void in my life left by my parents started closing up. Yes it may sound cheesy. Saying that she makes me feel whole, or she completes me or whatever. But it’s true.

I thought about this whilst I stood outside her garden gate where she left me yesterday. I don’t know what I would do if she’s already left but she shouldn’t have, I mean it’s only half seven.

My stomach growled and I began to wish that I hadn’t skipped breakfast. Like I could have picked up a cereal bar or something just to give me a little boost until break!

I carried on ranting at myself about the importance of breakfast until I heard the click of a door behind me. I spun around and was faced with the tired looking girl that has been parading through my thoughts since last night!

“Imogen... Hi. I thought I’d walk you to school since I have no one else to walk with and... to be truthful I quite enjoyed our little talk yesterday and thought I may as well continue it. Now of course if you want me to just leave you alone and you would much prefer to walk by yourself, then that’s fine to. But... but my morning would quickly become perfect if you gave me the pleasure of walking you to school.”

I don’t know what it is about her that makes me speak in really long passages but I do and I only seem to do it around her.

A small smile played on her plump lips. I could tell already what her answer was going to be and I wanted to do cart wheels!

“I would love it if you walked me to school Alex.”

She stepped out of her garden and began to walk in the direction of school. I stood still and just admired the way her pony tail swayed as she walked. The way she had to keep pushing her glasses up her nose. The way her nose grew pinker the longer we were out in the frosty air.

I was dragged out of my thoughts when Imogen turned her head and said

“Are you coming or what, because at the moment I might as well be walking on my own!”

She was so sarcastic it made me smile like a fool. I ran to catch up to her my smile never ceasing.

“Why did you want to walk with me?” Her small voice came out nervously. So the shy girl from yesterday is back I see...

“Well Imogen, I find you fascinating.” My voice was shaking. I guess it’s my turn to be the nervous one.

Imogen scoffed at my answer and giggled a little. Her eyes widened at the sound but quickly went back to normal.

“Me. Fascinating.” She laughed again. “Alex don’t lie to me, tell me the real reason you wanted to walk me to school.” Her shoulders shook slightly as she carried on laughing.

“See that’s just it Imogen. I wasn’t lying.”

She stopped laughing and just stared at me, disbelief covered her beautiful features.

“So what is it that you find fascinating about me?”

I stopped walking dead in my tracks. Imogen stopped walking as well and stared at me, confusion still a mask on her. I took a deep breath, knowing that my next words were going to be one of those long passages again. The ones that I only seem to speak in around Imogen.

“Are you ready for this?” my voice was shaking again. How is it that she can make me so nervous?  She nodded her head slightly and worry replaced the confusion in her eyes.

“Well Imogen-Hope, what I find fascinating about you is the way you don’t hang around with anyone at school, the way you keep your head down and don’t look up as if it is a crime to do so, the way you pull down your sleeves quite unknowingly, like you have something to hide. But most importantly the way I saw you smile for the first time yesterday. It shouldn’t be like that, you should smile all the time because well, you look really pretty when you do.” What did I say that last part for! Now she’s going to know I like her! Alex, you’ve really done it this time!

I hadn’t realised I had been looking at the ground whilst speaking and then silently lecturing myself, so I looked up and saw the most beautiful smile ever! I looked into her eyes and I was shocked to find tears.

“Oh my god, why are you crying? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you! What was it that I said? What part of it?” Panic was thick in my voice and it made me sound really high pitched.

“You care about me.” Was all that she said but I knew just from them four words that I hadn’t made her sad. I’d made her happy.

I smiled back at her, relief probably clear on my face.

“Yeah, I care about you. Why wouldn’t I?”

She just shook her head obviously not wanting to get into it, and I didn’t push her for the information.

“Let’s get to school.” She spoke with a bit more confidence this time. Also, her voice didn’t sound as blank. There was emotion mixed in with the words and for that I couldn’t have been prouder of myself.

We began to walk again, but in silence this time. It was a nice silence though. Comfortable.

As we reached the doors to school I knew this is where I had to say goodbye because my friends wouldn’t welcome her into the group.

“Well Imogen, I thoroughly enjoyed our walk together and maybe we can finish the conversation later walking home from school. Same place as yesterday just, don’t fall over this time.”

She giggled and I felt like my heart just melted.

“See you later Alex.” She smiled at me before walking into the school disappearing almost instantaneously in the sea of teenagers.

My eyes were still fixed on the place that I last saw her when someone stepped in front of me.

“Alex! Hey what were you speaking to her for? I mean come on, why speak to a loner who is most likely an emo who slashes her wrists as well?”

“Leave her alone Luke you don’t know anything about her and for your information she is not an emo and she’s not a loner! I’m her friend so obviously she’s not. She’s a really nice girl that no one even takes a second glance at because she’s shy and it’s not fair! So like I said just leave her alone Luke!” I spat the words as if it was venom. My fists were clenched and I could physically feel the anger racing through my veins.

“Whoa...  calm down! I was just saying she isn’t good for your image.” He tried to defend himself but it made things worse.

“My image! My image means nothing to me if it means that I can’t speak to someone that is really nice and sweet but isn’t popular!”

Luke was the closest thing I had to a best friend and usually he’s really cool but at the moment I wanted to punch him.

He stood looking at me, bewilderment the only emotion I could recognise on his face.

“Alex, ‘coz you’re my friend I’m going to walk away and let you calm down. I’ll come back later when you aren’t acting like a crazy person.”

Before I could reply he turned his back to me and walked away into the sea of people that was now thinning.

The first bell rang and I reluctantly dragged myself to my first class. English. Great. I wish Imogen was in my classes, I’d have a reason to want to go to them then.

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