Voices (Lashton)

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  • Published: 28 Oct 2014
  • Updated: 20 Jul 2016
  • Status: Complete
My eyes widen. "M'not gay Lucas." I mumble. "Right. Says the one who was making out with a guy on his bedroom floor." I hear him smirk. "Screw you." I say and he chuckles. Where Ashton tries to ignore the voice in his head and fails miserably at it.

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37. Why Did I Ever Stop?

Hey guys.

So hope you like this chapter because giggly Ashton is my favourite next to drunk Ashton.

Like c'mon it's funny when anyone's drunk.

So yeah don't forget to fave, fan an comment!

And maybe check out my other story's to!!

Love ya guys!

~ Abbigail

Ashton's POV

While at Michaels I've had time to think. Maybe I was a little harsh on Luke.....

I mean, he's trying so hard and here I am being an ass to him....

I sigh as we pull up to my house, I turn to Michael. "Thanks. And sorry if I was a burden on you."

He chuckles. "No problem Ashton. It was fun. We should do it again sometime." He says smiling at me and I can't help but smile back.

When I was at Michael's all we did was watch movies, talk and play video games.

Oh and we argued over FIFA because I hate the game with a passion while he loves it.

But I just suck at video games in general so.....

See the problem?

I hop out and wave bye as Michael drives away. I sigh as I stick my hands in my pockets.

I walk up to the house and I'm met by a glaring mum.

"Where the fuck were you?" She blows as soon as I shut the door behind me, I roll my eyes. I really don't have time for her bullshit, I've got to talk to Luke.

"Was at Michael's." Is all I say as I rush up the stairs to my room not caring at the movement what mum has to say. She wants to yell at me she can do it later and after I talk with Luke.

I get out my phone and send Luke a text.

'Hey. Talk?'

I stare at my phone waiting for him to message me back but it never comes. I furrow my eyebrows and decide to call him.

It rings a few seconds before being answered.

"Hello?" The person on the other end says and grow confused.

"Calum?" I ask.

"Shit." He curses away from the phone and I frown.

Why does Calum have Luke's phone? Last time I checked they didn't like each other....

"Fuck Calum at least put boxers on!" I hear Luke yell and I feel my heart sink a little.

What.....

"I would if I knew what you did with them!" Calum yells back and and I feel my eyes tear up a little.

"That's all your fault because you wanted to be a pain!" Luke shouts back and I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

"Where are they Lucas?" Calum says again.

"I don't know where I put them. You know I had other things on my mind at that moment." Luke says and I hang up.

Tears go down my face, and here I was going to say sorry and shit but he's hooking up with Calum, my suppose 'friend'.

Fuck it.

I leave my phone on my bed and slowly walk out of my room and down the stairs.

I notice a sticky note on the table and I go over and read it with bury eyes.

'Hey went out. Won't be home till late. Love ya.'

I crumple the note up.

I walk over to the cabinet and take out a bottle of whatever I can get my hands on.

I shut it close and go back up to my room, I shut my door behind me and I take a seat on my bed, taking a swing of the bottle.

God I'm such an ass. Why did I even think that Luke cared for me?

Another swing and before I know it the whole bottle is empty.

I pout at the lose of it but then giggle.

Oh well, it lived a better life then I ever have.

Fuck this shit.

"Fuck. That's a funny word. You could use it in soooooo many ways." I giggle and put the bottle on the ground beside my bed.

"Why am I never good enough?" I ask no one.

No one likes me.

I feel my eyes start to well with tears and I run to the bathroom. I reach under the sink for the little life sucker.

I finally find it and pull up the sleeves on my sweater.

One cut for being stupid and for believing Luke.

One cut for letting him in my life.

Another cut for letting him play me.

Another cut for being a fucking freak.

After I'm done numbering off everything that's wrong with me I've got 20 cuts on both arms.

I watch as the blood flows down my arm and I smile at the sight.

Why did I ever stop?

I sigh and stand up, holding on to the sink so I don't fall over.

I giggle to myself and I feel light headed.

Is this what it's like to be high?

I grin as I clean up my arms and giggle to myself as I look in the mirror.

"Why are you so worthless?" I ask my reflection.

"Why wouldn't you be, I mean look at you? Who could ever love you?" I reply back and just giggle as tears form in my eyes.

I walk away and flop on my bed, face first in my pillow.

"Ashton?" I hear Luke say.

I look around and notice that he's talking with me in my head.

Probably because he doesn't want to see your fugly ass face.

Yeah, that's it.

"Ashton, please answer me. I know you can hear me."

I roll my eyes.

"Why yeah gotta be so rude? Oh my god! That so should be a song! It could go, why ya gotta be so rude?! Oh my god I'm amazing!" I say and I burst into a fit of giggles.

"Ashton are you okay?" Luke asks me sounding worried and I just giggle.

"Never been better Lukey! Why don't you want me, like I know why but why?" I say pouting even though he can't see me but oh well.

"What are you talking about? Ashton your making no sense." He says and I just laugh and well I'm stupid and I fall off my bed.

"Ashton? Are you okay? What happened?" All I do is laugh my ass off.

"Ashton, honey are you okay? Who are you talking to?" I hear mum ask as she comes up the stairs.

I grin as she pops her head in my room looking around confused. "Mum I'm talking with Lucas. Say hi, he can hear you."

"Um where is he?" She asks.

I giggle. "In my head duh."

"Um right. I think you need some sleep. You've been gone all day." She says before coming over to me and pecking the top of my head.

"Love you mum." I say and she smiles softly at me.

"Love you to." She says before leaving me with my thoughts.

And Luke. Can't forget him.

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