1. It's Crazy
It's crazy how I can be with my friends and laugh and mess around. Smile and sing. But, when I go home. I walk into the door and the loneliness hits me. Depression presses me into a ball. I am pressed between two walls. A small space. I sit in my room. The tears rush down my face. I look up and clear my eyes. Lean my back and head against the wall while pulling my knees to my chest. My head a whirl of thoughts. What if they are using me? What if our friendship is all just a lie? Do they talk about me when I leave? He doesn't really like you. He uses you for your body. For your looks. I look to the drawer where the blade with my dry blood lie. I imagine running it over my skin, releasing the pain in a pool of red. I shake the thought from my mind. My voice cracks and I whisper to myself.
"I can't do this."