"River!" The Doctor shouted across the TARDIS console.
"Yes sweetie," River purred.
"We are crash landing and you are actually, genuinely, seriously sitting there reading a book!"
"Actually Doctor, I'll have you know that Harry Potter is not just a book, as my mother always told me, it is obligatory that one must read Harry Potter at least once in one's life."
"I never had you pegged as an avid reader," the Doctor spluttered through his heavy panting.
"Oh, I'm not at all, I'm just enjoying watching you struggle." River said as she closed the book and walked toward the console, still not helping the Doctor out.
"River please! Help me out here! That's what...you know...married couples do, right?" The Doctor was gasping now as he sprinted around console pulling lever after lever and pushing button after button. Suddenly the TARDIS jolted quickly, with an awful lot of force, sending both River and the Doctor to the floor. While River managed to land gracefully the Doctor managed to fall flat on his face and he was now more disgruntled than the last time the daleks showed up again.
"I guess now would be a good time to help," River said jokingly. The Doctor glared at her sternly while she started steering the TARDIS. There was another jolt, although it wasn't as harsh as the last one and River managed to stay upright, however, the Doctor wasn't so fortunate. River laughed as he stumbled to his feet.
"How do you do that?" The Doctor asked.
"Do what?" River responded.
"Laugh, control the TARDIS, while not looking like a total mess and just doing the whole thing so effortlessly!"
"The perks of being a woman. Multitasking is simple." She grinned at him in the way that annoyed him so much but he just couldn't help but grin back. He started stumbling around the console once again, helping River land the TARDIS. "Any idea where we are landing sweetie?"
"You're the expert on TARDIS driving here, why don't you tell me," the Doctor said, raising one of his barely visible eyebrows.
"Actually, the readings are too difficult even for me to read, it's saying that we are currently heading for somewhere that doesn't exist." There was another jolt and this time the TARDIS was quiet and they knew they had landed. "Time to see our non-existent location." River steadied herself and ran towards the TARDIS door, swinging it open. What she saw next was absolutely not what she was expecting.