"Are you sure you want kids?"
Perrie looked at me like a question mark. I had to talk to someone about my feelings and I realized that Niall wouldn't understand.
"I don't know!"
Perrie smiled weakly and she blushed slightly.
I snorted a little bit, because I knew that my mother had often told me that it would feel when you gave birth.
"It wasn't what I meant." Perrie was quick to fill in. "I'm talking about when you're pregnant."
I didn't understand the conversation and I wondered what it was she was referring to.
"You mean it hurts to have sex?"
Stupid question because none of us was a virgin.
"No!" She laughed a little bit. "I'm talking about when he makes you pregnant. You know that it's done in a different way?"
"Okay tell me." I mumbled quickly. "It's just as well that you tell me that about flowers and the bees."
I noted that she continued to blush. She hesitated, and I realized that perhaps it wasn't a common topic in a conversation?
"Please Perrie." I whispered. "Tell me what it is that hurts, so I can decide what I want to do. It's my body."
She nodded a little bit.
"You know when he's..." she hesitated. "When he has.... you know... in you?"
"Come inside me?"
She nodded, and she looked down at her hands.
"That's when it can hurt."
I didn't still understand.
"Does it hurt when he comes?"
She quickly shook her head and I saw that she gathered courage.
"When the guy has come, he must ensure that he stays inside her. In a vampire must both help and when he has been in there for a while...." She looked at me with uncertain eyes. "Let's just say that it hurts."
I leaned back on the sofa and I just stared at her. I hadn't become smarter of our conversation.
"Does it hurt when he...?" I cleared my throat. "You mean he'll stay inside, down there?"
"Yes, he will as well make sure that everything stays in there."
I gave up.
"Perrie, I still understand nothing."
"Okay, I can't explain, but trust me. It hurts to get pregnant with a vampire and it's not something you just decide to do like that."
I didn't know if I could trust her. As soon as Niall was alone in his office, I chose to come in to him and question it.
"It hurts!" I exclaimed quickly. Niall looked like a question mark and he looked at me. He had reading glasses on and he looked at me for a long time.
I hesitated, but we had to be open to each other and I wanted to know the truth.
"Perrie said it does really hurt to get pregnant."
Niall took off his glasses and he laid them down on the table. He looked amused and he smiled a little bit.
"So you've been thinking about it?"
I hesitated again. This seemed so silly, to talk about such things. I sat down on the chair in front of him and I tried to keep my calm.
"Like you said, we may have to plan what it is that we want to do?"
"And you're not exactly keen on the idea?"
What could I say?
"I'm not keen on the idea that it hurts."
Niall laughed a little bit and I saw at him that he was happy that I wanted to talk to him. He leaned back in his chair and his gorgeous eyes were fixed on me.
"Everything hurts, sweetheart." he said, and he raised his eyebrows. "It's all about what you want to do and it's you who decide if you want to get pregnant. I'm not going to force you."
"And you know how much it hurts?"
Niall hesitated. He let a hand slide through his hair and he thought for a moment.
"I just know that the rewards are bigger."
Okay, he chose to speak in riddles?
"How do you mean?"
He swallowed and I knew that he concealed many parts. I hadn't learned to open up to him, after that with Sam, and we were no longer pro at talking telepathically. I knew that he used it to his advantage.
"When the pain is gone you'll forget it."
I chose not to discuss the subject more. I knew I didn't want it yet, and I knew I wouldn't get a good answer. Therefore, I stood up and I went to the door, out of the room.
I stopped and I turned around. Niall smiled and his eyes were filled with love.
"I demand nothing from you." he whispered tenderly. "But I still want to continue dreaming."
"Yes, I've been waiting for you all my life and I'm hungry for everything that has to do with us. I'm also aware of what I require of you, but I believe it's the next step."
He seemed to want to do it all.
"And if I say no?"
"Then I wait?"
I had the most wonderful man by my side. He was everything that a woman could dream about and the farther away from the Sam I got, the more I understood. Niall had been alone for over a hundred years, and maybe he was more mature against what I was. Yet he elected to let me decide everything. Sometimes I was almost in tears over how much he cared.
"Finally you got that!" Harry said to me. I smiled at him and I wondered what he was referring to. He laughed a little bit and he leaned slightly toward me.
"Your husband loves you more than anything and he's ready to stop dreaming, if that's what you want."
I realized that everyone knew everything about everyone. I knew that word was spread quickly and vampires loved to gossip about everyone and everything, especially when it was about me and Niall.
"What does everyone says about us?"
He hesitated, but I knew he was more honest than Niall many times.
"They say that Niall should put demands on you. That he's a wimp."
"But it's not true?"
He agreed and he nodded.
"I know, but tell that to those old ladies who know everything."
I smiled uncertainly.
"And what should I do about it?"
"Facing Niall halfway and go along with some of his dreams."
"What dreams are we talking about?"
Harry blushed and he looked down at the floor.
There will be more, and I apologize that I don't have a wilder imagination right now... :D
I love u who's giving my story your time... ♥♥♥♥