I woke up to sunlight streaming through the blinds. I blinked from the brightness then my mind wandered to a memory I didn’t want to see again.
My eyelids fluttered as I felt something light and feathery on my face. I opened them and saw Zayn, who was planting light kisses everywhere possible. I smiled and he chuckled back. “Morning” I sighed, looking up at him.
“Morning babe” He said, planting yet another kiss on me. I giggled.
“What time is it?” I asked, stretching and yawning.
“Nearly 10am, why?”
My eyes bugged out. “What! Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s like 10 to. Why are you worried about the time?”
“Because I have to work today”
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I said, getting up and searching for my work clothes.
“You looked so peaceful and beautiful. Was it wrong of me to not disturb you?”
“Yes, very wrong, Zayn!”
Zayn got up and looked sad. “I’m sorry, I just thought maybe it’d be nice if you slept in”
“Good intentions, wrong time” I said. I finally found my work clothes and rushed into the bathroom. My clothes were crushed but it was too late now, nothing I could do to save them. I shimmied out of my clothes and put on my blue t-shirt and black pants. I brushed my hair and put my hair into a high ponytail. Then I brushed my teeth quickly. I put on some make-up and went for the natural look. I walked out and grabbed my purse. I turned to him and grabbed his arm.
“What?” He said, confused.
“Aren’t you going to come with me so you can see me off?”
“Alright, alright. I’m coming” He said, laughing as I pulled him to the front door. I kissed him goodbye. After a few moments, I pulled away smiling.
“That should be enough to get us through the day” I said. I pecked him on the lips and went to walk out the door but Zayn grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I laughed. “What?”
He placed his lips on mine and kissed me. This kiss wasn’t a goodbye kiss, it was a ‘stay’ kiss. He pulled me close and grabbed my waist. I gasped and kissed him back. My hand ran through his hair. But sadly, I had to end it. “Babe, I have to go” I said, smiling.
“No you don’t. Get today off”
“I can’t babe, you know that. I have to pay the bills”
“Awe” He said, pouting. I gave him another kiss.
“I love you babe”
“I love you too” He said. I blew him a kiss and walked out closing the door…
*End Of Flashback*
My smile faltered but I quickly composed myself. I was not going to let anything get me down. Not today, especially not today. I was in a good mood and I haven’t felt so good in ages. I got out of bed and let out a massive yawn. I stretched up on my tiptoes. I walked into the bathroom and splashed my face with water. I wiped my face and for the first time in a month, I smiled and meant it. Zayn was in the past. What we had…was no longer real. I had to move on, properly. I was only bringing more pain to myself. It wasn’t healthy. Today, I was going to have fun and just forget about the past and about Zayn. He’s in London and I’m in Australia. I needed to move on. I was so over feeling heart-broken and feeling sorry for myself. And I was so over people giving me that look. I wasn’t weak, I was strong. And I was not going to let some old memories and what once was, defeat me.
It’s a new day, a new me. I was no longer Ashley – the girl who had her heartbroken and cried for months, I was Ashley – the girl who moved on with life and proved that she will not let a boy hurt her more than she has.
I totted down the stairs barefoot, in my baggy t-shirt and shorts and saw everyone already eating breakfast. They looked at me and smiled cautiously, worried I might break. I wanted too, but that was the old me speaking. I rolled my eyes, laughed and smiled. I think my response took them by surprise. I didn’t blame them, I hadn’t laughed and smiled in months. This was the first happy gesture I have done since the break-up.
“Don’t worry guys, I’m over it. I’m not going to break down and be a blubbering mess”
“Are you sure?” Harry asked.
“Yes. I’m over being the poor defenceless girl who couldn’t get over a boy. I’m over crying. I’m over being known as the girl who shed a thousand tears over someone who didn’t deserve them. And…” I sighed. “I’m over him” I smiled. I poured myself a cup of coffee and gripped the cup. I turned to them.
“Wow, why the sudden personality change, Ash?” Harry asked me, laughing. I shrugged.
“Because I need to move on. I’ve spent too much time in the past and now, it’s time to come back to present and be here for the ones who are here for me. You guys”
“Awe, so sweet” Louis said, mockingly. He put his hand to his heart and pretended to wipe away a tear. Liam smacked him on the back of the head and shook his head. “Ow! What?” He exclaimed.
“You’re such an idiot sometimes”
“Geez, can’t any of you take a joke?”
“Hello, Ashley has just realised that she has spent months mourning over a boy. She says she needs to move on. Now, if you’re gonna be like that and mock her for turning a new leaf, you’ll be the one to blame when she breaks down again. She doesn’t need you to mock her right now. Just be the friend that you are”
“But Zayn isn’t dead! So why is she mourning?”
“Yes, I do realise I chose the wrong word. But to her, in her head and heart right now, he is dead to her”
The boys all smiled and hi-fived Liam. I laughed at Liam and chest bumped him. “Boom”
“And you guys think that I am the immature one”
“Hate me cuz you ain’t me”
I sat down next to Niall and he held my hand. His eyes were full of hope. “You’re back?”
“Yes, I’m back” I said, smiling.
“Niall, I won’t be going back there anytime soon”
Niall’s smile reached his eyes and I couldn’t help but smile too. I leaned over and kissed him. I pulled back and laughed. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
“I think I have a vague idea. Do you wanna do something today, just us?”
“Sure? What do you wanna do?”
“I was thinking maybe we should go on a date somewhere? Maybe the movies or a picnic? Or we could check out that new restaurant down the road? Tallwood? I hear it has really good food, it’s a bit pricey but they reckon the food is definitely worth it”
I was filled with a nervous excitement. It was a good feeling, and I hadn’t felt like this ever since I made my trip to Mollymook. It was good to feel like this again.
I was smiling like a complete idiot and fool. As I drove to Starbucks, I couldn’t stop thinking of what might happen or what could happen and even then, my mind thought of what would happen. For the first time, I was looking forward to something. I was looking forward to seeing a girl. I don’t know what it was, but something about Perrie made me forget about everything; my past, my worries, my trouble, the future. And it made me feel exhilarated and full of adrenaline. I had no idea what I was feeling. My stomach was in knots and heart was beating really hard. I loved this feeling. I pulled up to Starbucks and saw a fancy silver Mercedes out the front; I raised an eyebrow and smiled. She had money; I’d have to tell her though that I’m not planning on using her just for the money. People who do that are sick and evil and they make me angry. I would never use a girl just for their money, it made me shudder. I parked behind her and walked inside. I spotted her immediately; like a moth to a flame. I smiled and sat down in front of her.
“Hi” I said. I didn’t exactly know what else to say. I didn’t know what the appropriate greeting was. S’up seemed a bit rude and hello was too formal. Hi seemed the only appropriate thing to say.
“Hey, how are you?” She asked me. Or there was that greeting.
“You know, same old, same old; exploring my hometown, finding a job, catching up with my old friends. You know how it is”
“Yeah, so what do you want to order?” She asked me with a small smile on her face.
“I don’t know. Pass me the menu, so I can decide” She handed me the menu and I studied it for a while then I found something that sounded really good. “I might have the roasted tomato and mozzarella Panini”
“No way! Shut up!” She said, beaming.
“What?” I said, confused at her outburst.
“That’s what I’m getting!”
“What about drinks?”
“Hmmm. I’m thinking the Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher”
“What? Don’t tell me you’re getting the same drink too!”
“Fine, I’m not getting the Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher”
“Ok, now that just gives away. Well, I’m not changing my mind so why don’t we just the same thing?”
“Really? You don’t say!” She mocked me, but you could tell she didn’t mean a word. There was a small smile playing at the side of her mouth. A waitress came up to us with a smile that was so wide, it had to be fake.
“Hi, welcome to Starbucks. What would you like?”
“Hello…Amanda” I said, reading her nametag. “Can we please have two roasted tomato mozzarella paninis and two Very Berry Hibiscus Refreshers? Thank you”
“Sure. Anything else?” She says, chewing her gum obnoxiously.
I pursed my lips and furrowed my eyebrows, pretending to think. “Hmm, I think I’m good. What about you Perrie?”
Perrie put a finger on her chin and looked heavenwards. “Hmm, nope. That’s it for me” We teased her.
“Your food will be here shortly” She said, and then walked away.
“God, it seems like every Starbucks waitress is a bitch these days”
“I know. I feel like I should become one just to make a statement”
“Omg! You should! But then no one really cares about manners these days. As long as they get their food, they’re happy”
“People these days”
“Yeah, hey that reminds me. I saw your flash car outside”
“Oh yeah, it’s pretty cool. But it’s not as cool as it was when I bought it. Now its just an ordinary car”
“I just wanted to say that I have no interest in dating you for money. I don’t want you to think that I am”
“Zayn” Perrie said, smiling.
“I just don’t want you misunderstand my intentions”
“Zayn” She repeated, still smiling.
“I’m a gentlemen and I don’t ever want to use a girl for her money especially you”
“Zayn!” She laughed, getting my attention.
“What?” I asked her, confused.
“You don’t have to explain. I know you don’t want to use me for my money”
“Yes! We made this date before you even saw my car. Therefore, you liked me for who I am not what I am. And I’m glad that you like me for who I am. And I’m extremely happy that you felt the need to make your intentions clear and explain. It is very gentlemen and I’m glad that you are”
Our meals were served then and we laughed again at how we happened to choose the same meal and drink. I was starting to like Perrie even more and soon all thought of Ashley left my mind and for once, I didn’t feel bad about forgetting her.