It's Crazy Really

Feelings and Emotions whirl around in your thought filled head. You don't know what to believe and what not to believe. You want to have fun but you also know that you are alone. You don't know what to do exactly. It's crazy really.

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1. It's Crazy

    It's crazy how I can be with my friends and laugh and mess around. Smile and sing. But, when I go home. I walk into the door and the loneliness hits me. Depression presses me into a ball. I am pressed between two walls. A small space. I sit in my room. The tears rush down my face. I look up and clear my eyes. Lean my back and head against the wall while pulling my knees to my chest. My head a whirl of thoughts. What if they are using me? What if our friendship is all just a lie? Do they talk about me when I leave? He doesn't really like you. He uses you for your body. For your looks. I look to the drawer where the blade with my dry blood lie. I imagine running it over my skin, releasing the pain in a pool of red. I shake the thought from my mind. My voice cracks and I whisper to myself. 

            "I can't do this." 

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